Author	Thread: I Need Advice
Admin	I Need Advice Posted : 10 Oct, 2011 02:38 PM There's a girl who works at the school I attend and I'm extremely interested in getting to know her better. The problem is that I hardly ever get to see her. The extent of our relationship hasn't gone beyond the exchanging of greetings from time to time, and I haven't even formally introduced myself, though we did correspond to a small extent when I was applying to the school (she works in admissions). Now, here's where I need some guidance. Given the fact that our paths don't cross very often, which gives me little opportunity to strike up a conversation, I thought I might add her on Facebook. I'm hesitant to do this, though, since it could possibly come across as creepy. Some people might not think so, but I have no way of knowing how she would react. Do any of you have thoughts on the matter? Is it too risky? At this point, going the Facebook route seems to be the easiest way into her life, though it could also be an easy way to preclude any relationship we might be able to have, which I obviously don't want to do. Some help would be great. Thanks. Post Reply
View Profile History	I Need Advice Posted : 10 Oct, 2011 06:58 PM I don't add people to my FB as friends unless I have actually met them. I am not on it a lot, so it probably would not be a great way to get to know me. Does that help? Post Reply
View Profile History	I Need Advice Posted : 10 Oct, 2011 07:43 PM It probably isn't the best way to get to know her. I'm willing to agree with that. However, the chances I have to interact with her are few and far between. At least Facebook would open the door. I might also add that while she doesn't actually know me, we have crossed paths enough to where I am fairly certain she would recognize me were I do request her as a friend on Facebook. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	I Need Advice Posted : 10 Oct, 2011 09:02 PM I know a lot of people who will add any acquaintance as a FB friend, but I personally don't add someone that I don't know. If I'd exchanged greetings on occasion with the guy, and felt that he was a decent sort, I would probably add him. If he ever gave me reason to worry about his intentions, I'd simply delete him. Here's an idea. When you send a friend request, you always have the option of adding a personal message. Just "introduce" yourself that way, mention that you've met several times, and let her know that if she doesn't feel that she knows you well enough to add you as a FB friend, you won't be offended. Of course, you have to actually accept the fact that she might NOT add you. If that's the case, keep trying to find ways to cross paths with her, and always make a point of speaking and being friendly. If you have mutual friends or acquaintances, you could also ask them for help...all it might take is a cookout that both of you are invited to! Good luck! Post Reply
View Profile History	I Need Advice Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 11:21 AM I would definitely not go the facebook route in this case. Given that you've had little interaction beyond crossing paths and exchanging greetings on occasion sending her a friend request could be a little creepy, for one it would meant you took the time to search for her name on FB find her and then send a friend request when you barely know each other. While you don't cross paths a lot you still do cross paths, perhaps plan ahead sometime to make time to actually talk a little on one of these occasions. Use that opportunity to find out some things about her like her spiritual situation, interests, likes/dislikes, etc. If you are then still interested offer to have coffee with her sometime. Meeting and getting to know someone by electronic means has it's uses particularly if the person you are getting to know is not someone you would cross paths with such as someone you meet on a sight like this. However, if the person you are wanting to get to know better is someone you do cross paths with. Electronic means are by far the most impersonal means to get to know someone. I would say take advantage of the personal interaction albeit limited it's still personal interaction. Look at from another angle from her perspective, you see each other from time to time but instead of being approached that way she gets a friend request on facebook. Could make her wonder why your not approaching her in person. Post Reply
View Profile History	I Need Advice Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 12:03 PM Thanks for the advice, everyone. I'll probably pass on the Facebook thing for now. Post Reply
View Profile History	I Need Advice Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 01:09 PM She can not be added as a friend unless she excepts your quest. So, you could try it, it may work. I have FB for family and friends and friends of Family. I would have to know the man, are know someone that does know him personally to add him. Post Reply
View Profile History	I Need Advice Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 05:05 PM Do you know any of her friends that might be willing to set you up on a date with her? Post Reply