Author	Thread: Dating Advice
Admin	Dating Advice Posted : 29 Sep, 2011 02:33 PM I have been spending an in-ordinate amount of time searching the internet, and have seen MANY different web sites with dating advice. I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of being told what to expect, and what women can expect me to want in a relationship. This post is for you then. Feel free to dump on here if you run across the "dating" advice columns and want to rant. Here's mine for today. I just ran across an eHamorny email that said: The Secret Thoughts of Men and Women. Whoa, did those folks at eHarmony just get psychic? Who knows? So, I perused the article, and found out that most of it was based on certain "inadequate" thoughts that men and women have. Here's the link, just in case you want to actually look at this article, and chime in: http://advice.eharmony.com/about-you/secret-thoughts-single-men-and-women?cid=2091&aid=0810111 Here's the male POV, in my humble opinion. Women out there: we don't ACTUALLY want you to look like a supermodel. If we wanted those, we wouldn't be searching on HERE to find you! We would be attempting to find the women at fashion shows! Besides, I don't know about other men out there, but I would like my woman to have some "meat on her bones." If you don't know what that means, or want to rave at me for it, then shove off. I do like a woman who has curves, goes "natural," leaves off the make-up every once in a while, and doesn't mind that I run around in sweats. And DON'T ask us if something makes you LOOK FAT. That is a catch-22 and YOU know it. Also, don't make us compare you to other women on the street. Number 1, that is just rude and unfair. Also, it puts us in compromising situations. If you want to "watch men," it's ok by me, as long as you don't mind me watching women. Next, don't tell us that you are FAT all the time. It just makes us sick and tired of hearing the same lines. "I need to lose weight." "I'm so fat, I need to lose weight." Again, if we tell you that you are not fat, you tell us that you NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. If we say that you are, then you get offended. Hey, if you think you need to lose a few pounds, then DO IT. We'll even encourage you, and help you along the way. Don't think that all men are superficial either. I don't care if you are 5'2" tall and 180 lbs, as long as you carry yourself well. To me, it's who you are on the INSIDE, not what you look like on the outside. As stated above, if I wanted "arm candy," I would have been looking elsewhere and NOT clicked on your profile and sent you a wink or a message. Second point, don't go on and on about "previous boyfriends." I just got out of a relationship about 4 months ago where the gal I was with couldn't stop talking about her previous BFs. It practically drove me crazy! STOP already. We all have relationships that went bad, and we all have wounds and scars that won't quit. It's ok to talk about it, but not to dwell on it. Usually, I will mention what went wrong with the relationship, and leave it at that. I might say that I don't want to talk about it, so please, don't pressure me. This brings up another point. DON'T ask me if I would "ever take that person back." Again, that is a catch-22. If I say no, you might think I have a hidden aganda. If I say yes, you might think that I will broom you fast if my ex decides to "walk back into my life." There are certain women I MIGHT (I say again, MIGHT) take back IF they demonstrated BEYOND the shadow of a doubt that they had truly changed their ways. Other than that, no, I wouldn't take any ex back. So please, don't ask. If in the course of a conversation you mention it to me, I won't get offended. I will answer it in stride. It's just that recently (on here) a woman asked me if I would ever take back the gal that I just broke up with. I got a *tad* bit defensive because just 1 or 2 emails before I said that I wouldn't ever take this gal back again because of what she did to me. So please, either READ my emails or don't ask it. Finally, just be yourself. Don't think you are, know you are. It there is one thing that you should learn from the movies, its this. "Know Thyself." Know who you are DEEP down, and search your heart. If God loves us for who we are, then shouldn't we love others REGARDLESS of what they look like, or what they do? I Corinthians 13: 4-7 says: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Also see Psalm 139 (for God loves us more than we know, even if we don't always see it). If you are willing to do that, check out my profile and email me if you are interested. I am not perfect, not claiming to be "holier than thou," but just saying that I am NOT going to judge you based on looks alone. I would love to get to know you better, and see where the relationship leads. Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating Advice Posted : 29 Sep, 2011 07:32 PM so why are you reading dating advice, if you hate to read it? I would think a person would want to do something they like, but maybe that's just me. :MrT: Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating Advice Posted : 30 Sep, 2011 04:40 PM :excited: Personal experience is the best teacher, I do not pay attention to dating advice, I get to know the person and meeting in person rather than just online is the best experience to really get to know someone. One on One in person. Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating Advice Posted : 1 Oct, 2011 08:29 AM AMEN, Angel! :applause: Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating Advice Posted : 2 Oct, 2011 12:51 PM I think you all missed the point. The point is, this is what is being spoon fed to the American public. I'm sick of it, because eHarmony.com (supposedly where 'christians' go to date) is puttng it out there. If we are truly christians, then it is time to stand up for what we believe in. Isn't it? Or should we let our country go to the dogs? It's always good to read certain things, even if you don't agree just to know what they are thinking. Post Reply
Statie View Profile History	Dating Advice Posted : 2 Oct, 2011 02:31 PM Honestly Russ -- you are waaaaay over thinking this -- lol. :ROFL: Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating Advice Posted : 3 Oct, 2011 11:53 AM Am I? I don't think so. Seriously, you should look for yourself. Read the article above, search around on MSN and Yahoo. You will be EXTREMELY surprised at what you find. It's really sad. Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating Advice Posted : 3 Oct, 2011 01:37 PM Russ, in a few decades there'll be completely different advice and tips going around. The underlying problem can be seen in almost every area, even religion - man thinking he's figured out all the answers and if we do it a certain way everything will be fine. The most valuable thing a person can know (we'll exclude Jesus this once) is that they DO NOT know; and many things they will NEVER know. When we recognise our own fallibility (and that of others), we'll truly be in a position to start learning...:dunce: Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating Advice Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 10:41 AM the advice that most sites peddle out there is flawed for one basic fundamental reason. It is the world's wisdom. Worldly wisdom is full of ignorance because it it ignores Godly wisdom, because the world wants nothing do with God or his wisdom. This is why there's little reason to even bother reading most of this drivel. My dating advice comes from experience either personal or from other Christians, particularly happily married Christians. and scripture. God's word gives us plenty to go on in our search for a Godly spouse. Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating Advice Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 06:55 PM Nice blog! Also enjoyed many of the responses of Word vs. World to sum them up. Do you blog frequently? I would subscribe if it were possible. Post Reply