I have a lot I want to say but I guess I'll start here:
Ever since I was like 16 I have prayed for a wife but God hasn't sent one to me. I am beginning to think He either doesn't care or doesn't want me in a relationship.
For the longest time I have always met the wrong girls, and I can never seem to find anyone who is truly sold out for Jesus. To be honest, it's hard for me to relate to anyone who is not a Christian, that's why I can't conceive of ever being with someone who isn't.
Long story short, I have been going into long bouts of depression lately thinking maybe that it's just me. Maybe I am just too "different" for most people anyway.
My last church had tons of people my age there, but surprisingly enough I never fit in there. My peers seemed to only care about dressing up like movie stars or looking hip, cool, and relevant. Of course the girls my age there looked very intimidating, and they seemed to think they were God's gift to all guys. I wish they would realize that true beauty comes from the inside, not out.
I just wish there was something REAL out there. It seems everyone only cares about how they appear to others. I'm tired of all the fake facade and "worship me" mentality. My modern church-going experiences have turned into a feudal hierarchy system for the most part.
As for my depression, it's a real pride-killer to admit this on here but I could care less anymore. It's just that if I don't get this fixed now my relationship with Christ is going to suffer. Being on this site has made me feel like I'm a piece of merchandise that can't be sold. It's really sad, and I wish God would just take me into Heaven already so I don't have to deal with this.
I have already tried to psyche myself into thinking that I only need Jesus, and that did work for a long time; but it's almost as if I'm snapping now and can't hold back this flood of emotions.
LOL, I'm reading what I wrote just now and it really looks pathetic. I know, right? Again, I could care less what people think anymore. If I don't fit the stereotype of a confident, strong man I'm sorry.
You mean you couldn't care less. If you can care less that means you still care. Anyway...
You kinda jump around from topic to topic, but I think my overall answer is to just get active and keep active. Don't give yourself time to think those thoughts and let them grow. Get out and do whatever you can come up with that you'd like to do. If nothing else, and you know as soon as you lie down you'll just get engrossed in negative thinking, just go out the door and talk a walk. You'll get some hobbies and things you love to do whether some one is by your side or not and along the way will meet other like minded people to fit in with and it gets better from there. But for me it all starts with realizing you can't think your way out of your blues. You have to get out and do something.
Thank for you response. I don't think with me it's really one issue that's why I jump around a lot. I think part of it is family drama right now, but I think the answer is just to seek God. I was thinking a lot today and I need to just repent of this way of thinking because it's not healthy.
My dear dear friend... I felt for what you have written, and I see where you are coming from...
The desire you have is so godly, so pure, so holy you desire a good thing! But may I ask you a question that may shock you?
Are you desiring that Godly something so much, it consumes your mind, your desires all that you are? If so... then you have perhaps put that above the Lord!
How is that possible you may ask if it is a godly desire? I think of it this way, there are so many people in the church who are so INVOLVED in ministry they neglect the minister. they put desires, jobs, romance, idea of love, relationships, etc... above their first Love... Jesus Christ.
What does the Word says: Delight yourself in the Lord and he WILL give you the desire of your heart. You must first Delight all you have in him, put aside all thoughts of love/romance from you (no matter how godly it may be) and consume your thoughts and desires for Jesus! Then... your desires in due time will be fulfilled. It hurts to sacrifice such things, but with obedience comes blessings!
Remember my dear dear friend... Do not be looking for Love if Christ is not enough.
When you know you are now ready for love... Look for what you NEED in a woman, not what you WANT.
What I mean is this: We all NEED Love... not necessarily want it... once we have taste of what we need... then that need turns into a deep desire! That will narrow your search... I hope this helps somewhat... Be blessed, Mucho Lilo Love! Ciao! :)
Thank you. Yes I realize I am perhaps putting something over God. It is sinful... This is just a period I am going through trying to get over it. I am usually NOT like this. Christ is usually all I need but I guess I just snapped and my flesh got the best of me. God bless you and thank you for your loving post.
As I was reading your post, the phrase about being merchandise that won't sell jumped out at me. To that I say that you were bought at a price, and it's a price only One can afford! YOU are valued most highly by God - don't worry that others don't see it - before we were saved none of us knew we were even in debt, let alone our true worth...
Now about the wanting a partner: it won't help you to know we're all in the same or similar position (hence websites such as these). Nor will it comfort you to understand that our society has created such a false notion of love and marriage, that it takes years for people to realise that what they're holding out for simply isn't coming. What I hope will comfort you is that eventually most come to their senses, and then they'll be seeking people just like you. At the moment, they just aren't ready.
"Ever since I was like 16 I have prayed for a wife but God hasn't sent one to me. I am beginning to think He either doesn't care or doesn't want me in a relationship."
Ok, so what you are actually saying is you've asked God for a wife, so why aren't your prayers being answered? Simple...you lack faith.
The fact is you have received whatsoever you have asked God for at the very moment you prayed for it, whether you see it or not. If you see it, it is in the seen. If you do not, it is in the unseen. In either case you have received it in the present moment you prayed for it and it will manifest when you believe, when you have faith that you have received it and not a moment before.
Make a decision to accept the measure of faith you have been given and walk in it. Make a conscious decision to believe Jesus and "believe WHEN YOU PRAY that you have received whatever things you desire. Having joyful expectation of the things that God promised, yet we can not see; is the meat of how we are to live. Paul taught us that God created the seen from the unseen.
"Now, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." --(Hebrews 11:1). When we choose to live by faith, we will find peace. Faith and Peace are equal partners. It is impossible to have one without the other. Peace is critical to our relationship with God. Peace is evidence of faith. Peace is produced by faith. When you have peace of mind and spirit....you won't suffer depression or sadness. The only way to reach peace is through faith. Faith that God loves you and will provide that which you ask. Faith is living in the present moment, with joyful expectation, of the things that we cannot see. It is a choice that we make. No matter the circumstances in our lives. We can choose to be hopeful and find joy and peace as a result of a decision to believe and to have faith in what we do believe.
You're really preaching to the choir... And just because I lack faith in this stage in my life doesn't mean I didn't have strong faith before. I could say the same exact things to you if our situations were switched, and I have used the same line of logic accompanied by Bible verses, perhaps more than you have given. I know the truth, but I need something real now, not a sermon.
I'm with lilo on this as that was the first thing that came to my mind, when we place our hopes, desires, joy, or fulfillment in anything other than God. It's also a little early in life to think God either doesn't care (which you know isn't true) or will never give you someone. Your still young (22). I'm 34 and still single but haven't given up hope yet. Sometimes God makes us wait for things and he has his reasons for doing so. Stay persistent in your prayers, and seek first his kingdom. At times this is easier said than done. When we lose heavenly perspective our priorities tend to get out of whack. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, in all your ways acknowledge him an he will make your paths straight.
Ok so I did research and shockingly I have discovered I have a severe case of Social Anxiety Disorder... Great, how am I supposed to deal with this... Had it all my life.
