Author	Thread: How do you cope with loneliness?
Admin	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 13 Aug, 2011 07:05 PM I'm struggling right now, with my faith in God, which is ironic because I am a missionary and I spend hours and hours every week in private study and studying with both Christians and non-believers, but there are times when I am so lonely I can't stand it. So other than trite answers about praying more, and finding a purpose in my life, does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this overwhelming sense of being alone that has settled around my life? Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 13 Aug, 2011 07:12 PM It is a challenge...I can feel lonely in a crowd or at family events. Sometimes I'll go to a store/mall and just roam around, go to a park and watch others, go online to chat forums, go to a game. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 13 Aug, 2011 07:52 PM I really wish I could tell you the answer, but I haven�t been able to figure it out myself. I know for many, loneliness is a temporary thing, where there are short periods of times where one feels lonely, such as described by teach_ib, but for me it basically defines my life. I have moved around a lot, so I don�t have any old friends, my family are all very busy with their own families, so they don�t have time for me, and my spiritual gifts in the church is to do all the behind the scenes stuff where you are all alone. I just don�t have anyone in my life, and it is extremely difficult to get through each day. The only answer I have for you is finding that special someone in your life. I know the standard answer, as you have pointed out, is to find something to do that makes you happy. I have done many things in my life, and I can tell you that they are only a distraction, not a substitute for friendship and love. All the �cures� that people have are only good for a season, but they soon lose their enjoyment. The frustrating part is that if people find out that you are lonely, they usually run away. I think Ecclesiastes sums it up the best. You can try all the pleasures of this world, but what it all comes down to is God, enjoying the fruit of your labors, and marriage. That is what true happiness is all about. Ecclesiastes 9:7-9 (NASB) 7 Go then, eat your bread in happiness and drink your wine with a cheerful heart; for God has already approved your works. 8 Let your clothes be white all the time, and let not oil be lacking on your head. 9 Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 13 Aug, 2011 08:53 PM I have select few Christian friends that I socialize with. We go to movies and out to eat, church functions and like yesterday I went to the State Fair. I also have a friend I met online that I talk with on the phone. People , we all need People special friends and of Course Family members, I have that also. Praise God! Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 14 Aug, 2011 12:00 AM I think we all experience moments, weeks or even months of loneliness at times. The key issue out side of finding your mate, is fellowship and that is why the bible said not to forsake the fellowship of each other. God hears you when you cry out to him for a mate and it I believe he guides us to be around places or people where we might find one. The reason so many of us came to this site. Until you find that mate, it is good to have a balance of a social life outside of all the bible study and discipleship. Most of us need some recreational time like a photography group, cooking group, bike riding, bird watchers or something of interest to you where you could meet other people and enjoy the activity with them. Jesus went fishing, hung out at people's houses and socialized too. It's a balance and without that, we can feel very lonely. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 14 Aug, 2011 03:36 AM Usually when I get lonely, I like to get out of my room and walk the track at the gym across the street and pray usually if I can't say anything else and my thoughts are getting the best of me and just swirling I'll say "Jesus, help me" and I start to settle down. I can also look at the Arizona sunset and desert stuff while walking too, which wouldn't otherwise be noticed. Then I go in and shoothoops and usually some one will start a basketball game. Shooting hoops is therapeutic for me too, but only after the big stuff is taken care of. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 14 Aug, 2011 06:13 AM Yes, making friends and hanging out with family is very important, and a good way to fight loneliness. But, for many of us that is not an option. It is true that we should not forsake the fellowship of fellow believers, but what that usually means is that you end up with �church friends�. And by �church friends� I mean people you get to know and spend time with during the few hours you are at church, but you never see them anywhere else. It�s not much of a true friendship if you only see them for a few minutes every weekend. And joeysings, as I have said before, doing activities is only a distraction, it�s not a substitute. It will help you out for a few weeks or months, but then the enjoyment will fade. One needs to have a steady friendship in their lives, someone they can count on to be there for them. If you take a look at Rahab38 situation, she is a missionary, and I can tell you from experience, people will rarely become your true friend. Most people get to know you because they want something from you. True, she is there to minister to people, but who is going to be there to minister to her. Being a missionary can be a very lonely experience. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 14 Aug, 2011 12:15 PM You have gotten some good advice from others. When I feel lonely I keep myself busy so I don't end up throwing a full-blow pity party for myself. My things I use to keep myself busy may not be the same as others so I won't list them. The other thing that helps me personally is to do things for others. To reach out to others -- doesn't matter if they are lonely or not. If I can get outside myself and be Jesus to someone then that helps with the lonliness. None of this makes the loniliness go away, mind you. But it helps. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 14 Aug, 2011 09:58 PM It's only lonely if you're not okay with being alone. So just try to find a way with genuinly being okay with it. God will show you how. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 15 Aug, 2011 02:28 AM Boy this is a good topic, and its good to see your hearts...it inspires me to share mine. The time is 4:15am central standard time. This is the time of day in which I am up and will be so until 6-7. You see I work nights, and have been doing so for over two years. At work I am the only person in the bulding for about 8 hours. In begininning it wasnt so bad, however I live in a stoic German region of the US and its hard to make good Christian friends...you know the type that stick closer than a brother. So as you can imagine with e sleeping from about 6/7-2pm taking care of the kids from about 3-9 an than going to work the oppertunity for relationships is slim. I believe I am capable of making connections, but it kills me that I dont have very many oppertunities because I cant seem to get to where Christian brothers and sisters are. It kills me to see my kids grow up without a mom, because I simply cant get in proximity of a woman to even begin a relationship.... To maintain my sanity I try to be joyful by giving thanks for what I have been blessed with, and offer sacrafices of praise. But, it is truley not good for a person to be alone, and even though I can be content I hate my circumstances, and wish God would better them. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you cope with loneliness? Posted : 16 Aug, 2011 01:10 PM I've read through all your responses, and you offer a great deal of insight and encouragement. It struck me, today as I was on my way to the store that there is a correlation between feeling lonely and a failure to hope the situation will change any time soon. What are your thoughts? Post Reply

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