Author	Thread: Marriage Problems: Reasons Why Marriages Fail
Admin	Marriage Problems: Reasons Why Marriages Fail Posted : 2 Aug, 2011 03:13 AM Reasons why marriages fail: I've already somewhat mentioned this topic in one of my previous posts, but I decided to make a more detailed description in this one. I also thought it would be a good idea to put this topic by itself because I felt like it would catch the attention of quite a few more people this way. Well anyhow, the reason so many marriages keep failing is because of sin. The main problem (or sin) is called "want". I've said it before and I'll say it again...and this time I'm going to capitalize the words to hopefully get the attention of everyone: THERE IS A MAJOR DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "WANTING" AND "NEEDING" MARRIAGE! Carefully read the following well-known scripture from the book of Psalms: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." Did you notice the word "want"??? It's NEVER ok to simply "want" anything, but it's ALWAYS ok to "need" something. So, what's the difference??? To simply "want" anything means that it isn't actually "needed"...which means we won't love, honor, respect, or appreciate it properly. However, when we "need" something such as a spouse, car, job, or whatever...there's a far deeper sense of love, honor, respect, and appreciation toward it. Why??? Because it's "needed"!!! There's a major difference between "wanting" and "needing". Here's the question...Do we desire something or someone simply because we "want" it, or do we desire it because we "need" it??? Desiring because we "want" is sinful, but desiring because we "need" is righteous. You see, one of the reasons why so many marriages keep failing is because many people keep following the ridiculous belief that they should be independent of a spouse because they're told that God is supposedly all they need...OR...they're told that they should never come across as "needing someone" or "being desperate". Here's what I have to say: WHEN WILL WE FINALLY STOP PRETENDING AND SIMPLY BE HONEST WITH OURSELVES (AND OTHERS) AND ADMIT THAT WE GET LONELY SOMETIMES AND NEED SOMEONE'S LOVE AND SUPPORT??? Yes, God is able to provide all we need, but "He alone" is not all we need. Truth is, trying to live/be independent of a spouse is not only "prideful", but it also leads to the problem of unrighteously "wanting" to be married, instead of righteously "needing" to be married. Let me explain a few things that will hopefully put to silence all those who think I'm wrong or confused. Can God be my wife??? CERTAINLY NOT! Yes, God is able to provide the need, but "He" is not able to be my wife...and He does not intend for me to be independent of a spouse, or in other words, completely reliant upon Him. Read Genesis 2:18 which says... And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." This indicates that God acknowledged that man has spiritual needs, emotional needs, as well as physical needs. Therefore, man needed a helper, or someone to fill that void...which brings us to Genesis 2:21-22 which says... And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. As you can see, God provided the need. Now let me continue..... Wanting to be independent of a spouse is sinful for several reasons. One of the reasons is because being independent leaves the other person neglected many times. Sadly, many people within the church are actually failing God, because they seem to be doing many things to help out the church, their family members, and their friends...but they neglect their spouse/companion as if he or she is less important. Let me explain something very important: GOD EXPECTS US TO PUT OUR SPOUSE'S NEEDS "BEFORE" THE NEEDS OF FAMILY, FRIENDS, RELATIVES, AND EVEN THE CHURCH! As a matter of fact, if our spouse's spiritual, emotional, and physical needs don't have top priority over any and every other person's needs on this earth, then our priorities are NOT in the proper order! By the way, those who claim that serving the church should come first because "God" is suppose to come first, guess what??? God's Word says that if we can't properly manage our own marriage and/or home, then we have no business serving in the church! That's part of the reason those who are lost aren't coming to church...because they don't judge us by our words, they judge us by our actions...and all too often they look at the church and, sadly, can't tell the difference. I wasn't planning on saying this, but something Jesus said just came to mind..."If the salt has lost its flavor, with what shall it be salted?" Most of us know what the rest of that scripture says. I'm sorry if I've stepped on anyone's toes by saying these things, but I'm NOT sorry for the truth...and if I don't give the truth, God will hold me accountable. By the way, there's another reason why wanting to be independent of a spouse is a sin. You see, the idea of being independent of a spouse is unloving, uncaring, and selfish...because it leads to an attitude of "I want you, but I don't need you." That kind of attitude results in major problems and/or divorce. Fact is, unless a man and a woman need each other, they will not love and care for one another as deeply as they should. Just being honest, unless a young lady "needs" me spiritually, emotionally, as well as physically, then I don't need to be with her...nor do I believe God would approve of me being her husband. God wants me to have a wife who will treat me right, and the only type of young lady who will ever treat me properly is someone who "needs" me. I'm NOT on this dating site to find a woman who "wants" me...I'm on here in hopes of finding a woman who "needs" me! WANTING MARRIAGE=LUST NEEDING MARRIAGE=LOVE "I don't need to be wanted...but I want to be needed!" ...or let me reword that a little... "I DON'T WANT TO BE WANTED...BUT I NEED TO BE NEEDED!" Fact is, I don't know where I might be 10 years from now.....who knows, I might be a pastor, a youth leader, a church leader.....after all, I've been running the sound equipment for worship service each week since back in 2009. That's partly why I've got to be careful about the woman I choose to be my life-long companion...because I need someone who is willing to be my wife no matter what. Unfortunately, I seem to be having a tough time finding someone like that. But at the very least, she will have to be willing to go to church on a weekly basis. Post Reply
View Profile History	Marriage Problems: Reasons Why Marriages Fail Posted : 2 Aug, 2011 03:29 AM If anyone wonders how important marriage issues are to me...well, guess what??? You see what time I started on this forum post??? LOOK WHAT TIME IT IS NOW!!! About 6:20a.m. That's right, I was in bed and couldn't get to sleep, so I kept thinking about this issue to do with marriage until I figured out what I needed to say. Hopefully someone gets something good out of it. Anyway, I hope everyone likes it. :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Marriage Problems: Reasons Why Marriages Fail Posted : 2 Aug, 2011 03:43 AM Oh goodness...everyone will think I lied in my previous post about what time it is...LOL :) I just realized that it didn't display the correct time for some reason...maybe because I took so long to finish thinking about what I needed to say...oh well. That's ok...God knows I'm not lying about the time and that's what matters most anyhow. :) It's probably going to display the wrong time again...LOL :) Oh well, it doesn't matter...I'm sleep deprived anyway, so I could care less anyhow. ROFL :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Marriage Problems: Reasons Why Marriages Fail Posted : 2 Aug, 2011 07:51 AM Many Marriages fail, because of Financial difficulties and for extra marital affairs. Yes, that falls under Sins. However, we know everyone that marries are not Christians and even Christian marriages fail. Christian radio views that divorce Rates are high in the Church. I must admit, I did not read all of your post now but I will. lol :angel: Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Marriage Problems: Reasons Why Marriages Fail Posted : 2 Aug, 2011 08:28 AM Focus, the time shown is always 3 hours off for me, since I'm in the Eastern time zone. I think it is set to Pacific time. So, if it showed up as 3:30, you are probably at 6:30. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Marriage Problems: Reasons Why Marriages Fail Posted : 2 Aug, 2011 07:21 PM How many people who are in their Bible daily, in some form of discipleship group, and members of a Bible-teaching church get divorced? Very, very few. I'd even be willing to be that if you just looked at daily Bible reading, you'd see the exact same trend. We all know that the health of a marriage is dependent on the health of each spouse's relationship with God, so it would only make sense that couples that both read their Bibles regularly stay married. Post Reply
View Profile History	Marriage Problems: Reasons Why Marriages Fail Posted : 3 Aug, 2011 08:45 AM I am a member of a small Bible reading Church. We have counseling and Pastor teaches on honoring marriage and preaches against Divorce. There has been 8 divorces that I know of since 2003. Those are the people I know of. Not sure why the divorces happen but they do, even in the Churches. Maybe have to do with Wants instead of needs like this post says. Post Reply
Asher_Aurelius View Profile History	Marriage Problems: Reasons Why Marriages Fail Posted : 4 Aug, 2011 02:56 AM The stats about Christian marriage I remember a Bible Teacher saying that Christian rates about 1% lower. So no real difference. However a married couple that were Christian and weekly attended a pentecostal congregation, these dropped to 10%. Post Reply