I had to add this information about the "soulmate doctrine" that I mentioned in a previous forum post. The following story is a true story...and it's proof that the "soulmate doctrine" is a "satanic/false doctrine". Before ever trying out online dating, I was in a relationship that lasted from Mar. 2010 to Feb. 2011. Something happened in that relationship that proved what the real motives are behind the "soulmate doctrine". Let me explain something that happened in the relationship so that everyone who thinks I'm wrong will hopefully see the truth.
I met a certain young lady back in Feb. 2010 on Valentine's Day. A few weeks later, she and I were in a relationship. Anyway, things were going pretty good until far into the relationship when the young lady asked God for confirmation as to whether or not I was "the one" for her. She had previously told me that she was scared/nervous about being in a serious relationship...so I thought that was probably why she wanted to be certain that God approved. Here's part of the problem: I already had confirmation, and she knew about it...so as far as I'm concerned, her asking for additional confirmation was a mistake. If she had believed/trusted God the first time, then she wouldn't have needed to ask for more confirmation. But anyway, she told me that God said "YES". Now I'm sure many of you are probably thinking, "WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED???" Well, let me continue.....Instead of her using confirmation as a reason to open her heart and let go of her fears, she chose to use it as a weapon to control and/or manipulate the situation in a way that was selfish. She wasn't willing to kiss or even hold hands unless "she" was in the mood...and that created a major problem for me...mainly because my mom and dad's marriage ended as a result of a very similar problem. It also caused a problem because I didn't want to wait until after marriage to find out whether or not the young lady would still be that way toward being close. I'm not willing to wait that long for kissing/holding hands because I don't believe in divorce...and that kind of behavior would be unacceptable. I also knew that if simply kissing or holding hands was already a problem, then being intimate after marriage was going to be an even bigger problem! Fact is, God's Word says those things are NOT to be withheld from one another when married, unless we have permission from our spouse...but even if we have permission, it says that we are not to keep apart from one another for very long due to the fact that the enemy can tempt us to sin. That's not a suggestion...that is a command from God's Word! By the way, earlier when I was talking about kissing, I was basically referring to a simple kiss on the cheek. The relationship never even made it to the point of a "peck" on the lips...and as a matter of fact, that's what caused the relationship to end. I had waited about 10 months into the relationship before putting any pressure on the young lady about the kissing/holding hands. You can't ask for a guy with much more patience than that...and especially at my age! Needless to say, the relationship between the young lady and I ended. If she had simply used confirmation as a reason to open her heart and let go of her fears, then I believe the relationship would've worked out. I tried my best to reason with her...but she seemed to be one of those people that refuses to listen to reason. For any of the young ladies out there who don't already know this...we (guys) don't appreciate being controlled and/or manipulated in such ways...and a "true" man of God won't allow you to do so. But anyhow, I rest my case...the "soulmate doctrine" was inspired by satan and his demons!
I find it very sad that so many people these days are following the soulmate doctrine. Fact is, even I fell victim to the belief in soulmates. I'm so glad I discovered that it's a false doctrine. I've been doing some thinking...and I've realized that one of the reasons it's a false doctrine is simply because it doesn't involve having faith that God will provide. By the way, I've heard of numerous people who said they had confirmation from God about someone being their "soulmate" or "the one"...and just like my situation, THOSE INDIVIDUALS AREN'T TOGETHER ANYMORE EITHER! I guess it's like the pastor has said before...sometimes people can have God and satan confused with each other. Fact is, the soulmate doctrine seems harmless, and even godly...but nothing could be farther from the truth. By the way, I never asked God if the young lady I mentioned earlier was my "soulmate" or "the one"...I prayed and asked God something totally different...something that involved a miracle. The miracle only took place because I believed the Word of God without doubting. Do I still have that depth of faith??? NO!!! My faith crashed as a result of many attacks from satan and from family members...which is why I'm on this site seeking to find a wife. I need someone to help me...before it's too late! I don't know what's happening to my faith now. I'm not gonna lie, in some ways I just wanna quit going to church and everything. :(
I decided to add this information because it also proves that the previously mentioned "soulmate doctrine" is a false doctrine. Fact is, people are using the soulmate doctrine in another way that isn't right. They're using it to try to "explain away" the sin of leaving their spouse. They use the soulmate doctrine as an excuse to leave and/or divorce their spouse by saying that God told them it was ok...OR...they say that they married the wrong person, or that God has someone else ("soulmate") for them. For those who don't already know, the Word of God only mentions one sin that is good enough grounds for a divorce...so if anyone says God told them it was ok to leave their spouse due to some other reason, then guess what??? THEY LIED!!! But anyway, I added this because it's even more proof that the soulmate doctrine is an idea inspired by satan. As a matter of fact, that's partly why the soulmate doctrine has become so popular with people these days...including many who go to church...because scripture says that many people will follow satanic/false doctrines in the last days. Read 1st Timothy chapter 4 verses 1 and 2...which says:
(1) But the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some in the church will turn away from Christ and become eager followers of teachers with devil-inspired ideas. (2) These teachers will tell lies with straight faces and do it so often that their consciences won't even bother them.
For those of you who are wondering, the above verses were taken from "The Living Bible" translation...and if someone has a problem with that translation of the bible, then they can go argue with God about it. Fact is, back in 2009, I asked God to provide me with a bible that was easier to understand than the KJV and NKJV versions...and 3 days later, "The Living Bible" translation is what showed up. When I prayed, I didn't know where, when, how, or even what translation of the bible would be provided...but I asked God to provide and simply waited for it...because I believed and knew it was coming! :) And just as I figured, IT SHOWED UP, PRAISE GOD!!! :) Sadly though, as I mentioned in the previous post, I no longer have that depth of faith. I came under spiritual attack, and my faith slowly crashed. I went through a spiritual battle within my mind that was more than I could handle on my own without losing my faith. I needed the spiritual and emotional support of a wife at the time...but I didn't have a wife, and I still don't. I can't spiritually stand by myself...and that's part of the reason I need a wife. I've been seeking to find a wife for a while now, but I just can't seem to find a young lady who is willing to be there for me. :( But anyway, all I can do now is hope that she shows up soon.
Don't mean to be mean, but from how I read the thread post, she didn't get confirmation herself from God, but you got confirmation from God. Perhaps she didn't get confirmation herself.
Also I know encouraging believes who have been certain about confirmation themselves - yet it didn't workout, they themselves ending it. So how do you get confirmation?
Yes I agree that the soulmates are more about fairytale endings. Hey and its nice to think that God created a person that is right for us. But people believe many things that seem to be more cultural than anything else.
You wanted to know how I got confirmation. Well, it involved a prayer of faith without doubting. I asked God to let me meet the person in a specific way...kinda like what Abraham's servant did. Anyhow, I asked God to let me meet whoever He wanted me to be with on Valentine's Day...and believe it or not, IT HAPPENED!!!
I'm still not 100 percent sure what needed to have been done with that situation...but I tried my best. It wasn't simply a problem to do with me not being willing to wait for kissing/holding hands...it was a situation where she was ok with doing those things, but only if "she" was in the mood...and that's just plain selfish. You just don't realize the fine little details about the situation. Well anyhow, I'll explain a little more about it so maybe you'll be able to have a better understanding. The young lady was a year older than myself (I'm 23). Anyhow, I took off early from work many different times to spend time with her because she wanted to come over to the house and spend time with me...so she was obviously more important to me than how much money I could make. She and I spent countless hours together. I also bought her the most expensive pieces of jewelry that I've ever bought for any young lady. The proof of my love was all over the place...all anyone had to do was look for it. Sadly, the young lady ended the relationship before it ever reached the point of giving each other a "peck" on the lips. She and I had been seeing each other about 2 or 3 days each week for almost a year. Anyone willing to wait that long for a kiss on the lips is a "keeper" as far as I'm concerned...and especially these days! Oh, I just remembered, you said something about being willing to wait for the kissing. I probably would've been willing to wait until marriage for a "peck" on the lips if it hadn't been for the fact that she told my sister-in-law that she wasn't sure about being married even if we kept seeing each other for an additional year...and this happened about a week before the relationship fell apart. When I found out that she wasn't anymore serious about me than that, I decided it was time to basically let the young lady know that she needed to make up her mind about me...so in a sense, I kinda put some pressure on her about the situation because I didn't see any point in keeping on seeing her for another year unless she was serious enough about me to kiss. I probably wouldn't have put that kinda pressure on her except for the fact that both of us already had confirmation from God. As far as I'm concerned, she should've been willing to take that step of faith for the benefit of the relationship. It wasn't a matter of her not trusting "me"...it was a matter of her not trusting God. I even asked her what the major problem was behind her not wanting to kiss on the lips, but she wasn't willing to tell me. Needless to say, that gave me another reason to start giving up on the relationship, because she still didn't trust me enough to communicate and explain what the real problem was...and this also indicated to me that she didn't trust the confirmation that either of us had from God. However, she did tell me that part of the reason she didn't want to kiss is because she didn't want to end up having sex. I will say this, if she was having feelings for me that were that strong, then why on earth would she act so afraid of being in a serious relationship...or why would she run from marriage??? IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE GOOD SENSE! Another thing, I told her about personal issues that I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing with just anyone...so I obviously trusted her on that kinda level even though she wouldn't trust me. Here's the really sad part, the young lady is probably looking back now and wishing that she hadn't thrown it all away over something so ridiculous. The reason I say that is mainly because she told me that I was better than anyone she had ever been with before. Fact is, she didn't even need to tell me that, because I already figured that much. Am I saying I'm perfect??? NO! But I try to conduct myself alot better than most guys my age.
One final thing, in addition to all that I mentioned about her earlier, the young lady had a slight speech impairment and was also overweight...BUT I STILL LOVED HER! :) If that isn't enough proof that I loved her, then nothing ever will be! For the most part, she was a wonderful young lady, other than the fact that she wasn't willing to be serious about me...plus she seemed to have a rather short fuse at times.
But anyway, that's all I needed to say for now. Maybe you could pray for her...and also for me.
Thanks for clearing some things up for me in your story here.
Seems I was wrong about you having Patience, at your age so young of man, I feel you were very Patient.
This lady just didn't seem to have the same feelings for You as you had for her. She maybe wasnt really Inlove.
And, a Couple should be able to talk about everything from A-Z. If they are going to be Married, then they should discuss everything. Sex should be at top of the List. Because it
is important, even if people think it does not come First.
Kissing could make a woman want to have Sex, but that does not mean she loves the guy. Those are emotions that arise, especially in Young adults.
About the Lady physical appearance and speech. I feel if you really love a woman, men should look over those type of things. However, that does not always happen. Looks are Very important to Many.
A lot of women and Men alike have short fuses. lol
Not a good thing though, I know.
I will pray of you and she. Maybe this will all work out for the Good. Be Encouraged we can only do what we can do.
It takes Two people to make Any relationship Work.
