Say you were interested in dating or getting to know someone. And, you caught that person in a lie. Would you give them another chance ? Why or Why not? How many
A lie is a mis-representation of truth or a with holding of the whole truth. which is it in this circumstance? Are you able to discuss or detail this any further?
Last night, I finally responded to a male believer, who is associated with the same ministry as I am. He had made a representation to me, as well as his wife and the overall leader of the ministry.. That representation was a lie and I did the right thing, I wrote directly to him stating that it was a lie. More on that in this post as it rolls out.
My point is this. God would prefer that we go directly to the person who has lied to us and immediately confront hem directly and with meekness, after all everyone lies and the bible says that directly. If that process fails and it really is the case that our perceptions that a lie was committed are accurate, it is our responsibility to find someone else who can assess the circumstances, anyone "neutral" and part of the Body of Christ.
So, in short, I have not heard that you took the first step Angel. Would you allow us who are reading about this lie to read that you did confront the person and what the results were? Then, perhaps, we could get involved and offer some sane, sound advice based on the word of God. And that would be a good thing for everyone.
Any circumstance that challenges us, a circumstance that we take control of and act on is in fact "taking a risk", a potential circumstance that allows growth in our lives...God loves personal growth, both in our own lives and the lives of others...that is still true with regard to the body of Christ and our readers here are, I believe, members of the body of Christ.
you said to go directly to the person and confront them. Well, I tried...but I quickly realized that I couldn't send you a message because of the age limitations...so I figured this was my only other option. Hopefully this will be seen as a testimony of my character. Anyhow, I noticed one of your posts where you seemed to suggest that a person should learn to be completely independent of a spouse before considering marriage...and that God is all they need. Well, maybe that's not what you meant...but if it is, I don't agree with that view. Parts of it, yes...but most of it, no. I believe that view goes against what God would desire. I'll make an additional post explaining the meaning behind what I just said.
First of all, God is NOT able to be a wife to me...that is a void in my life that can NEVER be filled by God. Yes, God can provide a wife for me (or a spouse for someone else), but "He" is NOT able to be my wife. Secondly, the idea of waiting until we can make it all on our own is unloving, uncaring, and selfish...because it leads to an attitude of "I want you, but I don't need you." That kind of attitude usually results in divorce...because unless a man and a woman "need" each other, they will not love one another as deeply as they should. As I said before, the result is divorce...and there's simply no "if, ands, or buts" about it. It all comes back to the scripture that says, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. Notice this verse says "want". God is ok with us needing something...but He's not ok with us wanting something. There's a major difference between "wanting" and "needing" a partner. Please understand that I'm NOT trying to insult or fight against you...I'm only trying to fight against the lies/deceptions of satan and his demons. :) Marriage is very important to me...and it has been ever since I was old enough to remember things. I have to defend it...it's my duty! :)
First, what I have said was about Lord Jesus Christ, not God. Jesus is our mediator to God, Jesus suffered it all for us, Jesus can relate to our infirmity, our human condition, that we get lonely, that we have passion, that we have hunger, OK?
Going from single to married, regardless of age, is a rite of passage, oh, we can get married easily if we want to and I would like to think that we all have sense enough to be ready for a life long commitment, but then again look at my life...after a number of years of being a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, "falling away", I married an unbeliever, contrary to the bible. Was she protected by God during those years, of course. It was, however, not the best choice for me, I would not recommend it. And it ended 10 years later. So, I have started over, I am 57.
I have been your age. I am going to tell you and the viewing audience my story here, maybe having read it you can relate to a lot of it, maybe not, I am a risk taken, so here goes:
In 1976, I was engaged. i had been involved in an organization, a ministry called The Way International..it's still around, you will find a whole lot of talk about it being a cult. As a matter of fact, there is a website, dedicated to that very idea, its' called "Greasespot Cafe" and I am even on there fro time to time, my handle is "mchud11", have a look sometime.
So, its 1976, I had been volunteering full time for two years by that time. I would have been very early 20's. I was at the time in a leadership program called "the Fellow Laborers of Ohio". At that time, I hadn't had sexual relations for over two years, I was very much in control of my passions, that due to a lot of speaking in tongues and reading and being taught the word of God. now, I need/want to point something out, The Way taught me a lot about God, but they did not emphasize enough about having a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. I take full responsibility for that, after all the bible does say we are responsible for individually knowing the whole word of God.
So, I was in full control of myself, sexually, had nocturnal emmiss@@ns every once I a while. I was very much in love with a woman, her name was Sue. We had even started pre-marital counseling. We would have been married by the end of the year. My heart was oh, so very pure toward God. I didn't have a problem with self-pleasure...(do see my recent post on the "M' word in biblical studies), I just plain loved Sue with a pure love, nothing really in it for me, no self-centeredness, I just wanted to love her as she was. I can honestly say, because of my background (unbeliever parents), I didn't have a clue what marriage was really about.
In the Fellow Laborers program, there were like 35 of us, single men, single women, married couples.. One night, while I was painting a was in the state co-ordinators home, painting a wall, the program's men's coordinator and the women's coordinator got on a room to room intercom system, they began to joke with me, I did not know it was a joke at the time, I was a shy type, reserved...anyway they said on the intercom that they had heard that I was seen being out late, sort of "peeping, being a peeping Tom" at the married couples apartments, that I did that in order to listen to them having sex....wow, didn't handle that well at all, I must say...I felt my heart crush internally, like when you accidentally drop a Christmas tree decoration on the floor, it shatters in a million pieces. I know now that was called pain, emotional pain, a real first for me. I immediately started to cry, anguished cry, I started to feel numb while crying, I felt like a crying, sobbing Robot. Where I was in my walk with regard to going to someone who had hurt me was all mental assent, as in I had been taught to go to the source of the pain, in this situation that man and woman, BUT it hadn't sunk in to the point where I believed it. I did not believe it, because I never did approach them. I made a very big mistake in not approaching them, I lost my ministry, I lost the girl, I could not function, I got sent home.
Fast forward, 30 some years. The Way International self destructed in the mid 1980's, oh they are around as a ministry, but in the mid 1980's, some 80,000 individuals who were associated with the ministry left, almost over night, sort of like in Stars Wars when Alderon gets blown up by the death star, that is not however part of this story. I wasn't in the ministry at the time all heck broke loose.
By the 2008's, I had been married some 10 years and divorced, not cracked a bible since the late 70's, attended no church, nothing but nothing Christian wise. I had escaped death a few times because I was an utter maniac on a motorcycle, smoked so much weed that I am not sure how to measure it, had had sex with more women than I can list now, even some men, been in BDSM, had paid a whole lot of money to, well you know, been there and done that. I had made a lot of money, worked at Microsoft a couple times, worked in Silicon Valley and was an expert in my field. A lot of great stuff, a whole lot of bad stuff, a prime condo in West Hollywood, but had had to declare bankruptcy...so, way more to say, but I think you get the idea.
Around 2006, I started to venture into a relationship with Jesus Christ and God. I corresponded with an older brother in Christ from time to time. A very painful process, severe pain from depression, some of numbed by weed, thank God no alcohol or I would be dead and you wouldn't be reading this.
Ok, now..2011. I am on social security disability. I have two cats. I have my physical needs met, no weed, so sex, no porn, very little alcohol, I have my room mate bob, a convicted felon from Domestic Abuse...life is really, really good right now. definitely some growing pains, the kind where a wall is in front of me, I chip away at it, move through it...and the good news is there is another wall right in front of me and it's even bigger....that, focusontheunssen, is what living is all about, growth, renewing the mind, disrupting the works of satan in my life and the lives of others I come in contact with, teaching the word, reaching out to cracks heads, meth heads, bikers, the sexually dependent, gang bangers, guys with tattoo's on their necks that say "loser" or "el lobos"... all right?
AH, we come to the point of my elttet to you and those who read this, big ball of wax....
Dependency - being dependent on the Lord Jesus Christ and God to meet all of my needs, spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical. I can't meet my needs, sometimes am not even sure what my needs are, but the Lord knows, he has been there, 2,000 years before I was born. The Lord brings things and people to me, sit them right in front of me. Relations with others come right out of the blue, like bob, like you. the more I depend on the Lord, the better I feel, the more energy I have, the more I accomplish, the faster grow...
In dependency - as I grow in dependency on the Lord, the more I am independent, fewer disruptions, less reliance on more mature Christians than I, more understanding of what the Lord asks me to do, more understanding of what the Lord tells me to do.
Interdependency - the more I grow in independency, the better equipped I am to develop deeper relationships with others, relationships that are mutual, relationships were I watch you and you watch me in the good behaviors and the bad behavior and we feedback the good, the bad and the ugly to each other because we both put the Lord first in out lives, we have mutual concern for each other's growth and development, we are accountable to each other...if am doing all the cleaning in my apartment for instance, at some point I just let it, I let those dishes stack up, I let the toilet bowl start a life form of its own, I allow bob to grow in the department, after all his cleaning standards are not my cleaning standards...i don't want to be an 'enabler" nor do i want to be "co-dependent'...yes, after 18 to 20days of dishes in the sink, I do mention to bob that I feel its his turn to do cleanup and he always does it...its just that the goal is we both change, he is a bit more like I am and I am a bit more like he is...
so, in short,,,interdependency is the building block of marriage...
