Author	Thread: WOW - Did I just learn something huge or what?
Admin	WOW - Did I just learn something huge or what? Posted : 18 Jul, 2011 11:20 AM Folks; I am experiencing a huge, phenomenal growth spurt in interpersonal relations. My mind is reeling. Here is the situation: I have this on again, off again relationship with this other Christian. It's a JOY/NIGHTMARE thing. We do like each others good points and hate each others weak points. I have unintentionally hurt her feelings, she has intentionally called me names. So, here is the unfolding lesson in communication...when she says "your delusional", I have to say"I feel hurt". I had been saying "when you say I am delusional, I feel hurt"...the difference is the use of the word "you"...in a tense situation where emotion is involved, negative emotion..my response has to not reference "you" under any circumstances. You, the reader may wonder, well how did this insight come about, pray tell...ah, well I have a male roommate, great, loving Christian guy with two kids, a felon...an issue with domestic abuse. In Colorado, domestic abuse is an automatic 35 week program, that is paid for by the offender. bob, lets call him bob and talk about everything...so, I said to bob...so, bob, what is your take on the thing that happened last night when wendy, lets call her wendy, came by last night for dinner with me? See what I did there? I acknowledged that I had an issue by asking someone to be honest with me, not only that, but asked him to hold me accountable for my behavior toward wendy...see wendy is his friend too. So, bob starts right in on me, giving me the best advice I have had in YEARS...WOW... So bottom line: I have to be the example to move the relationship forward. I have to be self-controlled. I have to be the leader. I have to not use the word "you" when the tough stuff starts flying. amazing, michael chudzinski Post Reply
View Profile History	WOW - Did I just learn something huge or what? Posted : 18 Jul, 2011 01:52 PM So bottom line: I have to be the example to move the relationship forward. I have to be self-controlled. I have to be the leader. I have to not use the word "you" when the tough stuff starts flying. Yes, this is Correct.:laugh: If a man can not do that, I am gone!:waving: Post Reply
View Profile History	WOW - Did I just learn something huge or what? Posted : 18 Jul, 2011 04:28 PM LOL, thanks angel...seriously, I have read a lot of books on relationships, but TOTALLY practiced it wrong, real wrong...I am feeling very proud of myself for taking a chance and talking to bob about it... bless, michael Post Reply
View Profile History	WOW - Did I just learn something huge or what? Posted : 19 Jul, 2011 09:33 AM Experienceis the Best teacher. You can not learn some things about Romance in a Book. I am suprised to see how many Old people still do not know what Romance is :laugh: Post Reply