Author	Thread: Men to the chase or ladies?
Asher_Aurelius View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 1 Jul, 2011 11:39 PM It may be that men are suppose to pursue ladies, but studies have shown that the majority of initiations are made women not men; as many as 2 out of 3. If by initiating you mean introducing yourself and saying hello, this is not what is meant by initiating. However if initiation is a smile, glance, fluttering of the eyes - whether intentional or not, men react to these cues. And it seems that woman are the primary initiators. My point isn't that either should change their patterns, but the dance of love has many subtleties, I am beginning to wonder if in Christian circles there is a naivety in the courting dance. There seems to be an attitude that there is a soul-mate for me out there and that God will make it happen (love) and I need to be passive and focus on God not on finding a mate. I do not understand why we are suppose to be passive, and how being passive honours God. And that there is an aspect where essentially Christians need to learn lure prey. Would appreciate other peoples thoughts. Post Reply
i_live_in_canada View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 1 Jul, 2011 11:57 PM In the bible people would go find a wife. What's wrong with doing the foot work. Post Reply
View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 2 Jul, 2011 07:11 AM What's wrong with giving subtle hints, like laying at our feet while we are asleep and covering yourself with our cloak. I guess men pursuing women is more Biblical, you know, like Sampson and Delilah or David and Bathsheba. The real truth is that most of the time the father found a wife for his son. You really can�t use the Bible to show how to go about finding someone in todays world. Post Reply
Asher_Aurelius View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 2 Jul, 2011 02:34 PM I agree with you Canada, but does pursuing mean beating them over the head with a club? Why shouldn't ladies attempt to keep the interest of their pursuer? Post Reply
Asher_Aurelius View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 2 Jul, 2011 02:39 PM Yes I agree Cobbler, traditionally the parents would typically find a wife, in the 19th century this changed and and the children started seeking their match. Supposedly (have not looked into this aspect to much) when the parents looked for a spouse for their children they had to clear their choice with them (the children had veto powers). When the kids started choosing their own the veto moved to their parents - this is where the tradition of asking the parents for permission. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 02:05 AM @ Asher I agree, especially in these times where there seems like no real place for singles to connect, there is no protocol governing courtship rituals, and you have the blind leading the blind, I feel it would be nice for a woman to give me a singnal that she is interested. Post Reply
View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 07:07 AM Many women do not have a problem showing a man she has interest in him. She does not have to pursue him. He then can pursue her, if he is interested in her. Many maybe hesitate because Online dating is difficult. She knows nothing about you other than whats on a Profile and that maybe be very little. Nothing wrong with a lady showing her interest frist. Biblically speaking, He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord, Proverbs 18:22 kjv. So, Christian women is not suppose to Pursue. Post Reply
View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 08:29 AM He who finds a wife, finds a good thing I did a study on the word find used in this verse. It has the sense more of stumbling upon rather than a careful search. It would be similar to finding a penny on the ground, you didn�t look for it, you just found it. I don�t think you can find anywhere in the Bible where it states that men are to pursue women. The fact that women prefer men to pursue them is understandable, but that is not necessarily Biblical. Angleforlove, there are plenty of women who feel that even showing an interest in a guy is the same as pursuit, and therefore wrong. They feel that they should just sit around like a bump on the log until someone comes up and asks them out. Just look at how many times we argue about whether or not to send the first email. There are many who feel that it would be perceived as pursuing him. All we men are really asking is for a woman to show a little interest in us, not necessarily to pursue the relationship. Just let us know that there MIGHT be something. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 10:48 AM I agree with everyone who says that a girl should at least give the guy a CLUE that his pursuit would be accepted. But how can a girl show she is interested? What are some clues that you guys would pick up on? I'm a bit at a loss in this area. Post Reply
Asher_Aurelius View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 02:57 PM Cobbler, I have not done a personal study on the issue, but what I do have is my experience and sense that it is the right thing to do. What exactly is the right thing to do? To be active about it. Biblically there was Ruth (forgive me if that is the wrong reference) who actively pursued her hubby and of course there was Israel - Jacob at time who was told to go to their homeland and find a wife ... not let a wife come to you. So I guess I am agreeing that men do not necessarily need to be the active pursuer. Post Reply
Asher_Aurelius View Profile History	Men to the chase or ladies? Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 03:03 PM To Bible Piano Gal, when it comes to online people can see when you check your profile, you can message them, even instant message. Why not? Beyond this in the realm of personal interaction there is the dance of intimacy. Post Reply

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