Author	Thread: I allowed my heart to be conquered, only to be shattered...
Admin	I allowed my heart to be conquered, only to be shattered... Posted : 20 Jun, 2011 05:08 PM I can't lie and say I was inlove with him (no, i didn't love him, but i had feelings for him) but i cared for him so... Thing is, i still think of him as a fine man, a godly man and a man of great respect... i just need to let this out i suppose... I met him here on the dating site some months ago but for reasons i told him we can only be friends (making it clear why) but we would constantly text, and talk on yahoo messenger and he would say things like "if I had a woman like you as my wife i'd be the happiest man" and thingsof the like... i would tell him "don't tease me so, cos ill fall inlove with you" hed say "but i mean it, you are a jewel"... I would tell him time and time again (really to remind myself) we shall only be friends, but the way he treated me, his character, love for the lord, just who he is began to melt my heart... i'd ask him questions about marriage and personal questions hed answer, hed ask me the same thing i'd answer... i began to fall for him slowly... he would say "only thing stopping us is - - (not gonna say) from being together if we could"... A few weeks ago i couldn't contain myself i allowed my heart to let go feelings for him, it was a free like moment... i took my feelings (i've never felt before) seriously that i asked my parents for their blessing/permission to let him know my feelings... my daddy said yes but had a feeling "mija... I have a bad feeling hes going to break your heart... are you sure he is interested in you" I said "oh yes daddy without a doubt, he says what he means, he is THAT kind of man... i wouldn't tell him my feelings without being certain silly!" sigh... :( I decided to tell him my feelings cos i was the one tosay we could only be friends... so... i took a week to fast/pray... then last week i had an idea to surprise him by publicly telling him via my profile he has conquered my heart... i choose him. Oh it was romantic that guys messaged me saying "oh, he beat us to you", my dad was pleased and even said "i wont be surprised if he comes here this week", i was so happy... after he read it he didn't say anything to my surprise but ok thats fine hes in shock, and busy with ministry things no problem he'll let me know soon... then i had to ask him what he thought (a red flag was up and alarm sounded in my heart)... we spoke daily for a few days... then today he TEXTED me and said after much prayerhes not the man for me butwould like to remain friends... it felt like a brick hit me in the chest... I just texted "ok" back. what else was i to say??? I felt humiliated, lead on, i trusted him he was the one i chose, for i thought he wanted me, but i was unsure then when i finally knew it was he who i wanted... i was put to a hault... butok fine... he rejected me though now i'm confused from the way he treated and spoke toe me in the past... but what made me feel worthless, like a pearl thrown to the side was that he TEXTED me no... not a phone call or an email... but a casual text... oh my heart shattered... i told him all of this after the "ok" text, of course he was sorry i know he was hes very honest... but... oh how i wanted him. i thought he wanted me... i'm so confused and hurt... i don't know whatto think... if i didn't think he was serious about me why would i write suc things i had on my profile to him publicly (via profile) and romantically if i didn't think hed say yes to my changeof heart toward him??? I don't know what to think... oh... i've never felt this pain before in all my life (25 years of being single)... i've guarded my heart DEEPLY until i met him, i allowed my heart to open to what he told me, treated me, who he was... then i was said no too (which hnestly i can accept, i'm a woman i can.) via text (i can't accept... i felt worthless and humiliated cos he sent a no via text). sigh... thing is i still care for him he deserves such happiness and blessings and a wonderful wife... but idon't understand... i'm confused... i encourage men to not be romantic (even in a teasing manner) for women like me can take it to heart, for we can believe what you say even if you don't mean it... i'm one who says words and mean it... have feelin behind it... i want to be treated the same. Hes a wonderful man, i still wan the best for him... i just never want to be lead on like this ever again... and if i'm going to be rejected (hey thats life!) please... if i'm worth something to your friendship. of some value...please... not via text. Post Reply
View Profile History	I allowed my heart to be conquered, only to be shattered... Posted : 20 Jun, 2011 05:37 PM Lilo, How many sections are you going to post this in? Are you hoping "he" will see it and feel guilty? *just asking* Post Reply
View Profile History	I allowed my heart to be conquered, only to be shattered... Posted : 21 Jun, 2011 05:22 PM 1987: If you really look into what I wrote you will see that not only have I posted this in the broken heart section (which I was hurt of course) but in this advice column because... If you read it seriously you will come to the advice of: Watch what you say. Words carry a weight. If you have nothing to support what you say, to back it up. Don't speak. Simple. may my situation be an example on what not to do/what to do. Post Reply
View Profile History	I allowed my heart to be conquered, only to be shattered... Posted : 21 Jun, 2011 05:24 PM Also, he can't see this as hes not active on the Site. i'm not one to make someone I cared for feel "guilty" I point blank tell him how I feel and he can run with it or not! I posted this to seek not only advice but that people can learn from my situation Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	I allowed my heart to be conquered, only to be shattered... Posted : 24 Jun, 2011 02:10 AM I hear your pain Lilo, it truly sounds like he duped you, if he did why?? I guess it wont do to stop in your hurt. That pain comes and goes as long as you are around other ppl, heck to truly love God, causes us to go though seasons of that...(sigh) :) I guess we can b thanful he stopped when he did. I guess thats the problem with relationships that have no close proximity...how do we ever know if we are loved unless we see it? Post Reply
EVANGELISTCLEMSY View Profile History	I allowed my heart to be conquered, only to be shattered... Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 12:53 AM My dear lilo....Don't be sad, I know that it must hurt badly,especially when emotions are involved but-God knows it all n... You must remember this...that the psalmist in the WORD of God says this so many times....''you should PUT YOUR TRUST IN THE LORD''...cos He will not fail you...but man may fail you...God created the heavens and the earth...the sea,trees and everything you can think of in it...and He created YOU...so He knows the best for you because His will for you is of GOOD and not of EVIL...so ''SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS AND EVERYTHING WOULD BE ADDED UNTO YOU''..my dear it says ''EVERYTHING''... believe and TRUST in the Lord...and He will supply all your needs in His riches in glory.. Post Reply
EVANGELISTCLEMSY View Profile History	I allowed my heart to be conquered, only to be shattered... Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 12:53 AM My dear lilo....Don't be sad, I know that it must hurt badly,especially when emotions are involved but-God knows it all n... You must remember this...that the psalmist in the WORD of God says this so many times....''you should PUT YOUR TRUST IN THE LORD''...cos He will not fail you...but man may fail you...God created the heavens and the earth...the sea,trees and everything you can think of in it...and He created YOU...so He knows the best for you because His will for you is of GOOD and not of EVIL...so ''SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS AND EVERYTHING WOULD BE ADDED UNTO YOU''..my dear it says ''EVERYTHING''... believe and TRUST in the Lord...and He will supply all your needs in His riches in glory.. Post Reply
annma View Profile History	I allowed my heart to be conquered, only to be shattered... Posted : 27 Jun, 2011 03:57 AM I'm so sorry Lilo that your heart is breaking and that you are experiencing so much pain right now... The only thing i can tell you is to feel the pain and not shut it out and also pray about it...Another thing you can do is to talk about it as much as you can everytime if you can just to get it out of your system... Find a friend you can talk to who will genuinely listen and comfort you but mostly all your comfort is with the Lord, ask him to heal your heart, pray and read the Bible too and hang aorund lively people...it dulls the pain but doesnt take it away... You will need to live through the pain so that you can be completely free of it...its not easy but if you need to talk to someone, you can talk to me... May the Lord heal your heart and also comfort you. Be blessed Post Reply
View Profile History	I allowed my heart to be conquered, only to be shattered... Posted : 8 Jul, 2011 09:32 PM we go through some hard stuff in life, mainly because at some point we rush ahead of God. and i am guilty of such hastily attitude. we think that because everything is so good,its when we think He is the one for us. I know how hard and at one point it sounds humiliating. But remember everything works for good to those who love the Lord. We dont make mistakes rather its lessons we learn so that in the future we will not commit the same mistake. Patience is a virtue we need to learn, and it can only be achieve when we learn to come to God,and allow Him to domain our decision. Broken hearts will heal Lilo, allow God to use that for His glory.He will give you your heart desire according to His will and riches in Heaven. Abide in Him and in His beautiful time He will bless you with an honorable man. Our pains lead us to the cross thats the best thing about being hurt.... we cling upon God. Godbless u Post Reply