Author	Thread: Choice vs. Feeling
Admin	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 03:11 AM Which do you think comes first, choosing to love someone, or the feeling of love? Do you feel love because of someone�s actions, or do you choose to show love because you feel like it? Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 9 Dec, 2010 08:04 AM While I admire your friend's creativity, I'm pretty sure that sounds like it crosses the line. A lot. I'm glad you didn't take his suggestion. You never know what some time on her part and some boldness on yours could lead to though. Post Reply
anyann View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 9 Dec, 2010 11:45 AM some boldness and confidence + integrity, compassion, perseverance and humility will be hard to resist :) Post Reply
shepherdingking View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 9 Dec, 2010 03:04 PM God is love, He feels it. He created man as a recipient of His Love. As a result many are called, but few are chosen. The choice to love comes after the original feeling of love. A bull elk aproaches a heard of female elk and closely passes by one of them. The female looks as if she might kick him in the head as he makes his pass. So He does not chose her, though that was what he was feeling originally. The choice is birthed by feelings. :yay: Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 9 Dec, 2010 03:19 PM Feelings or attraction establish the potential for a relationship. Choice determines whether the relationship begins and continues. Post Reply
i_live_in_canada View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 9 Dec, 2010 03:47 PM Cobbler Judging from your posts it is obvious that you are having some dating problems. You sound like a smart man and your appearance is good. So what are you doing wrong? I am going to make a guess here and say it could have to do with your attitude. Not that there is any thing wrong with it but it's not getting you dates. Unfortunately as much as we want to be honest and mature it's a game. The better you are at playing it the more you can succeed. The best way to get some one interested is to appear like you are not trying to get them. It sounds dumb but the more interested and determined you are the more you will push them away. People need to get to know you a bit first before you try to set up a date. If you go to fast it can be a turn off. You speak of this lady that you are interested in but you have only spoken 20 minuets together over a few years? This is not enough time for her to decide if she likes you or not. Basically you need to first get the connection going strong to the point that you are almost sure they are interested as well. That's when you casually ask them out on some thing small like a coffee date. Be confident and fun. Sorry if this sounds mean but your posts don't reflect a happy and fun guy. I understand you are frustrated but people can smell desperation. They won't look past that and see the good and kind man you are. You need to appear happy and not lonely. Think about how animals attract there mates. Some do a big show and dance. Fancy feathers and so on. If your corner looks like a sad and not fun place to be no lady will want to join you there. Instead find fun groups to join. Be a bit silly and fun! Then ladies will be drawn to you. They will want to find out what it would be like to spend one on one time with you. Can you start a group at your church? Some thing fun of course. Also that will show you have confidence. Or how about a church band? Some thing that will be a way to show case your self in a fun and confident way. If not then find places that have ladies you would be interested in dating. Go with friends so you can show you are happy and not lonely. As for my relationship I meet him at work. I knew some of his family members first. We worked different shifts and only got to see each other for a few minuets as the shift changed. It was a good way as we got to know each other slowly. He started by writing a little note so I would know what work he had already done. It showed consideration but not desperation. We continued writing little notes and talking briefly at shift change. Now it had been over five years. It has taken work to maintain but all relationships do. I hope some of my suggestions help. Best wishes and I hope you meet some one who loves and understands you in the near future. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 9 Dec, 2010 03:52 PM Canada. :applause: Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 10 Dec, 2010 04:48 AM I live in Canada: I have a mild form of Autism. It is mentality IMPOSSIBLE for me to play this stupid game GOD DID NOT GIVE ME THE ABILITY TO PLAY THIS STUPID GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is not that I am not willing to try, as twosparrows and others have stated, it is that I am UNABLE to do so. And for the record, with this woman at my church, I have tried to take it slow and get to know her first, but the reason why I only have spoken to her for 20 min is because she doesn�t make herself available. We have several friends in common, including family members. I tried to get them to help me meet her so that I could talk to her FIRST before I asked her out. I want to take it slow. But, all my friends and family refused to help. They called me a coward and a chicken, just as Tulip and twosparrows have implied, so I finally gave up and asked her out, and she turned me down. I am not surprised that she turned me down. It is exactly as I expected because she is extremely shy. But no matter how much I beg and plead for help, my friends and family refused. They are embarrassed of me, yes, they have told me that to my face. I know I can be a good husband, I just can�t play this stupid game of getting to know each other. I can�t just fake it. I can do this, if someone is willing to help, to take A LOT OF TIME AND EFFORT TO HELP ME, NOT JUST GIVE ME A FEW STUPID MEANINGLESS STATEMENTS. But everyone keeps throwing me away and telling me that I am COMPLETELY ON MY OWN, I AM NOT WORTH THE TIME. I am broken, and I am not worth the effort of helping. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 10 Dec, 2010 06:11 AM Hey cobbler man, if no one else, I feel for ya. Even though i live in canada meant well with her advice, if it's not for you (it's deffinitly not for me) try journaling. Talking honestly with and listening to yourself and what happened and/or how you feel that. It has really helped me understand what I really think and need as well as how I feel about things, how strongly, how it has affected my life. If you try that I hope it works for you as well as it has for me and I hope you don't get discouraged for too long or worry too much. I've been down that road and it's hell and I don't wish half of that on anybody. Being happy is more important than being single/taken 10 times out of 10. For the journaling thing, I got the concepts for it at angermanagementresources. com. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 10 Dec, 2010 08:59 AM Cobbler, sorry, forgot about your deal, and thought canada gave some heart felt advice. I did not imply any such thing as you said, and don't see that Tulip did either. We are all just sharing ideas on how you can to get to know a shy girl at your church and you break in two and start bucking for the moon?....give it some thought... Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 10 Dec, 2010 12:05 PM Cobbler,it's so SAD,SAD to see that you're gone again.I will admit something: 1: i was a slow learner at school (in a way,i still am).So when i did maths,it was a struggle for me. 2: Another reason was that i have a brother who autistic as well.Sadly,he cannot help himself or talk at all,so even that is a little difficult at times when i take him to the hospital or polyclinic.Take brother & may god be with you in your choices in life.:waving: Post Reply

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