Author Thread: Beautiful Women
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Beautiful Women
Posted : 23 Jul, 2009 10:31 PM

It's very obvious after looking at some men's profiles that looks are very high at the top of the list for some if not most men. Attached on most profiles is something like this, "prefer a woman who stays fit", "I like a woman who takes care of herself", "a woman who is in shape". While some men may actually mean that, we women know that it's also code for not fat.



It's amazing to me the emphasis men put on a woman's looks. Most would say, oh, but men are just visual creatures. Really? Where in the Bible does God say that He made men to be more visual than women. Women can appreciate beauty just as much as men, and believe me we like to be married to or dating someone who looks amazing to us. But, I think the emphasis has been put too much by men on women's looks. It would try to put pressure on women to be or look a certain way. No woman wants to be married and feel like she has to look a certain way or maintain a certain weight. Yet that is the message some men would send or seem to send. What if women held you guys to such rigid expectations on your looks as you seem to do to us? As someone well put it on this site, some of you men want a filet mignon when you yourself are an uninspected butt end of pork.



Let me submit to you that if you will look at a women spiritually, and see her beautiful that way first, it will help the situation a lot and I believe you will even find her more beautiful physically if you'll do that. I believe a women's weight should be between her and the Lord. I'm not talking about being totally unhealthy, and I certainly think it is cool for a woman to be beautiful to her husband and appear beautifully for him. But if you will back off and let her weight be between her and God and take the pressure off her, you would probably be surprised how beautiful she would appear to you. If you give us freedom to be who God made us to be and be beautiful spiritually and physically and be natural, we would be happier to and more eager to dress well for you and present ourselves beautifully to you.



Just a tip.

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Beautiful Women
Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 01:00 PM

The point of the original post was that some men put too much emphasis on looks. There are more important things. Many have posted and some men have made my point without even knowing it. Rather than acknowledge that there is a problem with men's preoccupation with looks and such, they defended it. This post was not about preferences. It simply stated there is a problem with men's emphasis on looks and women should not feel pressure because of it. Women know better now how to not respond out of pressure or feel pressure areas of looks, shape, and weight. Although I'm sure they'll change, men continue to rigidly defend an emphasis on it going into long writings about diet and exercise and their right to choose, rather than changing their behavior. Period.

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DontHitThatMark

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 01:19 PM

But how do you tell? I understood your post...but you were saying that guys who put "I'm looking for someone that stays in shape"

in their profile are basically all to be avoided. I just don't see how you can tell which are putting it in as a preference and which are a requirement...and to tell women to avoid every guy that does it is kinda mean. Maybe all the guys should start putting disclaimers in their profile? I agree with you on the point that some guys are unreasonable...but in your post it's implied that all the guys are, isn't it? A little?



"Attached on most profiles is something like this, "prefer:stop:(there's preference there, right?) a woman who stays fit", "I like a woman who takes care of herself", "a woman who is in shape". While some men may actually mean that, we women know that it's also code for not fat."



:peace::peace:

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 01:47 PM

That is their word, not mine. I said that is actually a code for not fat. FYI, xxbruthaman you mention multiple times that your family is into exercise or health, you go on and on about diet and exercise. The point of this thread was never diet and exercise in and of itself. It was about the high value men put on looks. You said yourself you would not date someone who didn't be healthy and exercise, yet you say it's just a preference or make it seem that way and it's no big deal. If it's not a big deal why mention it so much and go on and on about it. You said earlier that you would not put pressure on a woman or your wife. Yet you just said that you poked your father in the belly because YOU thought he had too much blue belle ice cream and he dieted. So, you won't put pressure on your wife, but you poke him in the belly because he had too much ice cream. Right. And you siylii said yourself if you put that you preferred a man who stays in shape, you would be called a negative word. Yet if a guy does that, don't worry, that' s just his preference. Donthitthatmark, instead of acknowledging that the post that said gorgeous/tiny figure was hard /difficult on girls, you defend it saying that may be his preference. Some men are out of control. Some women are content to put up with it. I am not. :) End of story. It is a widely known fact that women have been presented a certain way to be in magazines, television, movies, impressions, expectations, and culture. Yet it is as if most of you on here are oblivious to this. The problem is perpetuated by men putting undue emphasis on looks. Some men are out of control. Some women are content to put up with it. I am not. :) End of story. End of thread.

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 02:18 PM

dear folks, sillii, i really like the way you look at things.. you are a very wise young lady.. oh and know i wasnt makin fun of toothless folks as i am one of them.. i have teeth but they arent my own hehe... and i will tell you one thing those 9 months without them,waiting for them to be made and my gums to shrink so i wouldnt have as much problems with mine, was the only time in my life i couldnt get me a woman.. lol it was a preference for them and hey i dont hold it against anyone for whatever preference they have.. if i dont fit it then find someone else that i do fit their preference... its not rocket science.. and its not about shallowness. its plain out about who and what you like.. thats it. thats all.. nothin more nothin less..



and one thing to remember always is that the initial attraction ,or looks only gets you to hello.. anything further has to be the whole person.



id also hate to be a barbie or a ken here,accordin to the world as theyve been portrayed as havin only looks and nothing else to offer and anyone thats after them is only shallow and thus leaving them to only have shallow men or women in their lives.. and thats not showin love to your neighbor..



ole cattle

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myhopejeremiah29_11

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 03:02 PM

So gloryshine if you are not going to put up with it and you OBVIOUSLY cannot change men and how they are why not just let it go? Just wait for a man who fits your criteria. It is simple.





And xxxbruthaman had simply been trying to tell you something from his personal life to get his point across and help you see his side of things.



And for the record, it is not only men who do this...women are guilty of it just as often.

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DontHitThatMark

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 04:01 PM

"Donthitthatmark, instead of acknowledging that the post that said gorgeous/tiny figure was hard /difficult on girls, you defend it saying that may be his preference."



I did say it repeatedly...I said some guys are very unreasonable. I'm not defending it as his preference...I want to know how you know that it isn't? And if it is, why isn't he allowed to have it? Throwing an overarching "all guys that put 'I like girls that are in shape' are evil" is...possibly inaccurate. What? I know! And you're going to tell me that girls don't like looking beautiful on their own?? It's all man's fault? Ok...um...well, I guess that explains a lot:rolleyes:. But I'm going to continue to stay in shape because I think God wants me to live a healthy life...and I'm going to continue to look for a girl like me. If that makes me a pig, then...I guess I am. Sorry ladies. Grab a pitchfork. I would also like to add that I think everyone on this website that has "I go to church every week" should take that of their profile...I'm sure it makes the people that can't get to church every week feel guilty. Also, if you play sports and you're looking for someone that shares your interest...if that is in your profile...take it out. Some of us can't play sports. If you don't want to marry someone that's in a different denomination, throw that one out as well. If you like horses? Some of us are afraid of them. And here's a really personal one. If you won't date someone that's a vegetarian...that hurts my feelings...a lot. Every preference/requirement has the potential to hurt someones feelings, so take them all out. Even just saying "I love skydiving" has that potential. Get to know the person, and THEN tell them you won't spend the rest of your life with them, because you have some requirement/preference that's important to you that you weren't allowed to put in your profile because it might hurt someones feelings. Boy, that sounds unreasonable...OR you could just say..."hmm...she doesn't like vegetarians...moving on." "Oh my...he exercises and wants a girl that exercises too...not for me, moving on." Maybe everyone should find someone they're compatible with. Everyone does NOT have to marry you. Just be friends! That bypasses all the requirements, right? Just because someone doesn't want to marry you doesn't mean that they wouldn't love you as a friend or brother/sister in Christ. Marriage isn't just "He/she loves Jesus, and so do I". If that was it, why get married? It's a partnership. If she likes to travel and he doesn't? Not a very good partnership. If she wants to be a missionary and he doesn't? Not a good partnership. If she drinks socially, and he thinks alcohol is a tool of Satan? If she exercises and he doesn't? Possibly not the best marriage out there. Can you see that? Or am I nuts...



Ok, Mark....be brave...click submit...I said CLICK IT!! "No! I don't like pitchforks!" Do what I say, boy! "No, I won't!!" Do it now! Stop tryin:devil:tyrk:boxing:s sfj:MrT:knkjx:boxing:zssw:bouncy:mn jjm:boxing:kjkm AH HA! I win!!:yay::nahnah::peace: *click*

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 06:30 PM

There is nothing more to write. i am right. There is a problem. This has been a cultural problem going on for a long time. Some men do put undue emphasis on looks. You would rather hide it than deal with it. Others would try to throw it back on women. Others would rather defend it and say, I can do whatever I want. You want to spent time and discuss diet and exercise than hit the problem head on. The esteem of young girls and much older girls can be stung if they see images in media or feel like they have to be a certain way or look a certain way. I am amazed that on a Christian website you guys would rather defend it than correct it. And ladies, I am sickened that you would rather ignore it or defend it to than deal with it. Someone putting skydiving on their profile does not cause someone pressure to go skydiving. Although, saying something about gorgeous/tiny figure stings women and could cause some to feel pressure to be a certain. You used a bad example to defend yourself. Hide it, defend it, ignore it. Whatever. I told you there was a problem. Listen to it or don't. I won't write anything else/anymore about this.

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DontHitThatMark

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 07:54 PM

Well...I suppose it was a bad example...but you kinda misinterpreted it....I wasn't saying they'd feel pressured to skydive. I was saying some people are afraid of heights, so they'd be hurt because the person...that they apparently think should marry them...likes to do it. Does that mean the rest of them were good examples? Anyway...I agree there is a problem...but I also think that people should be able to find someone that is compatible with them. But apparently they just shouldn't say in their profile that they are looking for someone who stays in shape.



:peace::peace:

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myhopejeremiah29_11

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 08:21 PM

Mark,

I believe you should just give in on this one. Glory has made up on her mind and has made it clear that she believes that she is the one right here. She is not going to argue relentlessly no matter what we say on the matter.

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thatjennygirl

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 09:33 PM

I can see where you're coming from and how you would feel offended reading a guy's profile that he prefers someone who "stays fit" or "eats healthy" if you yourself don't feel you fit that criteria. I would encourage you to ask yourself, "am I entirely happy with the way I look?" If you're not, then it's not fair to expect a man to be. Maybe when reading these profiles they are hitting a nerve because of your own issues? No need to answer, just trying to show you a different perspective.



Also, when men put those things in their profile, I think it's more about a woman who RESPECTS herself enough to take care of herself. I'm sure if a woman respects herself and is comfortable in her own skin, but doesn't look like barbie, some of the guys who say they want barbie would still be into her.



Every person has a right to choose their partner based on their personal preference and should not be made to feel guilty for doing so. If you don't like what they've written in their profile, just move on and respect their God given right to choose whichever partner is right for them.

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