Author	Thread: Choice vs. Feeling
Admin	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 03:11 AM Which do you think comes first, choosing to love someone, or the feeling of love? Do you feel love because of someone�s actions, or do you choose to show love because you feel like it? Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 12:38 PM @ Cobbler, I am rather embarrassed you put it that way...so allow me to say I have the utmost respect for both of you. My earlier horse analogy was to reveal my opinion is really more in the middle of the road on this topic, but because it seemed to me most erred to the extreme on the feeling side I set up camp on the opposite side in order to bring them only half way, ie : the middle of the road, a combination of romantic love and 'I will love no matter what' love, both a gift from God. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 01:20 PM Yes Two, their separation from Christ showed itself quite clearly in their "marriage." The good news is though, if I ever wonder what I should do in a certain situation, I can just think of what my granddad would do and do the opposite. As far as giving everybody a chance, I can understand your point Cobbler, but I don't have the time to ask out every girl I meet, and I'm sure they don't have time to go out with every guy they meet. How can you determine which ones to pick? Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 01:21 PM Additionally, Two, I don't think most people were trying to say that feelings are more important than choice, but rather that there is some element of feeling the precedes choosing to love someone romantically. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 02:08 PM Well, Tulip, you are young and most people your age are not married, so you don�t have the time to date everyone. You do have the opportunity to pick and choose. I was speaking of us older people who don�t have as many choices. There is a woman in my church who is a few years younger than me who really wishes to be married, but she barely speaks to me, and has refused to go out with me (I have asked), and then states that God isn�t sending anyone her way. Who knows, I have a small suspicion that we wouldn�t be right for each other anyways, but what could it hurt to �waste� a few hours out of her life to go out on a few dates and see. She just sits around not dating anyone waiting on God to bring her the gift of a husband. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 03:03 PM Yes, Cobbler, I have been on both sides of that equation, neither side is a comfortable place to be. But since you brought it up, your situation calls for a 'I only want to be friends approach'. This lady may be subconsciously thinking she is not going to spend any time on a man she isn't going to marry, so take marriage, romance, dating out of the situation. Let her believe you only want to be friends and not even good friends at that! Let her get to know you, never pushing for more. If she becomes interested you will know, if not you have a new friend. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 03:25 PM Yes, that would be the ideal situation, but she is extremely shy and doesn't do anything in any kind of public setting, so I really don't have the oportunity to get to know her at all. I have only had the chance to talk to her for about 20 min in the past 6 years. Like I said, we probably aren't a match, I was just trying to give us both a chance. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 03:52 PM Hmmm...well a situation might call for a slightly bolder approach. March up to her after church and say something to the effect of, "Hi Mary, I know I've asked you out before, but I think you're a special woman and can't help but want to get to know you better. Give me three dates for us to see if we might have a future together. How's that sound?" Fortune favors the bold, my friend! Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 04:24 PM I like Tulips approach also, but make sure you have someone to call to bail you out if..................you get arrested for stalking, lol! Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 04:40 PM It's only stalking if it's the third time you've done it from outside her window, technically speaking and such. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 9 Dec, 2010 03:27 AM Speaking of stalking, you know how one theory on finding a spouse is just to do something that you are interested in and then you will just bump into someone who has a mutual interest. Well, I happen to know that she likes to take courses on Biblical counseling, and she goes to a seminar once a year in Vermont (a state away). So, one of my friends suggested that I somehow find out when and where she would be attending the seminar (I don�t even know the name of the seminar). And then, since it is not just one large lecture, but many small ones, I would somehow have to find out what classes she was taking and sign up for them. All that so I could �bump� into and have her think that we met doing something of mutual interest. Talk about being a phony, not to mention stalking. And, the only way I am going to find out all the info is through mutual friends, who have flat out refused to help me in any way, even though they thought we would make a great match, until they found out that I had asked her out and she turned me down. Then she because a selfish, self-centered, psyco-nutcase. Post Reply

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