I am sure there will be a wide range of differences here.
I'll be the sacrifical lamb and go first since I started this thing. :prayingf:
I personally believe couples thinking of wedding should talk about sex. However I think it should be carefully considered and perhaps close to their wedding date and maybe a semi public place. lol!
I also believe that details should be left out. For the nay sayers I want to just throw this out there. Just imagine two people on the extreme opposites of the spectrum getting married not knowing what they are getting into.
I have more opionions but let's see if I get stones thrown at me before moving forward.
dear folks, first off if someones a pervert i dont believe theyd just tell you all about it before ya married them.. they know youd run em off..
if they knew you wasnt gonna have sex with them before marriage anyways.. its my opinion they wont bring that out till theyre already havin sex with ya anyways..
and secondly i dont recall any example of a couple havin a sex discussion before marriage in the bible..
if you choose wisely and dont jump into anything and get to know someone first before marriage i dont see a need to talk about sex anyways.. thatll take care of itself.. i dont recall nary a time it bein bad..
it can be very dangerous to talk about it as since you are a christian and prolly been tryin to be good that way and abstain ... you are at a weak point to begin with because of that.. and if ya start talkin bout it ,it will just weaken you more and keep your mind on it more and more.. and next thing ya know youre in a predicament.. with no turnin back.. i dont believe you can start out wrong and the relationship be blessed....
i think alot of us here are at a disavantage to begin with as alot of us have been married before or had relations before
and therefore we do have something to compare another to..
and that is why i believe it was meant to be between one man and one woman.. and in marriage..
cause then youd have no way of knowing if someone else was better or not.. you only know that you had the best right there with you in your husband or in your wife..
youd have no idea what the grass was like on the other side the fence ya know.. nothing and no one else to compare your relations with ...
let that be a lesson for all of you young adults and even the older adults who are still virgins.. keep yourself that way till your marriage day.. share that specialness with only one.
and dont dirty your relationship up by talkin about it with your potential mate.. save all that for your wedding night.. or you may not make it till your weddin night ...
take it from someone who unblessed a many a relationships in the past... keep it pure and holy and marry first..
A lot of what Ole' cattle says is very good advice. Note of interest. if you marry someone in a wheel chair how do you form a life? Should our focus be on Jesus and a family that prays together stays together? :prayingf:
I have read a few comments here that may have implied that a good life in bed may be a good marrige.I disagree.
It is a life in christ. feel free to disagree with me. Dennis
In a perfect world we wouldnt have to discuss any of this. and if i understand it right in the Bible there wasnt discusions about sex because there wasnt dating mom and dad said marry him and u did. Now however we have to go through the dating stuff and make a decission on ur own.
Anyway i think it is up to the couple and if talking to someone else helps u then go for it but for me i will talk to the man i am with.
I smile when I read someone saying we should not talk about sex until AFTER we are married, and here they are talking about sex on a public forum with people to whom they are not married, but trying to say we should not talk about sex. But here they are talking about sex. Does any one else see the humor in this?
Well I personally feel that this subject needs to be brought up even before an engagement takes place. I for one do not want to invest in rings not knowing if I am sexually compatible. As for me I am open to everything but pain, other people being involved, or any animals being involved. :peace: I am pretty easy to please:dancingp:
I totally agree on the knowledge of how the other views these very important things in our lives, like money, family, likes and dislikes, Christian beliefs, etc...I had not thought about the conversation on sex, but what you say is very true. Maybe my thoughts of what is normal may not be normal to some one else. I believe that God will lead us and guide us in all things that are important for any union that He brings together. God is faithful!!
Babybird56, In response to your post: I think there are two aspects to this question, two answers. One aspect has a simple answer because it only has one part. The other aspect has three parts. I will do my best to keep my opinion short and concise.
The right time to talk about sex is anytime, IF your potential partner (or fiance) is comfortable talking about the subject. Sometimes you just plain know that they are because God has revealed it to you. Sometimes its better to ask them first.
The second aspect of this topic question is what did the topics author mean by sex? I read her original post and it feels like she meant to be general about the topic, so perhaps defining sex, as I see it, will help keep the discussion going. My bible says sex is three things; spiritual, physical, and mental. There may be more than these three, so do excuse me if there is a fourth or fifth part, its kind of the end of my day.
Sex is spiritual. My bible says a man leaves his house, his parents influence to join his wife and the same applies to a woman. Sex in it's spiritual sense is one of God's mysteries. I would be a liar if I said I have the ability to wrap my head around the concept or enough knowledge of God's Word to fully explain it. Sex as spiritual I feel starts back when Adam and Eve were in the garden. God creates man in his own image. God creates woman in his own image after that. I think what's really cool about that is that man is the expression of the masculine characteristics of God, I do not think I am alone in saying that is a "no brainer", BUT when I think about women or womanhood being the expression of the feminine, soft, loving characteristics of God my brain starts to sizzle. Womanhood, to me, completes the circle..God is love to the MAX. My bible points to the fact that sex is spiritual. If a married man has spent the day staring at the "attributes" of the lady behind the counter at the local 7/11 and others and is making love to his wife that evening, she, the wife, is going to feel it. I don't mean the wife knows what specifically the husbands "sin of the eyes' was from earlier in the day, but she does feel it, a disconnect from her husband..why, well I like to repeat myself...cause SEX IS SPIRITUAL.
Sex is physical. Men are not made like women. Women don't feel pressure from a buildup of semen like men do. The fact is though that men don't need sex, they merely want sex. And that is why men get married, it is taking a trusting, loving relationship to the next level. Physical sex means for men, the husband, that the wife's boundaries are the law. If a wife isn't into "french kissing" and the husband pushes it, goes ahead with his tongue, he is sinning against God..it is just that simple. An** sex is not acceptable to God, I know men push this and some couples try it, but it is "off the Word".
Sex is mental...well, I am leaving my opinion on this til later, because I am burning out. And yes folks I went well beyond the question. Please don't waste my time and your time pointing that out...if you have a beef..tell me directly in a letter.
As mature as were suppose to be I thing we should be able to talk about anything .The more communitation the better ,that way you both know where you both stand about anything.And the less chance of problems.
Abosolutely, I do believe if a relationship should start,knowing from the begining that sex is for AFTER marriage,(as for myself)not before.As we all know that kissing and hugging(petting) in certain situations may lead to that. I feel if you are both on the same page before it may get to that point,it makes the understanding so much easier,while being easier to back away and know how great it will be for you both AND in God's eyes for when it can happen~!