Author	Thread: Choice vs. Feeling
Admin	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 03:11 AM Which do you think comes first, choosing to love someone, or the feeling of love? Do you feel love because of someone�s actions, or do you choose to show love because you feel like it? Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 07:09 AM Yep. Before then, when people weren't happy with their marriage, they just cheated on their spouses while staying married. Heck, my grandparents slept in separate rooms for the last 30 years of their marriage and lived completely separate lives. They stayed married though, so that makes it better, right? Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 07:43 AM Tulip, staying together and working things out makes it Biblical. It's not about whether you or I like it or not. Matthew 19:9-10 (NASB) 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." 10 The disciples *said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry." Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 07:53 AM If you think my grandparents worked things out, you are sorely mistaken. They were just house mates who lived entirely separate lives, and in my grandfather's case, had several women on the side. They hated each other up until the day he died. To think that the fact that they stayed married somehow made that all better is foolish. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 08:09 AM So that makes the Bible wrong? Matthew 19:7-8 (NASB) 7 They *said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?" 8 He *said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 09:25 AM So basically you're saying, "Never mind that they hated each other, continually mistreated each other, did their best to see each other as little as possible, slept in separate rooms, had affairs, and had no intention of reconciling. They didn't get a divorce, so that makes their marriage successful in my book." We need to hope and work for more than just not getting divorced. We need to hope and work for a thriving, healthy marriage. Simply staying married isn't even close to a win. The past was full of sin, just like today. People were simply under more pressure to hide their sin from everybody else who was busy playing Christian too. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 09:44 AM Tulip, completely to the contrary. I am saying that people need to choose to learn to love their spouse, to work through their differences, to put each other above themselves. What your grandparents did was completely unbiblical. Having problems in marriage is normal, and frankly unavoidable. You are, after all, putting two sinners together. It�s not choosing to love each other by working through their differences is what is unbiblical. And no, I would not say their marriage was a success. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 10:00 AM I guess now the question is, what does this mean for us single people? We don't have a spouse to work on things with yet. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 10:17 AM Well, for us single people, that means giving others a chance and working with them to build a relationship. Don�t just cut and run the first time you don�t like something. I don�t mean stick around when the other person is being abusive, I mean when someone does something you don�t understand, or learning to accept someone little quirks. It is about overlooking the small stuff and looking for the good things in the other person. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 10:29 AM Tulip I would think you would be the first to agree that your granparents real shortcoming was their relationship with God, the unfulfilled marriage was only a symptom. Post Reply
View Profile History	Choice vs. Feeling Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 10:35 AM Thank you twosparows. Once again focusing on winning the argument.... I'm so bad at that. Post Reply

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