Author	Thread: Ok so can someone give me advice on how a relationship/marriage is supposed to work? Your views?
Admin	Ok so can someone give me advice on how a relationship/marriage is supposed to work? Your views? Posted : 20 Sep, 2010 10:30 AM I was always taught the man was the head of the house hold and what he says go. How do you feel about that? A man and womna is equal right? But I believe and was taught man was man after God and woman was made after man so through the chain man is over woman. Anyway, I know a lot of people's feathers are going to be fuffled by what I just said but a man is supposed to be the dominant one and the one is supposed to sumbit herself. Am I right? So nowadays women seem to want to be dominant and the man wants to be dominant because it's his nature. So how are the two supposed to get along? Post Reply
T4gsds View Profile History	Ok so can someone give me advice on how a relationship/marriage is supposed to work? Your views? Posted : 22 Sep, 2010 02:32 PM "Hmm.. "Prove" myself to be worthy of dating you? Well, I don't necessarily agree that I need to prove myself to a woman, but I do think that it naturally happens in the course of courting a woman." So, you basically agree, holpcs2... you just have a problem with my choice of words. Whether you like the words or not... reality is that both men and women are deciphering during courtship and dating if the other is worthy of marriage and tying the rest of your life to them. The stakes are higher for a woman... she's looking for a man she can truly trust to lead them both with both of their interests at heart... a real man worth submitting to. Perhaps you guys don't understand this because you are not women. When you have daughters someday and have to walk them down the aisle and give them away to another man... trusting they will care for her... perhaps then you will understand. Post Reply
springrose10 View Profile History	Ok so can someone give me advice on how a relationship/marriage is supposed to work? Your views? Posted : 22 Sep, 2010 06:43 PM T4gsds, I so admire your posts! Having had an abusive ex, my beau knew right away, that he was going to have to prove himself trustworthy if we were going to have any kind of friendship at all. He voiced this goal and took it on willingly, what I'd call eagerly. He had no doubt that he was trustworthy or that he could prove it. I agree with Trgsds that we are all proving ourselves to each other. So, I'm wondering if some men show insecurity when "prove" is a problem? Do they fear not being able to be worthy of anyone? We prove our character eveyday by our actions. "Even a child is known by his actions." Prov. 20:11 Post Reply
View Profile History	Ok so can someone give me advice on how a relationship/marriage is supposed to work? Your views? Posted : 22 Sep, 2010 07:37 PM I hear what you're saying, T4gsds, but using words like "prove" and "worthy" implements that the guy automatically is unworthy from the start. I agree that in today's society, women have it hard trying to choose a Godly man, just as men have it hard trying to find a Godly woman. But even still, the playing field starts out even. I don't owe or have to prove to you anything, nor do you owe or have to prove anything to me. Starting off with that kind of attitude is disruptive to the courting process, is it not? Or am I misunderstanding your whole point? Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	Ok so can someone give me advice on how a relationship/marriage is supposed to work? Your views? Posted : 25 Sep, 2010 05:34 AM Holpcs is right. It's not the language as much as it is the whole assumption that men are unworthy creatures in desperate need to prove ourselves to the much-more valuable woman. There's no respect for men in this worldview, but I get the feeling here that respect of men is a real big issue with some women. That's why they fall back into the whole "proving" concept -- they've been hurt and so now regard themselves as superior to any suitors as a way to deflect further pain. The problem in all this is that it's self-centered instead of selfless. Until that pain is healed, the superiority complex and the disdain of men will remain. And for the record, I don't demand that women "prove" themselves to me. I look for women who are of the same mind/heart as myself and then I look for evidence. I don't expect any artificial effort. Post Reply
T4gsds View Profile History	Ok so can someone give me advice on how a relationship/marriage is supposed to work? Your views? Posted : 7 Oct, 2010 08:24 PM "men are unworthy creatures" and "much-more valuable woman" These are YOUR words... not mine. No doubt that your own past has caused you to interpret my words in this manner. I never said that one sex is more superior than the other. I've only stated that there are men who abuse the role as head of the household and it is important for a woman to discern prudently that the man she marries is one who should be submitted to and followed. All men are not equal on this earth. There a some that are true Christians, some that are evil at the core but veil themselves in Christianity and some that are all out evil and don't hide it. The fact that the Bible states a woman should submit to her husband's judgment makes it CRITICAL that a woman is careful about whom she is willing to submit to. If you can not understand this, I fear it shows that you don't have much respect for women, either. "then I look for evidence" Is this not the same as looking for "proof"? How is looking for any evidence different than looking for proof that a woman is who she says she is? And why is it so bad that a woman is looking for the same evidence in a man? Post Reply

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