Author	Thread: How to treat a woman
klmartin62 View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 16 Feb, 2010 12:40 AM HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN Wine Her Dine Her Call Her Hold Her Surprise Her Compliment Her Smile at Her Listen to Her Laugh with Her Cry with Her Romance Her Encourage Her Believe in Her Cuddle with Her Shop with Her Give Her Jewelry Buy Her Flowers Hold Her hand Write love letters to Her Go to the ends of the earth and back again for Her HOW TO TREAT A MAN Show up naked Bring chicken wings and don't block the T.V. Post Reply
View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 06:59 PM The tazer joke was hilarious, but I agree it should have been edited. Live and learn, huh? We still love 'ya brother! Thanks for the chuckle and keep 'em comin' as far as I'm concerned. Although -- do check for appropriate content. Post Reply
klmartin62 View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 10:04 PM Ladies, Thank you once again. I assure you everything will be edited from now on. Blessings, Leon Post Reply
View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 11:20 PM Hey Leon I'll back ya on this one too, though I can see where some might see it as pushing the envelope on our beloved site. It so happens I heard this very same post spoken (shorter version but same ending) in a sermon on the Christian radio broadcast out here just this past week but can't remember exactly who preached it... I was surprised to hear it but had to giggle! Post Reply
klmartin62 View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 18 Feb, 2010 12:05 AM Thanks, I should have checked it before posting. I just knew who posted it and remembered how funny it was so I wrote him a note that I was stealing it, copied and pasted. It won't happen again. Like I said, I don't want to be known as the guy that posts the dirty jokes. I don't know why I got so upset, I have been acting like a bear with a sore tooth the last few days and need to figure out my problem. I am not normally like that so thanks to everyone for tolerating me. Love and grace, Leon Post Reply
View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 18 Feb, 2010 12:44 AM dear leon,,,, i recon we all have days like them sometimes.. i know youre not normally like that.. put it behind you friend. ole cattle Post Reply
vkjewell View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 18 Feb, 2010 05:57 PM Gotta LOVE a guy who can apologize (again and again and again . . .) Thanks for sharing the story, Leon! I found it Hillarious! :ROFL: Brings back fond and funny memories of the time "New Dad" was zapped by a similar contraption intended to "soothe" mothers during hard labor. [What were they thinking?] Anyway, he volunteered to "experience" it for me, strapped it on, and promptly went back to reading his computer magazine. I cranked it up to "ten", the magazine hit the ceiling, and he won the Gold Medal for standing long jump that year. :ROFL: Still a family favorite story if you ask my first baby . . . Post Reply
View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 18 Feb, 2010 06:25 PM leon, i did feel a bit awkward with the first post and as cattle did i felt the description was a bit unnecessary. not attacking you, jus saying. but i lol'ed terribly for the second one. nyanda Post Reply
View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 18 Feb, 2010 06:32 PM lmao vkj !! God bless you leon for bringing on an on slaught of laughter ! nyanda Post Reply
Linnie41 View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 18 Feb, 2010 11:38 PM Leon - I thought the first one was absolutely hysterical - I plan on sharing that one with every friend I have! I had seen the second one in it's original version, and this is NOTHING compared to how it's actually written - your version was cleaned up quite a bit. But even in the original version, I found it to be pretty funny. And seriously folks, if this was offensive to you, then you should also find cartoons absolutely terrible because they depict killing, and I certainly hope you've never seen a movie rated other than "G." I think everyone was a little rough on you here, bro. Post Reply
klmartin62 View Profile History	How to treat a woman Posted : 18 Feb, 2010 11:38 PM Okay, this time I will proof read and edit before posting. This was sent to me by a dear friend. WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the trash can. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were... 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least: 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. :ROFL: I hope y'all enjoy this as much as I did. Much love, Leon Post Reply

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