I don't date men who are divorced merely because why should I have to deal with all their baggage of ex-wives when I don't have ex-husbands for you to deal with. I call this out on being what's fair to me.
Sure will get much hate mail on this since ur all divorced from what I can see.
If ur in a bad marriage then get out. People in church try to make you think that divorce is worse than any other sin they act like it's worse than murder and stealing. Divorce is a sin like any other sin and you can be forgiven for such sins. If people really practiced what they preached on board here then they wouldn't be looking for a wife on board here when they are divorced and their ex is still alive. Except for it be in the case where the ex wife is deceased or cheated on you then the bible states u are to remain unmarried. Ur sinning against the bible when ur searching for a wife.
It's wrong to support scripture when it supports ur case and deny scripture when it doesnt support ur case.
I believe that if a man or woman is in any kind of abusive marriage then they need to get out of that marriage pronto. God will forgive them just like he forgave the woman who had 5 husbands. God hates divorce but he never states anywhere in the bible that it's the unforgiveable sin like many of you seem to believe. All sin is sin and can be forgiven if u truly repent.
God never intended for women to be dominated in marriage and have no say. God wants us ladies to be treated like treasures where we submit to our husbands and our husbands submit to us. Where we treat our husbands like gold.
God is a good, just and fair God. He understands if ur going thru hell in ur marriage and will forgive you if u divorce. I love it how people on here are one sided and only support scripture that benefit them. The men just as much as the women have been commanded to be submissive. It's a 2 way street not a one way.
One of you keep making ludicrous remarks to support ur one sided view. Bethsheeba and the women who were married to David were married to a King no other than King David himself. Back in that time u didn't say no to a King if you wanted to live. I'm curious to know if she could've refused him when he wanted to committ adultery with him? Who says no to a King? I do know that she couldn't divorce him and leave or any of his other wives for that matter and expect to live.
We need to get out of an unhealthy marriage where, emotional, physical abuse is taking place. If he's into porn or cheating on you doping it up... drugs and alcohol then get out. He is commanded to love you like Christ loved the church if he's not then get out. God will forgive u divorce isn't the unforgiveable sin.
I don't condone petty reasons for divorce like he got fat on you or has bad habits like drinks from the milk jug and so forth.
I was going to remain quite after my last post.But I have to point something out.
When Jesus was praying in the garden he said, Not my will but your will.Then they came and took him.They beat him and spit on him.Jesus was whipped with 39 strips.
One of those strips was for the drunk.
another one for the abusive husband.
Another for the wife who deserts her husband.
I use this as an example tp prove my point.
Not my will, but the fathers will.
Walter pointed out the reasons for divorace.Since my x left me and stopped going to church I can remarry with out commiting adultery.She has by her own choice left the church.
I have forgiven her an moved on.
When Jesus died on the cross he died for everybody.
He died for the wife beater and the drunk.
If Jesus did this then you must follow that example.
If your spouse is drunk that is not grounds to leave them.
Jesus died for you and them.You can put them out of the house to force them into counciling.
Kimberly, if your husband is going to harm you remember your life is in gods hands not yours.Paul, killed christians.He helped stone them.Otherwise, they were beat to death.
If it is your time to die, "you say god do not hold this sin against them." Then you die knowing gods will is being done.
If gods love has no limits and yours does then are you really saved? Search yourself.
True love is giving your life for those who are your enemies.
KIMBERLY: "Divorce isn't the unforgiveable sin regardless of how much u try to misinterpret scripture in ur favor to make it appear so."
WALTER: Are you saying that I have misinterpreted scripture? If so please "demonstrate" where I have. Show me where my exegesis is in error. I never said it was unpardonable. I am saying as God says in His written word that just because He forgives your sin does NOT mean that you can REMARRY unless it was for Biblical reasons. Everyone has a right to their opinion but your opinion carries no weight if you cannot prove your accusation against me or prove your point with God's Written Word.
Did you actually study what I wrote?
KIMBERLY: Ladies if ur in an abusive marriage get out and live.......God understands what ur going thru and he will forgive this sin just like he has all ur other sins. All sins are equal in God's eyes he will forgive this sin just as quick as he'd forgive ur sin of letting a curse word come out of ur mouth.
WALTER: You are giving very bad advise Sister and contradicting God's Word. God does not say to leave someone if a spouse is verbally or mentally abusive. No one is in any physical danger from that. Additionally Peter....you know...the Apostle of our Lord writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit made it very clear though not easy to accept for some that......
1Peter 2:18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, BUT ALSO TO THE HARSH.
In other words servants are to submit themselves not only to the gentile and good Masters but also to those Masters who treat them harshly. You might want to meditate on that a moment and let that sink in a bit.
19 For this is commendable, if BECAUSE OF conscience toward God ONE ENDURES GRIEF, SUFFERING WRONGFULLY.
20 For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God.
21 FOR TO THIS YOU WERE CALLED, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps:
This is a very hard statement I know, but it is the inspired word of God. Some of you might say "Walter so what, this is about servants."
Really?......Let's continue.
22 "WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH";
23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;
24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness�by whose stripes you were healed.
25 For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
Now look what Peter says next about how wives are to be towards their �non believing� husbands. This is in the same discourse. He has not changed the meaning here.
1Pet 3:1 Wives,....LIKEWISE,..... be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
It is extremely important to notice the word Peter applies to women in verse one above. �LIKEWISE�. This means Peter is telling the wives to subject themselves in the very same manner AS THE SERVANTS are to subject themselves to their Masters in the previous verses. There is no wiggle room here. No way to escape the meaning no matter how much grammatical twisting is applied.
Jesus suffered beyond our comprehension when HE did not deserve it. Who do we think we are that we should not have to suffer at times. Is the servant greater than the Master? Does anyone here believe for a moment that they are better than Jesus?
KIMBERLY: I've already made a promise that when I marry Im not staying married to a man who's mentally, physically abuses me or my baby and if he is into porn, cheats, hangs out with lady friends over me, does drugs and drinks to get drunk and if he insults me in public I will tell him to pack his bag and leave. He's not loving me like himself and he's not loving me like Christ loved the Church so he has to leave. Now honestly after being married to someone like that I'm sure Id never want to marry again."
WALTER: What I see Kimberly, given that you are willing to have a child out of wedlock, through artificial means without a husband, and though you have received godly counsel from many of us telling you that that is not biblical, you still intend to proceed regardless of what God's principles are. That to me is a rebellious spirit. Now when you list these things as to what YOU will not put up with and kick a man out of the marriage is far, very far away from being biblical. Certainly not something that GOD will ever agree to. So again you show a rebellious spirit and have placed yourself in direct opposition to GOD! I certainly hope that the Ladies that are reading this will not accept your unbiblical counsel. It may tickle their ears but it is not of God!
KIMBERLY: So as far as marrying again I'm not in that position so will let you guys settle that one amongst urselves.
WALTER: Why would you be on a singles dating site, looking for, let me quote what your profile says... "Looking for: A MARRIAGE PARTNER".... if you are not in a position to marry again? This is a major contradiction.
Sorry for being tough on you Kimberly but when you give bad advise to fellow Christians I will hold you accountable as I expect people to hold me accountable as well. After all if we do not hold each other accountable, how will we grow spiritually stronger and more mature?
Divorce isn't a sin....and it's not a sign that the "marriage" is over. In God's eyes you are still "one flesh", and if you get married to someone else you are committing adultery. You are not separated from your spouse unless there was sexual immorality or death involved. If you got divorced and committed adultery, God will forgive you...but it is a really horrible thing to plan to sin and expect God to forgive you later. I'm not sure how God would handle a "willing sin" like that....
Ladies are very smart and they can make up their own mind of what they will tolerate in a marriage.
I stand by what I said I will never stay trapped in a slave marriage whether it's biblical or not of the reasons I divorce. I know what I believe. If he doesn't love me like Christ loved the church then it's Adios Amigos.
You can sound off like the Pharisees all you want if it makes you feel better. God is the complete opposite of legalism and ur posts are reaming in legalism. God is all about grace and forgiveness.
I know my God I serve is a very loving God and forgives people of divorce regardless of how you try to make him out to be a legslist God who would demand you to stay in a Hellish marriage.
Wrong answer God isn't a legslist he's gracious, merciful and forgiving and he will forgive anybody's sin out there if they divorce an abusive husband.
If ur saying he won't then ur the one being dishonest.
dear folks, i wanna cover just the abuse part here a little bit..
i dont know bout yawl or even everyone but all the men ive come to know as abusers of women .. those who beat their wives.. all of em i ever have known were not saved then.
they were full of sin problems.. usually alcohol or drugs are in use.
now thats not to say that there might not be any saved men that may come to do this. just not as probable id say..
and if they do so the wife and children need to get out of there and call the law and get them to get him out of there. and dont take him back till hes gotten the help he needs.. and make real sure hes changed before you let him back with you. and that goes for saved folks and non saved folks alike.
and if they are a believer then alot of the men believers family or friends ,neighbors around should go and have a good long talk with him about what a husbands sposed to be like to his wife.. cause theres never an escuse for abuse like that..
so if you are with an unsaved husband or wife and they leave you .. then you are not under bondage then..
1 corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
so if thats the case then you could divorce with a clear conscience, and be able to remarry witout needin forgiveness for doin so.. cause it would be biblical grounds.
KIMBERLY: You can sound off like the Pharisees all you want if it makes you feel better. God is the complete opposite of legalism and ur posts are reaming in legalism. God is all about grace and forgiveness.
WALTER: Nothing I said is being legalistic whatsoever and I challenge you to prove that the scriptures I presented do not say what they mean. They are clear. These are NEW TESTAMENT Scriptures for CHRISTIANS. They are God's instructions for us today. The problem is that you simply do not like what God says. You have an unbalanced understanding of God which is very typical of modern teachings. God is not just all about grace and forgiveness though that is very important to Him. God is also a Holy God. Is He Gracious? Yes but He is a Just God and cannot let sin go unpunished. Does He forgive sins? Of course He does but there are consequences to sin! He is also a vengeful God. He is also a Jealous God and does not allow any other gods before Him.
Job 2:10 But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips.NKJV
So are we fair weather Christians or are we prepared for the harsh times as well Kimberly?
Has God every allowed His children to suffer greatly? How many stories do we have in scripture that tell us of how God allowed serious hardships, torture and death upon His children?
How would you compare God allowing a wife to be verbally or mentally abused or publicly humiliated to God allowing Nero to have Christians fed alive to Lions or burned on crosses to light the road? Or what about God allowing Jerusalem to be surrounded in 70AD by Romans who first starved them to the point where the Jewish people were killing and cooking their own children so as not to starve to death!
What about when the Great Tribulation comes which may very likely be in our own lifetime, and Christians are going to be persecuted to death! Beaten, tortured and beheaded. Can you even come close to comparing those things?
Now let me also make something very clear here so as not to be misunderstood. I in no way condone the horrible actions of any one who treats their spouse badly. They should get counseling if possible. But those are not biblical grounds for Divorce and certainly not remarriage. My heart does truly go out to anyone who has been abused!!
While I find that everyone makes their point here, I have to side with divorce not being the unforgivable sin.
How many times does God say, "Their sins I will forrgive and their lawless deeds I will remember no more. I will be their God and they will be my people.And their righteousness will be mine.
Our righteousness does not come from anything we do or do not do, but from God Almighty Himself. I cannot do anything that will detract from God's righteousness, not even divorce.
Some will say that this thinking gives us a license to sin......I say, don't be absurd. How could you even want to behave that way in face of all that you have been given already, you couldn't.
Divorce is an awful, hurtful thing. It destroys people's lives. It can cause years of bitterness and anguish, but it is far from the unforgivable sin.
The point is that no one is saying that Divorce is an unforgivable sin. The point is that while God does forgive someone for unbiblically Divorcing, it does not mean that God says it's now ok to remarry. God made the conditions for REmarriage to be very strict.
Kimberly has been giving bad, unsound, unbiblical advise to women to go ahead and divorce their spouse for various abuse issues and other issues that are silly absurd and then it be OK to REmarry.
Her words: "I''ve already made a promise that when I marry Im not staying married to a man who's mentally, physically abuses me or my baby and if he is into porn, cheats, hangs out with lady friends over me, does drugs and drinks to get drunk and if he insults me in public I will tell him to pack his bag and leave. He's not loving me like himself and he's not loving me like Christ loved the Church so he has to leave.
Cheating was the only thing she mentioned that is biblical grounds for a divorce and the ability to remarry.
