Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 6 Nov, 2009 09:24 AM
Wanted to see other Christian views on this subject and any scriptures to back it up would be welcomed. Know someone who is considering doing this cuz God has placed in her heart to have a baby and since there isn't strong Christian man in her life who is interested in marriage she's considering other options..but refuses to get knocked up because she believes in purity until marriage. She want to please God and doesn't want to do anything to dishonor him. All view points wanted regarding this matter. Gbu:-)
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 11 Nov, 2009 10:14 PM
Good point, if God wants a man to be there to provide for his family, taking that out of the equation is in someway tell God that you know better than He does. I also think that if a man and woman make a decision together on adoption of a child, a man is much quicker to accept that child as his own than if he walks into a ready made family, in which case that child is always going to be "her child" as opposed to "our child" no matter how the child was conceived. Answer up on this men and tell me if I am in error on this, but I know given a choice, men prefer to be part of the process and not part of the conclusion or result.
Men truly are vital to the family in so many ways that the world denies. God didn't make a mistake about how he designs families and His idea of a family is to have one man married to one woman and then to be fruitful and multiply.
I think it is more important to concentrate on finding a man that supports your feelings to have this family you want in God's image. After all, through the Lord God Almighty, all things are possible, look at things with Abraham, Sara, and Hagar. When they tried to engineer the blessing, it didn't really work out that well for Hagar or her child. God's idea of a family, which he blessed was Abraham, Sara and Isaac. Hagar and Ishmael didn't really have it all that good. They suffered. And look how old Sara was when the Lord blessed her. How old is your friend? When things are in His Will, they do not have to be engineered for the Lord has it all figured out already. When we force our ways one the Lord God, the consequences generally are difficult, more so than we ever envision. God does not wish for us to suffer. Stand in Obedience unto Him, and He will have His own blessing that is perfect for you.
Twisting the Word to suit our wills never really works out because we cannot see the things that will result of what those actions will bring. I urge you to print out these answers and take them to your Pastor and have him pray with you and help you find the answers you seek on this. Also see the thread on choices that Ole Cattle started. Those gentlemen have some really amazing thoughts that will help you in discernment of your choices in general. There are truly some wonderfully inspired people on this site that are gifted in applying the Word. We are all here in support of you far more than you know as you go through making difficult decisions with friends.
Our friends often tell us what we want to hear, but family tells you the truth as kindly as they know how because they truly DO care.
I want to see people blessed by God when they stand in His Obedience in the Word, for I genuinely believe that He Will Not Fail those that seek Him, and our answers are not always the NO that we think they are, so much as they are Not Now.
Let God Help find that Father, and the Blessing of that Family will be so much sweeter than ANYTHING anyone of us could arrange on our own, and when you see that child with their "Daddy!" you will know the Lord helped you make the right decision.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 12 Nov, 2009 09:37 AM
I wouldn't know on if it's biblicaly wrong or not. But what are you gonna tell this child when he/she wants to know who there real father is and under anonymous you will never know who the father is.....What if this donated sperm has geneologicaly problems with it? just some considerations to think before your friend does this. Big thing to do is pray to god over this and let him lead the way. If it's in his will he will let you know that I am sure of.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 24 Nov, 2009 07:07 PM
Thankx again for all ur comments she's charging on with this procedure. She knows her love and the love of Jesus will bless this baby. She will make sure that her baby knows everything there is to know about the baby's Heavenly Father. The bible even says you can't love ur biological parents more than him. I don't believe it makes a difference if it's the biological father raising the baby any more than Grandpa, neighbor, stepfather, Sunday School teacher what have you. What matters is that the baby will be surrounded by positive Christian support and eternal love. The baby's father will be the best father of all...cuz it will be the Almighty Heavenly Father. No biological father or biological mother can compare to him.
She figures if the guy can't accept her and her baby as a package deal then he doesn't deserve them.
God is the ultimate Biological Father and Mother in one.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 25 Nov, 2009 05:04 AM
Sounds like both you and your friend have your mind made up and nothing anyone can say seems to have any affect on the decisions you have already made. Am really not sure why you asked unless it was to make you feel better if you could get anyone to agree with the perspective you have already arrived at some how. All the warnings have been given, so if you proceed forward together on this decision already knowing that it isn't fair to the child, I do wish you the best and I truly hope that you do not run head on into these problems that have been brought up, for I guarantee from having walked part of this path, that it is indeed more difficult than it seems before the rose colored glasses come off. You will need all the strength your Heavenly Father has for you and much of that will be found in obedience unto the Word, which you might start seeking and practicing right away, for you will need a good church family and support system, and many in the church will not support this decision any more than the support you found for your cause here.
I truly worry about the path you and your friend are choosing for this is a difficult world to bring a child into when they have both a father and a mother that love them, as well as a Heavenly Father. This is going to be so much tougher than you realize, and I know you both want to believe that your love is enough. The burdens that lay before this child might not be enough to be solved by that love, and that is not a decision you will either of you be able to control because it won't be your feelings that are bruised whenever those "Dad" moments come up, for there is no guarantee that you will ever find that "father figure" to adopt this family either.
Family decisions are not to be entered into lightly, and a choice to have children out of wedlock is not a good plan. Children are very cruel and when they find out that your family came from a sperm donor, that might be a real rugged cross to carry in middle school. But you won't carry it, the child will. You have a Dad that gave you a name and a heritage, they become a bigger science project than anything they can take to the science fair, and they will know it for their classmates will make sure of it. Not all of them maybe, but enough of them to make it hard, enough of them to make this child cry, and there will be nothing you can do, and when they lash out and wish they were never born, then perhaps you will understand as you worry that perhaps they might take their own life. Will it happen, I don't know, and neither can you, because we were not raised by a mother who has no idea who our father is, and most people don't even think science on a deal like that. And when you learn that the "looks" are hard to take, remember, they are even harder when you aren't big enough to stand up to it.
I BEG you SISTER, not to take this path!!! For your own sake and even more for the sake of this child. It is so very ill advised, and you truly do not seek guidance on this for the only means of procreation addressed in the Bible is sex and that is clearly intended only for the marriage bed. God doesn't specifically say you cannot use a test tube or a turkey baster or any other means, He only addresses sex for the marriage bed and procreation for that is HIS WAY.
If you insist on taking on your own self centered ways, do not expect your path to be straight or easy, this is one burden that will not be light. I have no doubt this child will be loved by those family members in his life, but to simply believe the child will be okay with this, well, frankly one thing every parent knows is that there are those times when the WORLD becomes your fault, and that is under the BEST case scenarios.
Please, Please, Please, do not do this. Seek our Lord's counsel to find HIS way, find a husband that will be a good and wonderful father ALWAYS to your child, for YOUR CHILD DESERVES THIS.
I do not say these things to be mean or cruel. I say these things for the Love and Happiness you seek in His Will. His will is not forced science to single parenthood. Please do not do this.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 25 Nov, 2009 09:08 AM
Tarasye has just given you the most heart felt -- spirit driven -- love born, advice you may ever get.
Just as you do not believe in abortion because you have no right interfering with God in the act of creation, you should also not interfere with God in the act of creation.
Telling yourself that all you are doing is providing something that God has not been able to and that God will bless you for it is not only petulantly childish but arguably criminal.
When someone takes their own wants and needs and desires while being Indifferent to the wants and needs and desires of a child is being more than Selfcentered. They have crossed over into "The Twilight Zone" where reality takes on a bizarre form.
God will and can do what He pleases, so I can not say with certainty that this child will not have an utterly miserable life, yet I would not roll the dice on it -- considering the possible outcome.
Statistics show that the Majority of men and women in our prisons come from a single parent home. Why? The answer is clear. No matter how hard and diligently a person strives to be both parents -- it does not replace one of the parents.
Add to that the fact that you never gave them the opportunity to even have spent a few years with their father and you have a built-in animosity that will rear it's ugly head in the teen years.
I have taken in a young boy of eight who never knew his real father when I married his mother. I loved him more than I loved myself, yet try as I could we never "bonded" like a biological father and son would have.
And eventually I heard "You are not my father!". I don't think I have ever felt deeper pain.
Looking back I can not really blame him. The first few years of any child's life are what mold them into the adult they will one day become. I was not there for those years. We never had that opportunity.
God in His Incredible Wisdom created a family with two parents.
As painful as it will be to perhaps never give birth, I fear that it will be even more painful to "create" your own birth -- outside of God's Will.
Again my prayers are with you that you may do the right thing for you and for the unborn children.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 25 Nov, 2009 02:36 PM
Thankx for sharing ur personal story Arch. That was very touching. I hold mothers responsible for picking bad fathers for their kids instead of waiting out for God's best. I could be like a lot of the women on board here if I married every man who proposed to me. I'm glad found an escape for me.
My friend is doing the right thing regardless of what you say we'll never be in agreement. She is sacrificing more by not marrying the men who want her cuz they don't meet God standards for her baby's father. It is going to be harder for her since she will be doing it solo but that's the price she's willing to pay for her baby. She's not going to settle for less than God's best and take the easy road and marry a man just so she can have a baby. That would be using the man.
I believe God will bring her to a man after the baby is born or even during her pregnancy. At least this way she's marrying the man not to get a baby out of him but marrying him for true love.
For those of you who don't seem to know what Intrauterine Insemination is I will explain and not get too graphic.
This is where a woman has a frozen sperm inserted in her uterus. The sperm still has to swim up to the egg so it's all up to God if fertilization of the egg takes place or not. So God is really making the baby not man. Plus she only has a 20% to 30% chance of getting pregnant. Thats very slim odds so it really is all up to God whether she gets pregnant or not.
She's considering home schooling her child also if that's in God's will and he provides the means.
I find this a very beautiful thing that I can't place into words and can't understand why you don't see the sunshine. This is a beautiful live baby that will be born out of this process by the hand of God. I'm ready to burst with joy and excitement.
When someone dies and the doctor uses technology to bring him back to life that is God bringing the man back to life not the Doctor. Yes, God can use modern technology to do his crafty work. This is how I view this procedure God is going to bless this technology for good and use the technology to create a real live precious baby. All things are possible with God. I keep saying this.
Time to get out of the stone ages. They now have a ministry where they're using Ipods to spread the Good News to impoverished country. I'm just so excited about all the amazing technology out. Don't be so quick to judge it when u all use modern technology whether it be a coffee maker, flat iron or microwave. Don't forget our cell phone technology can also be used for good and amazing things not all bad.
Finally, if she gets pregnant this way then it's God's will and if not. Then she will continue like she has and wait upon the Lord.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 25 Nov, 2009 05:03 PM
What you say reminds me of Sara and Abraham and Hagar. They didn't trust God either. Is your friend older than Sara was when she conceived? You you both believe so strongly in what you are doing, then why seek counsel here? You have asked but not listed to one word of counsel from anyone here. I see an arrogance in this and I am really not sure why you would think God would bless this when there is a refusal to trust God and an insistence to go forward and play god.
And how many times will you try? If you do not get your answer the first time, will you continue to try and try again? What would it take to convince you? Would a burning bush do it?
I guess the Bible doesn't specifically say, "Thou Shalt not use a sperm donor to have a child out of wedlock" because Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Adam, Moses, Noah, Abraham, and David would have had no idea what a "sperm donor" was and if they did, they would likely have been shocked and would have had no way to convey it without getting stoned or crucified for trying.
Just what kind of act of God would it take to convince you that your lack of Faith in God's process is your way and not His Way? What part of this plan sounds less crazy than a decision to walk across and LA freeway during rush hour? Yeah, you might make it, sure you might.
Maybe you will not answer for me why it is you seek wise counsel only to ignore every word of it, but you might think about your answer for someday someone much bigger than me might ask you the very same question, and He will not be ignored.
Nobody is telling anyone to marry an ungodly man to have a child, but why not seek one? Why not seek one first? What happens when you find him, and like Arch, he has had his heart ripped out before by a situation like this, for I doubt it will only be the child that says "You are not my DAD!!". In this arrogance there will likely also be a mom saying, "I am this child's MOTHER and he is MINE not yours." For if you will heed the counsel of no man (or woman), why ever would you accept the guidance of a Godly Husband if he did try to be a good father? If he did not agree with you on something, would you lean on the wise counsel of a Godly husband or would you say, "This is MY child"?
Not one word that you have written takes anyone into consideration other than the selfish desires of the mother. In fact in your last communication, it sounds like both you and your friend have serious issues with men in general if you both have all these men chasing after you and not one of them between you is Godly.
If God specifically send someone to tell you both, "PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!!!!" would you listen??? How would you know they were sent by God?
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 25 Nov, 2009 06:18 PM
Dear Kimberly, since you asked for others views and have gotten some opinions from some pretty respectable peoples who are and have been parents and gain gained some Godly insight that you don't just get from picking up a book and jumping in and doing it! Wouldn't you as a friend want to have your friend consider this a little longer? With much prayer? Is it really out of selfless love that she wants this baby or is it out of selfish desire because I want it right now and don't want to listen or wait? Can she honestly say with out a doubt this is God's will for her to go through with this procedure? If so, why ask for others opinions whether it is biblical or right? There's so much more to be considered, please be wise and pray more... in God's good timing not our own.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 28 Nov, 2009 07:56 PM
I'm not a follower of man or woman. I'm not a people pleaser. I'm only a Jesus pleaser. After all.......all men and women are sinners.
I do love to see how others think what makes them tick and believe the way they do. I find this fascinating even if I already know how I believe. I don't write posts on here to get people to change my mind at all. I'm on here to see why somebody is against something or why they believe the way they do?
Isn't that what a forum is for.. for people to express how they believe?
