Dictionaries define serial monogamy as a form of monogamy characterized by several successive, short-term marriages over the course of a lifetime.
I never knew there was a trend with this acronym until after my ex enthusiastically divorced me "from the blues".
Blame me folks, but I didn't research her before falling into "the will of God' with her. She's been twice married and divorced before becoming "born again" to meet me in church and employ smooth spiritual "thus says the lord" to lure me. Do I sound too much like a person suffering from victim syndrome? Probably - that's what the serial monogamist make you become after he/she is finished with you.
You are just one of the victims in their "murderous love" escapade.
The SM jumps in out of "love" at the drop of a hat. Oh, how fanatical they sound regarding spiritual matters - in fact, they sound like angels - sanctimonious and always in "God's presence". They erroneously believe God is on their side always, because "God knows my heart" - they whine!!
They have an unending trail of wounded lives who they are quick to demonize - of course, they must have reasons for every of the chains of divorces. Every other party is wrong - except the SM.
If someone has championed divorce: once, twice, thrice and counting - that is a sure sign of SM. Run!!
It is a different thing if it was not the individual who initiated or consummated the divorces - in that case, a victim.
One bad thing is that the SM makes the innocent spouse a fellow SM in the process if care is not taken to kill the trend.
My apologies. I'm in and out. I simply don't sit and monitor forums to see whether or not somebody agreed with my humble opinion based on any one topic. Most times, people argue over 'semantics' anyway. But thank you for agreeing this one time. :winksmile:
Gomer made some good observations and it's very true, we need to look inside when these things happen in our marriages. Yes, that person was narcissist or SM or bi-polar or any one of many personality disorders, but the bottom line is what am I drawn to and why?
People are deceived because they allow themselves to be. I was one and have done a lot of spiritual schooling, counseling and major internal homework with the Holy Spirit to change and allow Him to heal my old wounds that drew me to certain men that were the dad I never had in my broken little girl's heart.
I learned this in Elijah House and it has set me free.."It's not what happens in life but how you respond."
Children get deceived, sane or balanced adults allow it. Gut level truth.
It's that truth that has set me free and helped me to take responsibility for my own "closed ears" to the Holy Spirit in the past.
I did go through a stage of discussing the narcissist a lot, but that only kept my eyes on his baggage and allowed mine to stay out of view. We must confess our failures to grow up and stand up when satan sends some deceivers our way.
And, sometimes, you can be totally healthy and close to God, and satan will send one along anyway, so always pray for discernment and make NO quick decisons.
He whom the Son sets free, is free indeed. Selah :purpleangel:
You are absolutely WRONG in your unprofessional assessments and over-generalizations. You took the stand of a "professional" and shared basically unprofessional views that shifts focus from the discussion of a topic to an attack on the person - a logical flaw.
You could have done better if you approached the discussion from a purely intellectual, non personal perspective.
I have generated topics here to stimulate healthy discussions and I have been receiving personal messages from lives getting touched.
I am not a victim sending out an SOS.
You must learn how to be respectful to people, ok?
Thank you PreciousinHisSite for the experienced-based sharing which opens the mind to think wider.
I totally agree that the seducing spirit is so successful against believers in marital matters because we mostly jump in "heart-first" instead of "head-first" - we get so much emotionally/affectionately involved we'll believe just about anything from the object of our obsession. I guess we are all learning through our experiences - even though the tuition is so high.
Sanctifed intuition could have saved us from the tuitions...:laugh:
I don't know why Gomer deleted his profile. Sometimes ppl discover that they have too sensitive a nature to participate in a forum venue because they can't check their emotions at the keyboard. I wish there was a sad emoticon. :-(
Boaz, if your knowledge and testimony is helping ppl then glory to God, for real! But sometimes discussions do become personal. I don't think thats a bad thing. It becomes more of a one of one conversation between two opposing sides and ppl here will let that conversation take place and just observe. At the end, us being Christians and all, we should be able to come to sound conclusions, learn from one another and sometimes just agree to disagree.
If your direct communication with him above was enough to cause him to leave, then that was probably meant to be and a good personal decision for him. Again, this venue is not for everyone.
Bummer that Gomer left. :( He did contribute worthy discussion here, but like you said, Babygirl, some people don't dig the heat and leave the kitchen. I'm one that will say it once or twice and then when the kettle starts to boil over, I will turn down the heat or leave the kitchen. :laugh:
Boaz, for myself, when I stand in God's supreme court..I will not have to confess that I was deceived willingly by two narcissists, because I've already done that. Yes, my past neediness and woundedness played a part in that... and God in His infinite wisdom and mercy would call it what is was.
But, I have to own the fact the my "basic instructions before leaving earth" instructed me to marry a man "only in the Lord" and to seek God for that decision UNTIL I have an answer, which I did not do for my remarriage to my first husband and marriage to my second husband. My prayer was something like this:
"Dear Lord, I believe and ask you will bless my marriage to **** and with prayer and love, he will serve and love you more."
It is not my job to sanctify my man by marrying him, it's his to do before the marriage, but I always felt like I could lead him more into the holy walk, by loving him as Christ does us.
Now, that works at times (missionary dating) and if you are already married? That is your role and it is your role to pray that your partner humbles himself/herself to Christ and commits to working through every trial.
Eve was deceived by the serpent, but she had been told not to eat from that tree..why did she succumb? ~she bought the lie...willingly~ Did God the loving Father and judge let it slide or accept the blame game?
The goal of marriage is to imitate Christ and His church~Jesus died for us while we were yet sinners...but He did not marry us until we believed in and confessed Him.
If someone wants to marry Him for wrong reasons (motives) other than to love and serve Him, and even though He is betrothed or engaged (gives them a chance to prove that they love Him) to the 10 virgins (the church) will He actually marry all of them?
Matt. 25:10~And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut.
11:Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, 'Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!'
12: "But he replied, 'I tell you the truth, I don't know you."
There are a lot of things that can be said here, but these foolish virgins may have dated Christ at one time and called Him their fiance, but He knew their motives all along or perhaps they meant well in the beginning, but became too absorbed in self? I don't know... but He gave them time to change their ways and truly KNOW Him before He would marry them. (grace and mercy)
It takes me two times of meeting with a guy these days, and the Holy Spirit shows if He's right for me to marry.
I have tried a couple of times in the past and dated guys that professed to be Christians, but I knew by their beliefs and morals that they needed to know Him. So, I kept doing the "missionary dating" to help them see the wondrous love of God and to get God's approval of them as my true marriage mate. But I knew that God was saying no, because I finally listened to that still, small voice.
God help me to keep doing that. :rolleyes::purpleangel:
I guess this got off topic some and I apologize, Boaz. I will have to take it up in another thread. :glow:
there is no need to debate with you the ministry of deliverance. I'm not pushing my beliefs on you nor will Iargue about freedom from bondage with you. I've been on this site for about a year and been down that road several times. Debates go nowhere and they turn heated.
I will just say this:
Alot of ministers chalk up the ministry of deliverance as something that isnt needed or really doesnt work. I was in a church for 10 years that felt that way...but when i would go evangelizing to the shooting galleries (dope houses) demons would manifest everyone would run but me..I knew from the beginning of my walk with God that one of my gifts is deliverance.
you dont have to believe me, it doesnt bother me at all.
Also, I wasnt implying that every issue needs a deliverance session...I was correcting my first answer because I was being judgmental instead of loving and that is the problem with the "church" today, we judge instead of love.
i will not agree with someone who is obviously bitter toward another child of God. God loves her just as much as He loves you. It's not my job to judge her or anyone else. My job would be to get to the root of the problem and help her through it so that it would not be a reoccuring issue anymore.
yes i also believe that we give the devil credit where it isnt due but the reality is...there is always a root to our problems because somewhere, we are believing a lie or a wrong perception of something.
I've been involved with inner healing for many years. If you want to know more about it, msg me.
