Ask me anything you ever wanted to know about dating a Christian woman but are afraid to ask
Posted : 1 Feb, 2011 12:23 PM
Hello everyone:
I am writing a chapter in my book about dating and I have a section where I answer questions regarding dating in the 21 st century please ask me any question concerning dating and I will attempt to give you a Christ centered answer. Thanks so much!
Ask me anything you ever wanted to know about dating a Christian woman but are afraid to ask
Posted : 9 Feb, 2011 11:16 AM
In my experience, and from the people I've watched around me, the average relationship in the church is roughly a year from date #1 to tying the knot.
I haven't tied the knot, but in one situation the girl's mother was apparently so vehemently against me not having money right then for a fancy wedding I called it off-didn't want to be in a family like that, and in the other well...the girl was in bed with another guy a month before our big day so that didn't go so well.
But I also think for someone 18-28, 6 months is a bit short- 12-16 months is about right. The focus and point of courting/dating is marriage, if you can't see yourself marrying that person you are wasting your time, and theirs.
As for me and my question to you, OP-
Why does it seem that many Christian women are picky and choosy? When I start to think I have an attraction for someone, I pray about it, God reveals His wisdom, and either it's a green light or red light. I don't fuss about their job, status, looks, money, housing, or anything, but I've been declined on more than one occasion for just those reasons, that I'm not "settled" enough for her; when she is unemployed, lives with parents, and attending college just like myself.(Although I am employed and pay for my bills-and pay my parents rent.)
Ask me anything you ever wanted to know about dating a Christian woman but are afraid to ask
Posted : 10 Feb, 2011 02:35 AM
"Why does it seem that many Christian women are picky and choosy? When I start to think I have an attraction for someone, I pray about it, God reveals His wisdom, and either it's a green light or red light. I don't fuss about their job, status, looks, money, housing, or anything, but I've been declined on more than one occasion for just those reasons, that I'm not "settled" enough for her; when she is unemployed, lives with parents, and attending college just like myself.(Although I am employed and pay for my bills-and pay my parents rent.) "
I'm not sure if you meant to answer your own question or not. But you did.
You are picking a PERSON that you are attracted to. THEY are picking the ITEMS they are attracted to. They're decision to marry is only based on who can provide necessary items.... and nothing more. The person inside the man is irrelevant. So there is no reason to fuss over somebody who is only concerned about what you can "provide".... These type women are nothing more than "Country Club Christians"....
And as best as I can recall.... Jesus didn't exactly have a Birkenstock label on his sandals.....
Ask me anything you ever wanted to know about dating a Christian woman but are afraid to ask
Posted : 10 Feb, 2011 12:31 PM
Dear AbbyofFaith,
The Bible is clear about being "unequally yoked". When this was written, things were pretty cut and dry; you were either a Christian or you weren't. Seems nowadays it is not that simple. There are all kinds of denominations that think they have the corner market on truth. Which brings us to a evolved meaning of "unequally yoked". Although some will be quick to say we all believe in Jesus, they subconsciously feel the other person is wrong or not as 'matured' maybe even secretly questioning the others relationship with God. Throw in the reality of where to to to church as a couple and the man supposed to be the leader and you have a ticking time bomb.
In light of this do you think "unequally yoked" applies only to the Christian status are should it be applied to denominations as well?
Do you agree this is a sad state of affairs where two Christian cannot love each other because of denominational differences?
Ask me anything you ever wanted to know about dating a Christian woman but are afraid to ask
Posted : 10 Feb, 2011 03:37 PM
I agree with you wholeheartdly 1 year to about 18 months is a good amount of time to know whether someone you are courting is a suitable mate. You will have an opportunity to see what they are like in all seasons. They cannot put up a good front for that long. You will also have an opportunity to seek the advice of those who love you as well as your church family. My children are the best indicators of who I will spend my life with. My sons can tell me in less than 5 minutes if it's a red or green light. If they say green light we continue if its yellow we proceed with caution a red light is definately a no way!
As far as women being picky or choosy about their mate selection we women need security. We want to know that our man can provide for us. Especially since the Lord ordained that the man should work. Besides when we have children we may want to stay at home and take care of them. How would we do that if our man isn't bringing home the bacon for us to fry in a pan.
Your situation is a bit different you are in school. People in college typically don't have money male and female. Wait to you get out of school and have worked a few years and when you are dating again to marry their will be more choices of women who will love you for more than your money. Right now have fun dating and getting to know lots of different people. No worries!!!
Ask me anything you ever wanted to know about dating a Christian woman but are afraid to ask
Posted : 10 Feb, 2011 03:48 PM
Mr. Two Sparrows:
Unequally yoked specifically in the bible refers to an unbeliever marrying or being in relationship with an believer. We are not suppose to as Christ followers proceed in a relationship with someone who is not a Christ follower what fellowship does like have with darkness?
On the other hand you can also be unequally yoked in spiritual maturation. There may be a man who has been in Christ for over 30 years who should have a mature walk with God. If he meets a woman who is a Christ Follower for a few years there can be a problem. The Bible only speaks about this as it relates to marriage as being unwise to proceed. If we are in Christ we should ask the Lord for wisdom concerning the relationship and he will give it to us liberally.
Personally I would not marry a man who isn't growing in his relationship with Christ whether he's been a Christ follower for 30 years or 3 years. You can have a man or woman who just received Christ and who are more on fire for the Lord and his ministry more than any individual who has been walking with him for 20 years or more.
Ask me anything you ever wanted to know about dating a Christian woman but are afraid to ask
Posted : 10 Feb, 2011 03:54 PM
One more thing Mr. Twosparrows denominationalism is not from the Lord that is a man made idea. Find your wife whether she is Catholic, Pentecostal, Baptist, Lutheran, Metodist, Church of Christ, African Methodist Episcopal, Presbyterian, Church of God in Christ etc.....
Ask her two things has she accepted Christ as her personal Saviour and will she endeavor to live a life worthy of his calling? Everything else is negotiable.
We are looking for perfection and we won't find it.
