Thread: for lack of a better term: "arranged marriages"
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for lack of a better term: "arranged marriages"
Posted : 5 Jan, 2011 09:22 AM
Ok I didn't want to hijack one of the threads in the moral standards category, so I am starting a new one. Cobbler made a good point about people just being honest and wanting to get married and that is what they are persuing.
I have thought about I Cor 7:9 before.
but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
What interest me is "let them marry". It is just being matter of fact. Just go find a wife. It doesn't have the US model of marrying for love (how far has that got us with a 50% divorce rate?). Hey you want a US husband, I want a wife. Ok, lets make an arrangement. Here are some agreed about grounds. We can both live with those agreements? Ok, lets get married. We will both commit to working at it and making it work.
Laying aside the whole trust issue for a moment (is she lying just to get here and then will abandon the marriage), what would be wrong with that? I'm with Cobbler, if I could get past that trust issue, I may very well be up for it. Your thoughts?
PianoGal --- I�m right there with you, girl! Why do guys take to the hills when you tell them you are serious? Sheesh!
Cobbler � that part of �Fiddler� always made me sad. That they had to think about it so much. Not too sad --- just a little sad.
My take: this is a pretty good idea, actually. One of the conditions/qualifications I would put for myself would be to wait three months before marrying, and we would have to meet each other�s family and friends (as many as possible). I need to know my support that I already have is going to be behind the union and support it/me/him.
You have to remember the culture they were in. Marriage wasn�t about love, it was about obligations. I am sure that they knew they were in love long before, they just never sat down and thought about it. It is a bit sad that it took them so long to sit down and say it to each other. Like they said, it doesn�t change anything, but it is nice to know.
It is a great movie. My favorite line is when Tevye is arguing with the young communist who states that money is a curse. I love his response: �If money is the curse of this world, then may God smite me with this curse, and may I never recover.�
The moral of the movie is that tradition can be a comfort through hard times. But, if you don�t remember the reasons behind the traditions then you will not know how to deal with new situations. Tevye kept having to deal with troubling issues, but his only answer was tradition.
That is one of the blessings of Christianity, while we have our traditions, we also have plenty of principals to guide us through new situations.
"When asked how he was really doing during a phone call while still in boot camp, the answer I got was:
"Ma...I am the only one of 75 men who doesn't drink and sleep around and now they all know it, how do you THINK I AM?!?! I can laugh now, but I could Feel that kids emotions!"
I wanted to make sure this quote didn't get overlooked. I feel vindicated.
I was young at 22, fresh from college, tried the big city so far away from home. I encountered trouble at my first job, not at work but with my job sponsor. He was 35, our senior engineer, good looking, seemed nice, seemed to sympathize, offered me marriage. We got married before we date, I thought I will learn to love him. Four years I tried but he never gave me chance.
So, I think arranged marriages will work if both find each other agreeable, lovable, harmonious to live with.
