Author	Thread: The "Spark"
elgas View Profile History	The "Spark" Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 07:07 AM I have been on a couple of first dates that the girl said she did not feel a spark between us, and did not want to meet for a second date. Now I am the type of person that, gennerally speeking, people don't feel that spark until later. What do I and other people like me do? Post Reply
View Profile History	The "Spark" Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 09:45 PM And by 'chore' I don't mean never arguing or disagreeing. I mean that 'drippy faucet' ackward feeling you get when somebody isn't being open. Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	The "Spark" Posted : 28 Dec, 2010 05:38 PM I think others have nailed it. The first time you meet someone, make it not a date. Make it meeting. Do something you both like doing; talk; get to know one another. When it's over, you can review and see if you want to see each other again. All real feelings take time. I remember when I started to suspect that there was some hope for a relationship between myself and a girl in high school -- we hung out a lot and one day it just felt like there was electricity in the air. That didn't happen the first time we met and we didn't even have a first date until a few weeks after that; the feelings grew and grew inside of me until I had to ask her out. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	The "Spark" Posted : 31 Dec, 2010 10:27 AM Yeah, the "spark" is definitely overrated. I wouldn't turn down a second date just because the first date didn't create sparks. (Of course, if I genuinely didn't like the guy, or if the whole thing was just uncomfortable, I might not agree to a second meeting.) But if he was nice, we got along ok and seemed compatible in most areas, and I had a nice time, I'd certainly agree to a second meeting/date. It just takes longer to get to know some people. Sparks might never fly, but a flame can start without sparks...something can just get hotter and hotter until it starts smoldering and finally burning. Oh yeah, and sometimes sparks can blind a person to the reality of things...and cause a lot of problems down the road. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	The "Spark" Posted : 2 Jan, 2011 12:17 AM Two has some really good advice. All I can really add to it is to be authentic with the women you are around. When you do something, do it because you enjoy doing it, and not because you want to get the girl to like you because of it. You're going to attract a woman based on who you are and what you represent, not what you say or do. Post Reply

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