ZaqHydN�s Top Ten list of Online Dating Tips for Christians:
Posted : 20 Sep, 2010 09:19 PM
ZaqHydN�s Top Ten list of Online Dating Tips for Christians:
0. Let me start off by saying that I�ve grown up with technology, especially the kind of BBS like system that is used for online dating. I ran a BBS back in the late 80s through the early 90s, pre-internet; before smileys had noses � and we drew ASCII using the ALTkeys.. (L���L G�d) and have experiences a lot of observations about online dating before it was point-and-click or pretty. These are the culmination of more than 20 years of simple observations mixed with things that make sense. If you dig them, cool � if not, then feel free to make your own list. :D Off we go:
1. Please don't post your baggage in your bio.. starting out by discussing the fact that you've been hurt, wrung, whatever is pure evidence that you haven't recovered from it, regardless of what you say afterwards - the deed is done.
2. We're all here looking for that "someone special" (hopefully to marry one day, and hopefully for more than just one day).. Seeking God's will poses an interesting catch to this online dating thing.. Are you seeking Gods will, or are you seeking your will? I always ask myself that, it�s a challenging question when there's a place for someone that isn't there yet..
3. "Shopping Lists" and special requests.. Dear God, I'd like a 6' tall long-blond hair, blue-eyed magnificent work of art that won't cheat on me, doesn�t care about worldly things and ... blah... It's not good form to post a list of criteria that someone has to meet in order to contact you - that's almost like shopping for a car.. God will give you what you desire in your heart so long as we walk with Him.. Try it.
4. It still astounds me that people continue to post, "Looking for an honest person that loves God" and the like here.. Duh. I'm just sayin.. let's be real - we are ALL looking for that, and when I read that, I instantly get the impression that someone has trust issues.. Look for key phrases in replies, like "to be honest..." or "honestly..." and, "to tell the truth..." or "truthfully...". Frankly, if someone has to announce or prepare you for a moment of truth, then what about everything else they say? Right?
5. People that love God make it evident. It's really that simple and you shouldn�t have to ask.
6. Judge not lest ye be judged. I couldn�t put it any simpler.
7. Vengeance and Justice belongs to the LORD. Gossip is a sin. Posting about other people here against their character, regardless of its validity is simply gossip. Unless it�s a serious situation, like a serial-shammer or a dangerous person, the topic should be brought to an authority, not to the public. For one, it instantly opens the door for more gossip, retaliation, revenge or even judgment and condemnation. It�s just not right, and in some cases it may be illegal. Google �Defamation of Character� or �Libel� if you need help with that.
8. Serial Dating is unhealthy. Take your time, recover between each experience. Not a single one of us is powerful enough to �brush-off� an experience that didn�t work out in a few days or even a month or two. Take time to Stop, Disconnect and Pray about the experience before getting back into the water. Who knows, perhaps you did meet the love of your life, the one God set aside for you, and maybe the enemy saw that profound merger as an opportunity to steal your joy, to lie to you and deceive you into misunderstandings, and perhaps even to tragically murder a divine appointment of two Godly people set aside for each other. If you can�t give it a second thought or a chance, you might need a �love, forgiveness & mercy� workshop.
9. Parallel dating. That�s just not right. How am I going to trust someone to be a loyal partner for life when the inauguration of our dating experience is the opposite. If you�re parallel dating, that is, dating more than one person at a time, either in person or even online, then there�s obviously something missing from one or both of the people. Move on. Find someone to give your heart to. People will say �Guard your heart�, and that is good, against the enemy, not against people. God says love others as you love yourself. How am I going to blindly give my heart to God, someone I�ve never met or even seen face to face, yet selfishly keep it from the one person on earth that might be the partner God has for me until they prove themselves worthy? Just pick one tho. :)
10. Pouring your heart out on fresh experiences.. Hmm.. Am I being desperate, lonely or am I crazy? Keep your emails generally friendly, and talk about common interests for a while before bringing out the old divorce case files and rules on sex before marriage (SBM is a sin, I wouldn�t recommend doing it). If you develop enough of a connection to start getting personal and bringing the kids into the picture, then pray about it first, because once you start getting seriously personal, you�re dating online. Save the personal stuff for the one that can truly understand you for who you are.
There, that�s not all my thoughts on online dating, but it�s a list. What do you have to add?
God bless your quest, Make it a Great Day and bring glory to God in all we do!
C. �ZaqHydN� Shaffer
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�Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.�
ZaqHydN�s Top Ten list of Online Dating Tips for Christians:
Posted : 28 Sep, 2010 08:25 AM
I have to say this list sums up a majority of what I felt for a very long time but never put it into words. Bravo sir :applause: and I think this should be a post everyone should read before coming to a dating site or dating in general.
ZaqHydN�s Top Ten list of Online Dating Tips for Christians:
Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 01:35 AM
i've read your top 10 and I think your info. is excellent, you make me feel good as a new visitor to see that this site is really geared for christian not a fake... God bless you and your ministry....I have a message I'd also like to share, visit my website when you get a minute...jesusspeaks09.webs.com.......thanks
