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Profile Writing Tip
Posted : 10 Sep, 2007 06:30 PM
I'm tempted to put this in the "Define Love" topic...
I want to suggest that instead of naming off every last possible adjective you could use to describe your ideal mate, that instead, you tell everyone here what you have to offer. I mean, we all want "the one" (or "a one" or something like that), right? We all want "kind, generous, faithful, honest..." But how many of us can say all those things about ourselves all, or even most, of the time, for real? Would people we aren't close to, people who we're less likely to "perform for," describe us that way? Are we really here looking to give love, or just to get it from others?
I can understand why, even if we are loving people, we'd still wind up on a singles site: people in our personal lives have either been too serious or not serious enough, so we all came here to give this place a whirl. But as I've read through so many profiles, even my own, I've just noticed a serious trend: it's like at least half of us don't belong here, because we're too needy and not willing or able to give of ourselves nor to give the benefit of the doubt to anyone else. Which is totally unhealthy.
I'm not asking anyone to lie on their profile! I'm asking that we take good looks at ourselves, because in the end it's doing this that will make a difference in our own love-lives, and ask ourselves, "What am I willing to give? What do I even -have- to offer in the first place? What lengths am I willing to go to after I've met someone, in the hopes that they're the right one for me, rather than only being willing to go to those lengths if I already think they are the right one for me?"
I'm asking everyone here to think of two random people at a table in a restaurant or diner, who maybe know a little -about- each other, but haven't actually met in person before. How in the world can those two possibly have a hope if they aren't both open, giving, reasonably trusting, loving people? Both. Not just him. Not just her. Not just you or me.
So, I'm upping the ante around here. Please say what you have to offer and keep your requirements for some wonderful friend/date/spouse to a minimum, or better yet, try not to have any at all, 'cause no matter what you do, if you have rules for other people to keep or else you won't like them as people, you're always going to be disappointed. That's one thing I've learned the hard way - it's not about the other person being some great, wonderful human being who's this, that, or some other list of adjectives. It's about both people reaching out to each other and being willing to give and receive from each other. Otherwise, we're all a bunch of clanging cymbals, right?
Heh. Now, I'm going to go figure out if I even ought to -be- on a singles site or not. I mean, I'm not really even sure how much I have to offer in the first place, aside from being very brainy. And I can fix your PC, lol! Ok, ok, I have an emotional and loving side too. Haha - I'm kinda like Mr. Spock on pot :P
Truth is, I struggle with this stuff. I'm guessing that a lot of us do.
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