Author	Thread: Help...I really don't know what to do anymore....
Admin	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 15 Jun, 2010 04:07 PM I've been longing to find a good hearted christian woman to settle down with and spend the rest of my life with. I really really want someone special to love and cherish. Also I really really want to have a family someday and raise my children in church. I've asked the Lord so many times for a good christian mate but I haven't found her yet trusting in him or looking myself. I am at my wits end and I just don't know anymore. I'm about to be 24 and I feel like I'm going to endup spending the rest of my life alone without ever knowing true love, having that special someone to love to hold and to cherish for the rest of my life. I long for my best friend and my mate in one. My heart screams for her. I try to focus on seeking the Lord and everything else in my life but I just get so lost longing for a mate but I never find her. I'm just so sick of being alone and just so so sick and tired of everyone else being so happy with a mate and belssed with children and all while God seems to have forgotton me. Believe me I'm happy for them but why not me?? Why can't I have a good hearted christian mate and my own family? Post Reply
View Profile History	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 17 Jun, 2010 01:46 PM Hi Steven. How are you? We are in the same problem.. but i told you the last day... God is with you.. you are not alone.. you need to understand that.. =) :waving: God bless you my friend. Post Reply
View Profile History	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 17 Jun, 2010 10:49 PM Steven, If you were expecting a Beautiful Hispanic Lady over to your place for dinner, my guess is that you would have your place as spotless and as well prepared as humanly possible. You yourself would be bathed, clean shaven and "smelling good". So...treat the life you have the same way! Prepare yourself by "walking" with Jesus and by applying yourself to achieve whatever Goals you have set. Be the best Man you can be and I assure you that the woman will notice. Be Confident...be Humble...Be Trustworthy Be Kind and Gentle...yet Strong. You get the idea! Be the Best you can and Always...ALWAYS Trust in God and the rest will just fall into place in God's Time. Peace -- Out! Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 19 Jun, 2010 08:10 PM :buddies:Cool southern night, I feel the EXACT same way!!! No joke!! I'm 25, soon to be 26 and I have never had a girlfriend and have only gone on two dates and one was prom and was EXTREMELY awkward...I don't think she really wanted to be there. Anyway, I too feel sometimes that God has kind of forgotten about me in this area. Kind of like He has a planned for me but that He lost when Heaven went from hard copies to electronic copies!! I have met some women on here but nothing serious has ever developed...it is really depressing and DOES NOT help your confidence the older you get and still waking up everyday being alone! I feel your pain Cool-S and I too long for that special someone. I pray for God to guide me to her or her to me...whaterver His Will may be and yet my birthday is coming up in another month and I face turning another year older and still being alone... The only encouragement I can give you is don't give up, continue being you, and at least your not going to be 26 and still single this year!! Hears to us bro!! Finding who God has planned for us!!:buddies: (I don't drink though,haha!) Post Reply
View Profile History	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 19 Jun, 2010 10:42 PM Yeah, I've only been on like one so called date but the chick had her dad and brother with her so I don't really consider that a date date. Kinda sad. Also we worked together. I guess a lot of girls think I'm attractive at first glance, not many but yea, but then it seems after they get to know me they lose anykind of attraction for me because of my insecurities. But like you said the older you get and the more rejection you endure just kills your confidence. One thing I learned though is internet dating usually doesn't work. Like people can say anything on here and lie. I mean people lie enough in real life but they seem to lie even more on here. I guess the real reason I got on here is I was hoping to find someone since I don't get out much and all but I haven't found any local women on here actually interested in me. I guess the only real thing I can do is to try to live my life the best I can and pray God sends me the one he has for me. It's not easy but it's probably the only thing I can do. And yea it really sucks waking up every morning and realizing your alone. Like I don't even have any buds or anything to keep me company so my aloness is at an all time high. Also I don't have much going for me right now either so I'm so depressed and that's a huge turn off for women. Like I'm in college but I don't have a job or any real hobbies or other destractions to keep me busy. Sadly enough I was drinking to feel the void of my emptiness but now I drink just to kick back. Well hopefully God will send you and me both someone soon. I really pray for that. I mean really we've both waited a long time already. Sometimes I just get so mad at God like why do you want me to suffer so much, to long so much, why am I having to endure all this pain of being alone and never knowing the love of a woman. Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 20 Jun, 2010 08:42 AM Again man I feel ya!! I play guitar because I thought it might attract the ladies, well it didn't but now I just enjoy playing. I bought a truck thinking it would bring in the ladies cause a truck is more manly than a care yet now I just have a truck but at least I can haul my canoe!! anyway...I know your pain and frustrations!! Hang in their brother! I too can't seem to attract local women...not sure what's up, but I know its not me...don't want to sound cocky, but I know who and what I am and I am a good decent man...so yeah hang in there. Post Reply
View Profile History	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 20 Jun, 2010 04:11 PM I mean I know right now isn't really the best time to even try and start a relationship because I still have so much of my life to straighten out, issues and stuff. Despite that though I still feel as if I'm never going to have it fully together, like I'm just never going to find her and even if I do I feel like I'm going to do something to mess it up. I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. Also it's bad but I'm a little picky when it comes to women. I mean I like em to be attractive of course but there's all kinds of attractive really. I mean some women have that perfect body, some are so sly or witty or just plan smart, some have attitude, some are funny, some are just so loving. Guess what I"m saying is I think I know what I want but really at the same time I don't know what I want from a woman. And I know I need to atleast get my issues worked out with God and have somekind of job and life before I bring a woman into the mix but I can't help but notice that people put too much emphasis on money in a relationship and stuff. I know you need money to live but some people seem to only get married for it, some sense of security and all. And that and other stuff really makes me wonder if any of the marriages are ordained by God or just are based on lust and money, etc. I really don't know anymore. I mean people don't seem to care about the stuff that really matters anymore.... Post Reply
theDave View Profile History	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 23 Jun, 2010 12:18 AM Lots of great advice so far! Dude, I'm gonna give you the best advice I can: Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you. Develop a close relationship with God. Discover your calling. Run the race. When you do this your confidence will soar! If you can't be happy alone with the Holy Spirit as your partner and comforter then you will NEVER be happy with a woman. Never. I've been where you are! I made women into an idol and put them in God's place! The problem is that no matter how high you stretch your arm you will never be able to reach God. Same thing applies to women when you place them in on such a pedestal. Three years ago I made the change. Started seeking God. I became confident in Him and realized that He's gifted me far beyond what I could have ever thought. I never knew that I was a leader, that I was intelligent and creative... that I have a passion. Seek God and find out what it means to live for Him and people will be drawn to you! Post Reply
theDave View Profile History	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 23 Jun, 2010 12:37 AM Also you're trying too hard! Women are like spiders! Chances are they are more scared of you than you are of them! I already know: you're afraid to approach women, when you do (and I'm pretty sure this only happens when you absolutely have too) you hunch your shoulders, you look down, you mumble, you have your arms crossed, you talk fast and you apologize a lot. You ask, "Is everything okay?" or "Are you okay?" or "Is anything wrong?" Stop apologizing. Look her in they eyes (and tell her that hers are the fourth prettiest you've seen all day! when she gasps at your audacity, concede and say they are the third prettiest!) SMILE!!! Posture is power. Shoulders back. Back straight. Uncross your arms. Palms out. As you're talking to her put your hand on her shoulder, move in for a side hug (but don't squeeze) and then lead her to a place that the two of you can talk. In conversation, find a way to connect! Use something close by. If your at church, "What did you think of the sermon?" "Wasn't worship was awesome?" or at Starbuck's, "What's your favorite drink?" If you're afraid to approach ask yourself these four questions: What would happen if I talk to her? What would happen if I don't talk to her? What wouldn't happen if I talk to her? What wouldn't happen if I don't talk to her? You like hispanic chicks so practice on non-hispanic chicks. Have fun! Be positive! Don't be too nice! What I said in my previous post is the most important but these are some people skills that you can work on in the mean time. I love you man! Pursue God! Post Reply
jmae View Profile History	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 25 Jun, 2010 11:36 PM Dude sometimes I feel the same way... because to tell you the truth my love life is a little sad... but my love life with God is not. :applause: It's hard to see that yet another friend is getting married or now even my cousin who is just six months older than I is having a baby. But, at the same time I fully trust that God is taking care of my man for me wherever he may be and pray for him often. I'm not interested in playing around and I know that when the time is right God'll make it happen. God has been leading me on quite the journey and one of these days the one he has intended for me will cross my path. I'm a very patient person, but sometimes its hard to be so patient. At the same time I'm not going to sit on my butt about it - I've got much to do =) and many ways that I want to grow as well. Pray about it and don't turn your head to something that God may be trying to show you that might not be what you think. God bless in your journey =) Post Reply
View Profile History	Help...I really don't know what to do anymore.... Posted : 6 Sep, 2010 01:24 PM theDave: I know you didn't quite say the favorite quote that people like to say "As long as you have God in your life, you are never alone.", but you did come fairly close to it. I completely disagree with the concept that all one needs is God. If you look at Genesis 2:18, you will see that God disagrees with that statement. All Adam had in his life was God, and what did God say about it? Two things: 1) Adam was alone. That's right, if it is just you and God, then you are alone. 2) That is was not good. He did not say to Adam that he had the gift of loneliness (... er I mean gift of singleness), He said that it was not good for him to be alone. If you look in the Bible where it speaks of singleness in a positive light, it is always for the purpose of serving God full time. If you are not serving God full time, then you should be married. The other reason why I don't like that statement is because you are essentially stating that, yes, they are alone because even you are not willing to be their friend. Post Reply

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