What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 7 Nov, 2009 09:05 PM
I tend to keep the same screen name online from place to place, as it makes me easy to find, and people get to know who they are talking to. I must say however, that I find it terribly rude and presumptuous of people however to just assume its perfectly fine to contact me on private chat, acting like some how they know me, when they do not, and often times they obviously don't know me for the insulting way they address me. Just burns me every time.
Tonight some guy who says he checked out my profile on this site, contacts me on yahoo chat, and his very first words are "Hey Sexy!"
Trust me on this one, if some guy walked up to me and said that, there is a very good chance he would walk away with a neck injury when I slap him really hard. That is not an opening line that works on me at all, in fact I find it insulting.
If the first thing a man does is undress me with his eyes, that is one fact he'd best be smart enough to keep to himself. When I see someone I think is attractive, I might think they are cute and want to know more, but immediately presume they would want me to address them as a stud muffin, or any other sexual derogatory term, well that just tells me one thing. Someone is not the Christian they are claiming to be. For the only man I will ever want to call me sexy, will be my husband (note: NOT my FUTURE husband), and that will only be in the privacy of our own home between us where it is special and it means something.
I would never insult a person in that manner, and then think they would even want to speak to me, yet I get this at least once every couple of weeks or so.
So men, if this sounds the least bit like a tactic you would ever consider, think of this as really good advice. Stick to the site and contact the person you are interested in with a polite and respectful interest.
If I wanted to be treated like live stock at the auction barn, I would frequent the many sites that cater to that type of thing.
I thought perhaps starting this thread, others can list their true peeves as well, and maybe ignorantly online challenged might learn something in the area of manners.
Thank you my friends for letting me sound off on this. I find such behavior so totally inappropriate, and if anyone else out there would like to add to this list of what really ticks them off, maybe we can improve expectations for successful online dating anyway.
What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 02:54 AM
No, but I used to work in our 911 center for a short period of time and one night this intoxicated woman calls in and just wants us to know that the guy she had just "slept" with might be calling in from the Cloud Nine Motel saying she had robbed him, but she just wanted to let us know that she had NOT robbed him, that he owed her that money fair and square, but had passed out and she was afraid if she waited around, he might not remember when he woke up.
What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 09:37 AM
Hey T,
I've experienced it too.and I'm really surprised that it came from believers whom in their profile they tend to be soooooo impossible to see us more than a sister in Christ.at first it bothered me a lot since it happened pretty often,and we girls could differentiate whether its an expression of admiration or lust.and I'm not sure by saying that word sexy they meant it by anythin but lust.
Now,I dun wanna take things in a serious way anymore.I'd rather thinkin that I am a blessed daughter of God equipped with a blessed healthy body(I think most of sexy people are in a gud shape means they're considered to be healthier,imho!).so whatever they have in mind,its their problem with God,I'm not involving with judgement here.but I find it easiest just to stop talking with those kind of guys and I could continue smiling and be confidence upon myself and my body.plus those kind of guys aren't worth our attention,let's move to guys who admire the daughter of God :D
What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 01:08 PM
Ladies,
Men that throw the word "sexy" around ilke it meant hello have either a misguided "good ole boy" notion they're Elvis reincarnated or an erotic veiw of the word. To them it means sex. Pure and simple. To them "sexy" has a sexual or erotic connotation. If a woman accepts that from a man he feels she is agreeing with him and is open to further discussion.
To be fair though, the word has also become to mean -- interesting or appealing -- which escapes me as to the dual sense of the word.
How does a woman diffrentiate between the two meanings?
To me "sexy" is an intimate and personal word although I think Bull Dogs are sexy (appealing) and Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood....
What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 02:49 PM
Archemedes,
In all fairness, I have to agree with Chris on this one. You definition of sexy, leaning toward "interesting" still brings forth a connotation of toward a point of lustfulness. Like the "stern libratian" who corrects with a "shhh!" then goes behind the book case and throws down her glasses, lets down her hair and rips of her clothes like they've been dipped in acid. Sexy librarian is still seen more as a sexual connotation than someone being interested in her mind.
The world twisting this lustful connotation is a sexual soft sell, just like so many other 'political correct" terms have been developed to soft sell no different really then "I'm going in for a procedure" can mean "I going to have an abortion" which is no different than "I have decided to murder the life inside me". No doubt if you tell your Pastor any of the three, he will probably pray for you, but only the first one will safely not get you kicked out of your church.
We soft sell sex, murder, greed, all forms of abomination, and make it politically correct to support and somehow "WRONG!" to oppose.
I will stand. It's wrong. Do not call me something I reserve for a husband to say to me, and no one else. If you think I am interesting, tell me I am interesting, but reserve sexy for your dog, for somehow I am not really certain Mr Rodgers would really appreciate it all that much either.
What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 03:56 PM
Arch and Tarasye,
What I'm trying to say is,its better for me to take it easy.before now it insulted me a lot and got under my skin,but now rather than looking at it as somethin that could get under my skin,I find it better to just take things easy and look at it as an appreciation.I know its nothin but lust but for my own sake,I'm not letting small things to insult me :p
What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 05:00 PM
dear folks, tellin someone theyre sexy usually has a sexy thought behind the words.. now i aint perfect and have used the term and had them thoughts before when i used the term.. so it really aint the best thing to be sayin to someone thats not got your same last name.. hehe
i must say though that if a woman is talked to that way and she says nothing about it even though she knows its wrong ,, then shes basically makin the statement that its ok for one to talk to her like that.. so ladies do speak up.. let folks know that its not alright to be spoken to like that by someone not your husband..
and the same goes for a man bein spoken to in such a manner.. as that does happen too.
What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 06:15 PM
I really have enjoyed reading your comments.As for pet dogs and cats,I just could not say my cats are sexy.Even if simebody else thinks bulldogs are.:ROFL: My cats are Kool. They are funny and one of them gets to sleep with me at night.She curls up at my feet.
:peace: If I have feelings for a lady she will not be told until I am getting ready to ask her to marry me. Until then she is my sister.:waving:
What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 09:05 PM
rude behavior aside the comments of sexy and such: i feel its very rude to quick "talking" with someone after a few times without letting the other person know that you are no longer interested. ESPECIALLY if there have been conversations on the phone.
As for responding to every interest (wink/messages). I don't find it's rude when someone doesn't acknowledge my interest. No different than if i was at a social gathering. Every smile doesn't get noticed or desired.
What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 19 Nov, 2009 10:47 AM
Golden,
If someone walked by you in church, looked at you and said "Hello" to you, then you looked at them and then you turned your head away without a kind response, just ignored them, would that not be rude behavior on your part?
So how is it any different from someone who writes a nice note to you, you read it, maybe even look at their profile and then you simply ignore them or delete their message to you and then you ignore them. Is that not equally as rude? It is very rude and demonstrates a lack of respect.
How difficult is it to send a courtesy reply to someone who was kind to you?
Is intentionally ignoring someone a demonstration of real Christian love? I don't think so. How we treat others is a direct reflection of our love or lack of love for Christ our Savior.
Here's a principle that all of us need to fully embrace. This is a long quote by Jesus but important to make the point here. We can apply this principle directly to this situation and any situation in how we treat others.
Mat 25:31 "When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory.
32 All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats.
33 And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.
34 Then the King will say to those on His right hand, 'Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35 for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in;
36 I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.'
37 "Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink?
38 When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You?
39 Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'
40 And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, YOU DID IT TO ME.'
41 "Then He will also say to those on the left hand, 'Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels:
42 for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink;
43 I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.'
44 "Then they also will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?'
45 Then He will answer them, saying, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, YOU DID NOT DO IT TO ME.'
46 And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." NKJV
James 2:20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? NKJV
1Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be COURTEOUS; NKJV
What is your idea of rude behavior with online dating??
Posted : 19 Nov, 2009 03:48 PM
Hey Cattle,
Thanks for the tips.yes I apply it to online talks(or I would just ignore them),I'd say it bluntly that I didn't like the way they called me in that kind of way.but to offline talks(means daily life) I can't apply that since I can't tell every guy that do it to me,I can't stop buy just to talk to them.plus I didn't think its wise to do that.since everyday in my life when I walk by there must be any guy who insulted me by commenting on somethin about me,or making noises,or whistling(why guys always make noise when a lady pass by?),so now on I dun wanna care bout it or even thinkin bout that.
Yeah but thanks for the advice,I'd speak up more on possible situation! :D
Hey Walter,thanks for the statements also,bcoz of ur statements I'm trying my best to treat others better and appreciate what they're doin nicer :)
