The Bible nowhere explicitly states at what point God considers a man and a woman to be married. Due to the Bible’s silence on this matter, identifying the precise moment a man and woman are married in God’s eyes is a complex undertaking. Here are the three most common viewpoints: 1) God only considers a man and a woman married when they are legally married—that is, when they become husband and wife in the eyes of the law. 2) A man and a woman are married in God’s eyes when they have completed some kind of formal wedding ceremony involving covenantal vows. 3) God considers a man and a woman to be married at the moment they engage in sexual intercourse. Let’s look at each of the three views and evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of each.
1) God only considers a man and a woman married when they are legally married. The scriptural support typically given for this view is the command to obey the government’s laws (Romans 13:1–7; 1 Peter 2:17). The argument is that, if the government requires certain procedures and paperwork to be completed before a marriage is recognized, then a couple should submit themselves to that process. It is definitely biblical for a couple to submit to the government as long as the requirements do not contradict God’s Word and are reasonable. Romans 13:1–2 tells us, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.”
However, there are some weaknesses and potential problems with this view. First, marriage existed before any government was organized. For thousands of years, people were getting married with no such thing as a marriage license. Second, even today, there are some countries that have no governmental recognition of marriage, and/or no legal requirements for marriage. Third, there are some governments that place unbiblical requirements on a marriage before it is legally recognized. As an example, some countries require weddings to be held in a Catholic church, according to Catholic teachings, and overseen by a Catholic priest. Obviously, for those who have strong disagreements with the Catholic Church and the Catholic understanding of marriage as a sacrament, it would be unbiblical to submit to being married in the Catholic Church. Fourth, to make the legitimacy of the marriage union solely dependent on government statutes is to indirectly sanction the statutory definition of marriage, which may fluctuate.
2) A man and a woman are married in God’s eyes when they have completed some kind of formal wedding ceremony. Some interpreters understand God’s bringing Eve to Adam (Genesis 2:22) as God’s overseeing the first wedding “ceremony”—the modern practice of a father giving away his daughter at a wedding reflects God’s action in Eden. In John chapter 2, Jesus attended a wedding ceremony. Jesus would not have attended such an event if He did not approve of what was occurring. Jesus’ presence at a wedding ceremony by no means indicates that God requires a wedding ceremony, but it does indicate that a wedding ceremony is acceptable in God’s sight. Nearly every culture in the history of humanity has observed some kind of formal wedding ceremony. In every culture there is an event, action, covenant, vow, or proclamation that is recognized as declaring a man and woman to be married.
3) God considers a man and a woman to be married at the moment they engage in sexual intercourse. There are some who take this to mean that a married couple is not truly “married” in God’s eyes until they have consummated the marriage physically. Others argue that, if any man and woman have sex, God considers the two of them to be married. The basis for this view is the fact that sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is the ultimate fulfillment of the “one flesh” principle (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). In this sense, sexual intercourse is the final “seal” on a marriage covenant. However, the view that intercourse constitutes marriage is not biblically sound. If a couple is legally and ceremonially married, but for some reason is unable to engage in sexual intercourse, that couple is still considered married.
We know that God does not equate sexual intercourse with marriage based on the fact that the Old Testament often distinguishes a wife from a concubine. For example, 2 Chronicles 11:21 describes one king’s family life: “Rehoboam loved Maakah daughter of Absalom more than any of his other wives and concubines. In all, he had eighteen wives and sixty concubines.” In this verse, concubines who had sexual intercourse with King Rehoboam are not considered wives and are mentioned as a separate category.
Also, 1 Corinthians 7:2 indicates that sex before marriage is immorality. If sexual intercourse causes a couple to become married, it could not be considered immoral, as the couple would be considered married the moment they engaged in sexual intercourse. There is absolutely no biblical basis for an unmarried couple to have sex and then declare themselves to be married, thereby declaring all future sexual relations to be moral and God-honoring.
Some point to Genesis 24 and the story of Isaac and Rebekah as an example of a couple being married solely by sexual intercourse, without any type of ceremony. But the details that lead up to the marriage reveal that a formal process was followed. Isaac’s father, Abraham, gave his servant a list of things to do to find Isaac a wife (Genesis 24:1–10). The servant did all his master asked, plus he prayed to God for guidance and confirmation (verses 12–14). God did guide him, and He also confirmed all of the servant’s “tests” to show that the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah was indeed God-approved (verses 15–27). So convinced was the servant of God’s will that he immediately related to Rebekah’s brother, Laban, all the details confirming God’s choice (verses 32–49). By the time dinner was served, everyone knew that this was of God, that both Isaac and Rebekah should be married (verses 50–51). Then a dowry was paid, and verbal contracts were pledged between them (verses 52–59). Thus, the marriage mentioned in verse 67 was hardly based on a mere sexual act. Cultural procedures and dowry traditions were fulfilled, conditions were met, answers to prayer were seen, and the obvious blessing by God was upon the entire scenario.
So, what constitutes marriage in God’s eyes? It would seem that the following principles should be followed: 1) As long as the requirements are reasonable and not against the Bible, a man and a woman should seek whatever formal governmental recognition is available. 2) A man and a woman should follow whatever cultural, familial, and covenantal practices are typically employed to recognize a couple as “officially married.” 3) If possible, a man and a woman should consummate the marriage sexually, fulfilling the physical aspect of the “one flesh” principle.
The Bible says that a woman must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
The Bible says that a woman is bound to her husband for as long as he lives. (Romans 7:2)
The Bible says that any man that marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Matthew 5:32 and Luke 16:18)
The Bible says that when a divorced woman marries again, she commits adultery. (Mark 10:12)
The Bible says that when a man forces his way with a virgin who is not pledged to be married, that they must marry and can never divorce. (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)
The Bible says that priests must not marry divorced women. (Leviticus
21:14)
I do not know where you get that?
I certainly do not find it in the Bible.
But your sins are forgiven. Go and sin no more. (John 8:11)
When discussing what the Bible says about divorce, it is important to keep in mind the words of Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce, says the Lord God.” Whatever grounds the Bible possibly gives for divorce, that does not mean God desires a divorce to occur in those instances. Rather than asking “is ______ a grounds for divorce,” often the question should be “is _______ grounds for forgiveness, restoration, and/or counseling?”
The Bible gives two clear grounds for divorce: (1) sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) and (2) abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15). Even in these two instances, though, divorce is not required or even encouraged. The most that can be said is that sexual immorality and abandonment are grounds (an allowance) for divorce. Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are always the first steps. Divorce should only be viewed as a last resort.
Are there any grounds for divorce beyond what the Bible explicitly says? Perhaps, but we do not presume upon the Word of God. It is very dangerous to go beyond what the Bible says (1 Corinthians 4:6). The most frequent additional grounds for divorce that people inquire about are spousal abuse (emotional or physical), child abuse, addiction to pornography, drug / alcohol use, crime / imprisonment, and mismanagement of finances (such as through a gambling addiction). None of these can be claimed to be explicit biblical grounds for a divorce.
That does not necessarily mean, though, that none of them are grounds for divorce which God would approve of. For example, we cannot imagine that it would be God’s desire for a wife to remain with a husband who physically abuses her and/or their children. In such an instance, the wife should definitely separate herself and the children from the abusive husband. However, even in such a situation, a time of separation with the goal of repentance and restoration should be the ideal, not necessarily immediately beginning divorce proceedings. Please understand, by saying that the above are not biblical grounds for divorce, we are definitely not saying that a man/woman whose spouse is engaging in such activities should remain in the situation. If there is any risk to self or children, separation is a good and appropriate step.
Another way to look at this issue is to differentiate between biblical grounds for divorce and biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. Some interpret the two biblical grounds for divorce mentioned above as the only grounds for remarriage after a divorce, but allow for divorce with no remarriage in other instances. While this is a plausible interpretation, it seems to come too close to presuming upon the Word of God. For more information, please read the following two articles:
In summary, what are the biblical grounds for divorce? The answer is sexual immorality and abandonment. Are there additional grounds for divorce beyond these two? Possibly. Is divorce ever to be treated lightly or employed as the first recourse? Absolutely not. God is capable of changing and reforming any person. God is capable of healing and renewing any marriage. Divorce should only occur in instances of repeated and unrepentant heinous sin.
Jesus said that divorce did not exist at the beginning. (Matthew 19:4-8)
Jesus said that it was because people's hearts were hard that Moses gave them divorce, but that it was not that way from the beginning. (Matthew 19:8)
Jesus said that what God has joined, let no man separate. (Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9)
David did not divorce any of his wives and none of his wives divorced him.
One of Davids wives, Michal, took a second husband. (1 Samuel 25:44 and 2 Samuel 3:14-16)
But David did not divorce her.
Samson's wife took a second husband, but Samson had not divorced her. (Judges 14:20 and Judges 15)
Absalom, the son of David, had relations with some of David's concubines in broad daylight. (2 Samuel 15:16 and 2 Samuel 16:21-22;) But David did not divorce any of them. (2 Samuel 20:3)
David had relations with another man's wife. But none of his wives divorced him.
You are liberal at preaching the good news gospel of divorce and remarriage, but the Bible does not teach it.
Yes, you can divorce, but it is adultery for you to marry someone else.
Of course, woman was made for man (1 Corinthians 11:9)
and it is not adultery for a male to have more than one female.
Only a leader in the church is to be a husband of but one wife (1 Timothy 3:2,12 and Titus 1:6), so they can be more devoted to the church and Christ. (1 Corinthians 7:33-35) Paul preferred that everyone be single and celibate like him.
The People of God, ONE man had 12 sons through 4 women. Thus, the 12 tribes of Israel, the 12 disciples, the 12 gates of heaven, the 12 foundations of heaven and the 12 thrones with Christ Jesus -- ALL BECAUSE ONE MAN HAD 12 SONS THROUGH 4 WOMEN. (GENESIS 30) and we want to be grafted into that family.
Anyway, divorce is wrong in the scriptures, and it is adultery for you to marry someone else.
But it may be okay to divorce if it turns you back to God. (Ezra 10:10-11 and Luke 18:29-30)
Has your divorce brought you closer to God?
Why ruin a good thing? 1 Corinthians 7:20, Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them. (1 Corinthians 7:20)
1 Corinthians 7:24-28
24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.
25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.
