What do you do when they play the "Christian" card on you?
Posted : 6 Oct, 2009 08:54 PM
I have been a saved Christian for a long time now, and truly understand that I would never want to be yoked with someone that is not of like mind on their faith with me.
I am all about forgiveness, but forgiveness does not necessarily mean I want to be yoked with someone that behaves badly.
My last two dating experiences, both gentlemen knew I was a saved Christian. The first one claimed also to be one, but his heart was truly hard toward his ex-wife and children. I understand that divorce is ugly and that is why Our God hates it so much, it is such a hurtful thing, which is why we need to look toward forgiveness. When I said as much, in a tactful way, he got really ugly with me in a "You women are all alike..." kind of way. Well when I decided this was not what I would like to have in a future husband, he plays the Christian Card on me...."Well I thought you were suppose to be such a Good Christian woman...."
The other guy was aware I was a Christian and he had fallen from faith when his wife passed away. He liked it that I was a Christian, and wanted to go to church with me. Our first and only date went very well, we met for coffee, went to church, and spent the day at Falls Park and taking the Sculpture Walk. He told me he had a great time, and I had a good time too. We decided to do it again in two weeks.
We talked a couple times on the phone, the last conversation he asked me for a confirmation for Sunday and I said you bet, and didn't hear from him again for the better part of a week, so Saturday night I called to confirm that we were still on for Church, and he never returned my phone call.
He did not show up for church. My computer was down for nearly a week, but then I emailed him and asked if everything was okay, and he emails back that I was always too busy to talk (I'm renovating my house, yeah, I'm busy, but I always took his calls).
I decided I really didn't want to get involved with someone that would have such a blatant disregard for me as to stand me up like that and then there was no genuine apology or good reason for it. So I told him I didn't think it would work out and he tells me but we had such a good time when we went out, I really enjoyed out date. ??? Yeah, for real, so I told him that I wasn't interested in seeing someone that would stand me up and not even call to break the date. I told him that I believed if I would not have contacted him via email that he would not have contacted me at all, so what is the point? And he plays the Christian Card on me.
"Will I though you were such a Good Christian, well FU and you F'ing church, you are the reason people hate Christians"
Where does it say that I have to be all forgiving of men who behave badly to the point of continuing to date them? I have no problem forgiving either of them, I just don't want to date them because of the way they acted.
How do those of you out there handle it when you decide you don't want to date someone and the play the Christian Card on you? I rather resent that they would act like being a "Christian of THAT sort" would be a bad thing, like I am some sort of a big judgmental bigot or something which could not be farther from the truth.
I believe that the truth with tact is a good thing, because there is nothing harder than being let down easy. But I don't know what to say to them when they say this. Both men I only dated once and they really don't know anything about me or about my faith. In fact I don't think it was about me either time so much as it was about them, and I think they felt convicted in their hearts.
What do you do when they play the "Christian" card on you?
Posted : 25 Oct, 2009 09:35 PM
I hear you on that betty. For a long time I didn't get it, why every man I met seemed unable to respect my faith, then it occurred to me that it might have to do with the fact that my profile didn't really reflect how important my faith is to me, so I went back and revised all my profiles, yet still men seem to see it as a challenged, which I find irritating, but I guess at least I probably find out sooner what their true colors are.
Many Christians today do not believe in Obedience in the Word, they prefer buffet Christianity, picking out only the things they like and leaving the rest on the table claiming the Bible is outdated or that they do not believe what it says in certain places or even like your deacon friend, feigning ignorance in that area of the word.
They don't like to take notice that even in the areas of the Bible where men did have multiple wives, it was generally somehow their own undoing through this immorality, but they usually don't read to the end of the story, they just like to stop and say, well he was a great man, and he had multiple partners.
There is nothing easy about striving to be stronger than your flesh, but the integrity of working on such a noble goal does matter. Praying about the hard stuff is always a great place to start.
Yet every time they play the Christian Card on me, I have to wonder if they would also play it on the Lord Jesus Christ himself. I think there is truth in that for Jesus is the very thing they originally hated most about Christians, enough to viciously murder him for a belief they did not want to accept because it mean giving up the things they thought mattered for what matters to God.
Look how evolved we are today, yet it still comes back to the same old thing, over and over and over.
