Hi! I really am interested in the future of online dating and I believe it is in videos. Here is why:
A video on Youtube of me talking about this idea with the code C6Iy7_7IKf0 Cannot put the link here so type it up in the browser or read this long post.
Most people are fed up with online dating. It's so easy to write anything and get away with lying about yourself. People are more able to spot a liar if they are required to make a video introduction instead of a paragraph "About me" which most don't like writing anyways. Also, because you cannot hear their voice, see their face or feel their energy, you cannot really get a feel if you would actually want to date that person in real life. So an online dating service that forces people to be honest and transparent will only attract serious people and repel fakes and scammers.
The next step is a full body shot properly clothed in a doorway because all doorways are about the same size so the person won't be able to lie about their height. And with their arms at their sides they won't be able to take silly selfie shots or make silly faces and gang signs.
People want to know who they will be dating. The details about their life is not as important as I know attraction is not a choice and it happens in real time.
The thing is this would have to probably be a pay site if we cannot use YouTube for it which is free to upload and use their servers for the videos. But I wonder if any of you have heard of couch-surfing because that site is all about Christian values of being hospitable to traveling people so they don't have to pay for a hotel or hostel they would just crash on your couch for a night or two while they explore the city you live in. That website has a way of verifying where you live with a postcard sent to your address and this would make sure that there are only real people with real addresses signed up to the dating site and only one profile per person.
Talking to my friend on skype about it just now. Here is a piece of the conversation:
It would anger those who on okcupid have invested so much in algorithms to figure out what works in this current model of a picture and a paragraph.
[4:44:36 PM] Pietas: but what works is you must be really good looking or have a professional picture done
[4:44:44 PM] Pietas: and you must have an amazing profile that is the truth about yourself
[4:45:01 PM] Pietas: but what i want to do is a lot easier for regular looking people to make it
[4:45:22 PM] Pietas: because there is no need for someone to be a celebrity looks or have 100 amazing interests
[4:45:25 PM] Pietas: they can just be themselves
The site would not let outsiders to view the videos or pictures, only those who put a video, full body shot in doorway with arms down at their sides and was verified to actually exist at a real address could view this site. They will be unlisted videos on YouTube or private galleries. That way everyone who really is serious about a relationship and putting themselves out there will be in this community and no people who are looking to mess around with Photoshop. So the pay fee would only cover the cost of whatever mail costs is necessary to send postcards to them to verify their address and quite possibly that would be it because YouTube has a way of messaging so if they like the video they see they can contact the user through Google+ or Youtube. I do not own this idea but I am not looking to make money off it. I believe we must charge for it to work because it does cost money to send postcards to people but the site owners have no right to profit on it. That's why I love this particular site which is completely free. But it needs improvement.
The picture of me in the doorway isn't that great but I wanted to take the lead and just do it. I had to take off address labels off that box in photoshop after I realized it was on there. Hey well you have to start somewhere. I was thinking if I waited to put a perfect professional photo up then that would intimidate people to join on through this movement. So start small and then work better over time. You could also take this picture in an open car door cafe door, any door would do to give everyone a real idea of your height and body shape. Of course we all had our surprises of meeting people offline who don't look a thing like they did in their pictures! So I am thinking that people would be required to upload a new video every few months to make sure.
Photoshop is ok as long as the person is not changing what they look like in it to stretch themselves to look taller, changing colors of their hair in the picture, what else? Oh yea, putting black circles over other people's faces. No one likes to see that.
You still need your mindset changed. Income is not an issue. I spend so much time looking around trying to find people I am interested with on dating sites, that time could more properly be spent helping others find their person because at least then for me I am doing good for others and not focusing on myself. So not "more power to you". Yes I am a freak who can't find anyone I connect with but I want to devote that time to seeing other people are made happy.
How do you know it won't work that way? This wont be just any dating site. It's more like a meetup group. Online speed dating. With 20 or 30 people to start that is enough for people to find some matches. People need put their egos beside them like I said they are already serious about God, serious about finding someone and want to meet. Thousands upon thousands of choices does nobody any good ever because it takes a long time to search through them. Have you ever tried POF? It's painstaking trying to sift through all the profiles of people I do not click through and then by the time I get to the next page it reloads where it's showing me the same ones I just looked at as new people sign on. It's such a pain, and then when people search by interests they put their personalities or what they "Think" they want first. Instead they should let God decide for them and feel with their heart and to do that, they would be better at it when people are speaking to them. That's why Videos work best. In the 1970s there was a video dating service and people had to walk in and pay a lot of money to make a video ad and watch others. No one has ever really come up with any method that works except speed dating which you can sit and meet as many people at once and then find the ones you like really quickly by feeling their body language and seeing their face and hearing them talk. All of that can be done in videos. Not on a site like this. And so the online speed dating site begins, with a collection of 20-30 people. And it can expand if everyone who was interested contacts their friends and gets them into it too.
Of course people who rather stay home than go out and do speed dating or go to meet up events are not going to want to sign up. This site is full of flaky people not just introverts. Hope is what "Christians" claim to have of course so I guess if someone has no "Hope" they are not a Christian, eh? Hope is faith. Hope that God will do what God will do. If the people are meant to be with anyone else, then God will do it. I do not even know if God made me break out of my shell so I could find the person I am meant to be with or so I could start this. But I know that connections are built more readily in person. I am guessing most people on this site do not know this though. They have never actually felt a real connection with someone when sitting with them and talking. Videos is the closet way to doing this, closest to real life. I have felt connections reading incredibly long profiles where a lot of the person's soul was put into crafting it. But most people on here are like I said before, people who are just looking around on the side, not serious about finding someone. This site is for people who have no time to actively have a social life because work consumes them or live far away from places where they would likely find a good match. I personally have peculiar interests and personality so it's hard to find like minded individuals while going through a stroll at the grocery or library. For people who are in a different country and they live in a rural neighborhood and know everyone is already taken, and these are people serious about finding someone, they would have to know what needs to be done. They can sift through the hundreds of emails all day long be my guest. I have done online dating for years and read articles from it for both sides of the spectrum. So I know how frustrated both men and women are and I am just trying to help everyone out.
I bet most people thought speed dating was a dumb idea when it first came out but the Aish HaTorah Jews who came out with it, Same as they know it's important to keep men and women separate during prayer services so that they aren't taking glaces. How many times has a man gone to church and looked at women? Or a woman looked at men? Yea I am not judging all people to doing it I know I have done this in service where men and women were not separated. So Christians can learn a bit from Orthodox Judaism.
Most people thought the idea that you could not fall in love at first sight doesn't happen but can it happen? You bet it can happen. But more likely when someone's not seeing an inbox full of messages like "How are you". So anyone who has an idea, and if it's good for others then it's good. It's similar to the whole "Grow food" thing. People are waking up now and realizing they don't know what is really in their food so they are growing their own. That takes guts to do that and also money. In order to take your power back that's been stolen you need to get out of your shell. Someone like me is pushing people's buttons. They are very much liking their comfort zone and rather be lonely and pray that they find someone than actually put the effort in. So you said "Hope" is ironic because that's what they are all doing. "Hoping" that this website will be enough when maybe the person they are meant to be with can't find them because there is too many people on here to search through. Paradigm shift. Large website are not that great after-all. It's proven that the lower the student to teacher ratio, the more the child can learn. So therefore if you apply this towards dating, the lower the numbers, the more likely people will find someone. Because like in a room of a 1000 people it's harder to move around than the same room of just 100. It's counter-intuitive but it works. Because the people involved are people who are really serious. I probably am on the wrong website preaching to the wrong choir. I need to be on a pay site where people are frustrated with their hard earned money being wasted with no real connections.
I read this quote from wikipedia on speed dating:
A 2005 study at the University of Pennsylvania of multiple HurryDate speed dating events found that most people made their choices within the first three seconds of meeting. Furthermore, issues such as religion, previous marriages, and smoking habits were found to play much less of a role than expected. [14] [15]
A 2006 study in Edinburgh, Scotland showed that 45% of the women participants in a speed-dating event and 22% of the men had come to a decision within the first 30 seconds. It also found that dialogue concerning travel resulted in more matches than dialogue about films
And first impressions online are jaded because anyone can write anything they want or use photoshop or worse, someone else's photo.
I never said your idea was dumb or that it definitely won't work. It just doesn't seem feasible. You say income is not an issue but it WILL be an issue unless you spend out of your pocket to maintain the site. No need to write an essay on hope. I'm just saying you need a way to properly market your idea to the introverts and not just hope they come out of their shell. If you truly believe a dating site can be successful with a few dozen members then go right ahead and good luck to you.
Yes I will spend out of my pocket. This is my charity as a Christian. I already have been mailing seeds for free to people who wanted some so I know if they are serious they will give me their address. It would not matter if the site ever came to fruition. If just two people met on this forum thread then I would be happy that I helped them meet. For example:
Jenni: Sure, I like your idea. I'm in.
John: Me too.
Then John writes Jenny and they find out they are good match for each other and they never even sign up for it but it would not matter because I really just wanted to collect all the serious people in one place so they could find each other better than having to sift through all the homogenous email in the inbox page.
i'm fed up with online dating too,but i don't really have many options for meeting women. i live in a rural area,and there's no places to meet women,i would try churches,but most women around my age have moved away,are married or seeing someone,or they are either single moms,trashy,or only like country boys in pickup trucks or guys that have flashy cars and lots of money. also cause of my disability,i don't get out much. i do go to historical reenactments,but 9 times out of 10 the women i meet are married or seeing someone.
i'm fed up with online dating too,but i don't really have many options for meeting women. i live in a rural area,and there's no places to meet women,i would try churches,but most women around my age have moved away,are married or seeing someone,or they are either single moms,trashy,or only like country boys in pickup trucks or guys that have flashy cars and lots of money. also cause of my disability,i don't get out much. i do go to historical reenactments,but 9 times out of 10 the women i meet are married or seeing someone.
