Recently, I tried to start a conversation with someone who had a one sentence profile. I did so because she was attractive, and you never know what is behind the shopping like facade of a profile. The conversation was brutal; it existed of introductory questions on my part and one word/very limited answers in response. After 3 emails I had enough, But she finally asked the following question:
"What are you like?"...
I answered "A personality"
To which she responded: "What do you mean?"
Here is my response: I hope this gives some you an insight into what some guys think.
When I take time to write an email, I give enough information to build an initial conversation upon and respond with some talking points. You know: point, counterpoint.
It is how I can tell if a whether their personality is that of a friend or an acquaintance. You ask a question; I give an answer with a bit more, so you have something to ask about then I ask you a question about something you said. On goes the cycle etc...
But for some reason Christian girls lose all personality around guys. They clam up and answer questions with one word or real minimal answers. When a girl does that it tells me 3 things:
1. She has unrealistic expectations - that I will never be able to meet. For example:
- A list of requirements, (5'11, ripped abs, always caring, smells nice, always says the right thing, no issues, etc... )
-That the guy wants a long term relationship - because he said hello.
- She's better than X or online dating: all the online guys just want is sex, they are porn addicts, and objectify women - how do you know? because they are online.
2. She's either insecure or uninterested and is letting you know through her actions - either way, I've lost interest.
3. She want's the guy to invent who she is.....Here is an example conversation (oddly reminiscent of the one we were having....)
"Q. Do you like TV"
"A: I don't watch TV"
"Q: OK....Do you like Music?"
"A: What do you mean?:
"Q: Well Do you like Bands, or singers...like Michael Buble...?"
"A: Yes, Yes, I like that..."
When I get that type of response, I lose all interest even in a friendship. Because I know that there will never be a friendship there. (see above for 3 reasons why) I don't want to fight an uphill battle from the get go - I have other things going in my life, and the last thing I need is undue drama. A girl can get on board this plane and we can have fun, or they can wait for the next plane, either way I'm not waiting in the airport for them to figure themselves out - they had all the time before I showed up to do it on their own.
Let's face it. When people try to communicate through a medium like the internet - they just want to know - is the other person cool? Would we enjoy a phone conversation?
So to answer your question.
I am looking for personality. Someone who responds, has their own thoughts, and has realistic expectations.
At least, your brother knows the "problem" & tries to smell nice for his wife. She definitely appreciates the effort, or have become used to it by now.
Moot point... Would a great personality trump not smelling nice, not looking good?
