When things are at times not making sense, I meditate on Joseph & he's brothers who betrayed him & sold him to foreigners who also sold him to Egyptians hense he ended up serving in Pharaoh palace. That has been comforting me in a way, and it made it seem normal to be kicked out or rejected.
Just as Joseph came through for he's family in the hour of hunger (when he's brothers didn't recognize him anymore) when they came to buy food in Egypt, so do I expect to somehow come through for my family in maybe years to come, meeting their need if I will be able depending on what will they be needing at that specific time.
My daily prayer is that I do all genuinely without complaining or manifesting an emotion of revenge.
But now things are kinda moving on a faster lane. This year infact life has been hectic, i've really been overwhelmed in all areas of my life. Everything had to happen quickly. Bigger decisions had to be made without waiting, it called for it.
Can't help it but to sometimes think i'm gonna fall & have to be taken to hospital. My spirit is tired (now tears are coming out as i'm typing) its been too much to handle at once, at times I feel i'm gonna have stroke, but its just me feeling that, I may not have it hopefully through God's grace. That's the last thing I need cause I only have myself now.
One of the things that are taking place earlier than expected is my family seeking for me. I don't need that now. I'm in a process of forgiving & acceptance of rejection that was done in a most humiliating way, its somehow registered in my mind cause now that's the only thought i'm left with in remembrance of my father.
I new they gonna look for me, though not this soon. Most probably the interntions are not even good, its only so I can meet expenses. Oh well its family what can I say, they use you for their benefit at times. The thing is now this frustrates my current activities of dealing with this. Voice massages take me 100steps backwards, don't wanna hear their voices right now. Can't even change my cell mumbers for work sake.
I don't know what to do hey,
I'm not punishing them by ignoring their calls,
Not even angry anymore with them, they just not what I need right now.
Can I humbly ask this please especially to those who are parents:
Why can't parents love all their kids with the same massure/level of love to all of them?
This question is inspired by the passage about Joseph. I think its he's father who started the whole thing and caused enmity amongst he's children. In verse 3 of Genesis 37 says
"Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age"
I'm not asking out of self pity guys, i'v accepted that i'm the least loved home, it bothers me no more. Just wondering why can't parents love he's/her children the same way?
Since this causes bitterness from these who are least loved while the other is most loved & defended even when he/she's at fault.
Must it be a question of who came first and who came last?
Aren't they all your children inspite for who came sonner than the other?
Don't mean to turn this into a bible study falks, we just helping one onother
Sissygirl am a parent but i wouldn't be able to say why that happens,that a parent can love one kid more than the rest yet they are all hers/his.
My father loved me and still does more than my brothers and sisters.
But i was never proud of it.It used to grieve my heart so much especially when i got to secondary school.He would give me money and i would send it to my bros and sis lying to them that dad told me to give them.He still loves my kids more than the other grand kids.
I wouldn't know why but i know its wrong.
And because of this i vowed never to do that to my kids.
I'm sorry about all that but am happy for the way you have been able to handle it.
I fully support you my sister on that note. You can influence your kids to either love or hate one onother by the way you treat them if showing favoritesm.
My colligue has a late sister who passed on around 2011 and 2brothers who are still alive. When their youngest sister who passed on at the age of 21,
When they heard that she was no more, I was with her (my colligue.) The first words was "the precious daughter is gone, now my mum is stuck with us, God is reminding her that she has other children too who needs her love"
As horrible as those words were, I understood where was that coming from (in as much as I didn't condone her saying that) she back then wanted (with her 2brothers) nothing to do with their mother, especially her, saying "she was sexually abused cause she was not around to protect her, while the late one got all the attention. Atleast my mother was just never there through death" she doesn't even know that I was abused in that kind too.
This is deeper & more serious than it can ever seem. All they ever wanted from their mother after the burial was replacement of their money, since her policy took longer to pay out. So in a way they didn't contribute cause they were payed back.
She's (my colligue) the sweetest lady ever, you can't associate her with such behavior. You can just tell that she was very angry at that time.
Just thought I should share the depth of this behavior from parents.
Sometimes I think my story is similar to Lukia's...one of the favored. But i was fabored because I didn't cause trouble. I went to school, made good grades, did my chores, etc.
I did go through a rebellious time as a young adult when I confronted my parents on some issues from my childhood but I have an awesome relationship with both my parents now.
While I am not a parent, I have helped raise 3 of my sisters and 4 of my nephews. That does not make me an expert, but it has given me some insight. Most of the 'reasons' are 'excuses' but humans will be humans unless they work to change, and if they are a Christian allow the Holy Spirit to help them change.
Kids are as different as adults...why don't we get along? Sometimes the parents do not understand a child because of his/her personality...learning what makes a child react through studying personality types will help to better relate in a 'language' the child can process.
Some kids have a special talent or skill that the parent really likes...good at sports, music, science, etc. And the other has none...or not ones the parent can relate to.
Sometimes, the child may remind the parent of so much of an ex (or deceased) spouse that the parent puts up a barrier.
Depending on where the child is in the birth order can make a difference, too. A first child could have 'come too early' the parents weren't ready to give up their lifestyle and see the child as an inconvenience. The youngest often gets spoiled because he/she is the last baby.
I think, possibly, in your case, you were seen as privileged because you lived with your grandmother from birth...your older siblings may have made comments and your father may have felt your mother's decision was wrong/he didn't agree with it completely.
In Joseph's case, his father was in love with Joseph's mother but was tricked into marrying her sister. He had to wait/work another 7 years for Rachel. Then the competition for child bearing began. I'm sure Joseph understood the anguish Rachel experienced when she couldn't conceive for so many years.
My younger brother and I wonder how we turned out so differently form our other brothers and sisters being raised fundamentally under the same rules and parenting.
I think the issue is not the childs but the parents. Everyone of us has a awareness of our inner self. Some more than other. Some hide not only from others but from their inner self.
A father with lust issues might become hostile with a daughter because He doesnt want to act upon these lust issues with her. His agression could be a defense mechinism to protect his daughter from his self.
Or he might want to act upon those lusts and she fights against him causing the feeling of rejection to him. His rejection comes out in the form of agression.
Or he might have agression toward her due to unresolved conflict with his wife and his unwillingness to greive her loss.
Either way we as people either confront our inner emotions and find harmony with peope due to our resolved inner conflict or we dont.
I know in my life my agression towards my ex wife was largly due to some of these issues in my own life. Unresolved inner conflict.
Today I have learned through the trust that God gave to me to look inside my self and find a place of healing through Gods love. This is a kingdom of God activity that we humble our hearts before God that we might find life and healing.
I am in the process to look even deeper into my heart and allow the Spirit to reveal more that I might find even greater freedom and life.
To relate with God and hear His voice for me that My life might shine ever brighter. That he would remove the dark things of my life and replace them with His glory.
I love the visibility of your face now, don't mean that you looked any less beautiful on your previous one compared to now. Change is always good from time to time
I love pics dear
Even have a memory stick that reserves all my pics & important stuff, just incase I somehow loose my albums.
Thank you again dear sis' for sharing about your up bringing (opening up about how your father most loved you, compared to the rest of your siblings)
The idea is not to judge or condemn anyone, its basically trying to understand why is one reacting in a certain way, what could be influencing that behavior.
These chatt forums has really helped me in opening up more about my wounds, instead of nourishing them in my place of privacy. Its always benefiting talking things through, (which I always prefare) bringing realities of life into the table.
Teach
Ok dear one your reply got me alone big time in the restrand this morning while waiting for a client. Those who were seated around me thought I was crazy or something, had to keep it together since I was then a little ashamed as they were looking at me. (maybe I was lauder than I thought)
Oh I couldn't go look for that book dear, it was a little hectic. We had a lot to go through, the meeting took weigh longer than I expected. Will have to make time & seach cause I really need that copy.
"... But I was fabored cause I didn't cause trouble" that's pretty wicked coming from you dear sis. Can't associate you with corruption. That was the very line that got me , didn't expect you'd say that. And yes children are not the same dear (as clue'less as I am about them) my twin & I we're just weigh different, same goes with the other older set of twins, they too are different from one onother. I'm glad that you & your brother turned out differently in a good way from the others. Think parents hurt when we turn out in a dissapointing way from what they expected, cause normal ones' want the very best out of their kids. Inspite of your parents flops & mistakes when raising you, they still did something right. You & your brother have proved that.
You making perfect sense when talking about kids being somehow treated differently cause of a memory that they could be bringing forth to the patent. Its not right or even fair that they should be treated like that, since they're innocent beings.... But you somehow gave an idea to my question "why do parents treat their own kids differently?"
Someone else has spoken of the age difference between parents & kids. Apparently that too has an influence on how they relate. And you're bringing something important to my attention, about my siblings reacting in a certain way to us/me cause we grew up in a different environment from them and my father not agreeing with my mum's decision.... Would never have thought of that.
I'm really glad dear lady that the relationship with your parents worked out for the better after you've confronted them. One thing I've noted about parents is that: they can't bear the truth, they'd rather hate you than coming out with the truth. Though they not the same, it depends what kind are they....
Thank you sooooooooooo much dear one
Your reply makes sense to me.
Wish parents would go for counseling concerning such issues, especially if one of them has lost her/he's beloved partner for whatever reason, so one still give her/he's children the same love that they all deserve without discrimination.
From verse 7"Joseph saw his brothers and recognized them, but he acted as a stranger....
9, Then Joseph Remembered the dreams which he had dreamed about them...
16, Send one of you, and let him bring your brother...."
(I think he only desired to dine/share a meal with them as he's biological brothers)
This is a charm, such a forgiving heart
I'd do about anything to have such a heart,
Only through the Holly Spirits help one can do this.
I'm reminded of David in Psalm 51 when he pleaded for a new clean heart from God,
I'm also reminded of onother spiritual book I was reading over & over last year, (I think God used it lay a foundation in my life for this years experiences)
The name of that book is: Purpose driven life.
One other passage said (in this book) "Careful of what you ask for from God fore you'll be tested on in, after your gift has been granted to you"
Through out the year of 2012 I was praying countless times for a new forgiving heart, cause I felt I was gonna kill someone in defense of by self. The level of tiredness with abuse was maximum, while the process of buying a house was weigh slow, which i'm glad I was kinda forced to wait cause in the end the investigations proved the agency (selling houses) not being registered (those reap off ones/fly by night)
Would have lost a lumsome for nothing cause I was desperate to escape from the situation. Nonetheless I had to stand the test of time, till this day. As I prayed & asked for a new forgiving heart,
I'm being tested if I want this as badly as I asked.
Am I a forgiving servant...?
It was surely worth waiting Micheal,
In due season you will have your partner without limits that are currently existing & distance between you guys. Suppose life is a two way traffic, There's always a price for what you want & desire most. Had God tested me through strangers, people i'm not connected to, or even care for,
The package of my request wouldn't have had much effect & impact in my life. So it was two lessons at once, learning to wait while enduring impossible circumstances,
And learning to forgive which is what I've exactly asked for.
At times I wonder if I had known He was gonnna test me this way, was I gonna asked from the first place....? Only He (God) knows an answer to that.
Keep in mind friends
You'll always be tested on what you've asked for once it has been granted to you,
alone big time in the restrand this morning while waiting for a client. Those who were seated around me thought I was crazy or something, had to keep it together since I was then a little ashamed as they were looking at me. (maybe I was lauder than I thought)