Author Thread: Doing something wrong?
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Doing something wrong?
Posted : 28 Oct, 2010 06:53 AM

What is the best way to introduce yourself to the women on this site. I must be doing something wrong, because it just doesn't seem to be working. I think my profile is sufficient in telling a little about myself. Although, I admit that I am a big guy and maybe that's my problem with getting replies. When I message a woman, I say hello and give them my first name, and then a few words about why I messaged them, usually because I thought their profile was nice. whatever it is, could someone give me some tips?

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Tulip89

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Doing something wrong?
Posted : 28 Oct, 2010 08:02 AM

First of all, make sure the girls is still an active user of the site. There are a lot of dead profiles on here. Second, if you're messaging a girl far away, make sure she hasn't said "No" to relocating already. It doesn't matter who messages me, if she lives a thousand miles away, I'm not going to be particularly interested.

Finally, you've got to make yourself stand out from the crowd. "Hi, my name is ___. I like ___ and ___ too, so I think we would get along well. Message me back if you're interested!" or something is not a particularly original message, nor did it take much effort. She probably also gets about 20 of those a week. The most success I've had is with humor. If you can make her laugh, ask a couple original questions, and show that you've put some thought and effort into it, you'll get a lot more responses.

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bcpianogal

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Posted : 28 Oct, 2010 08:32 AM

Here's something really easy that you can do: don't accidentally send messages to the wrong person!

A couple days ago, I got a message from a guy who sounded like he might be nice. He was a little too young for me, and I told him so, but also said that I was willing to at least exchange a few friendly emails and see what sort of friendship might develop. He responded back last night. Then, a few minutes later, I got a second message from him, to someone named "Rebecca." It wasn't a lengthy message, but clearly he's been communicating with Rebecca for a little while...and based on some of the things he said in that message, I'm less interested in him now than I would have been had he not sent me Rebecca's message!



Tulip had good suggestions, too.

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DontHitThatMark

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Posted : 28 Oct, 2010 09:34 AM

Yeah, humor is the way to go. I got quite a few messages from girls without even contacting them first, just because I made some time to make my profile original/humorous. Just make sure you don't fake anything though. They'll be able to tell sooner or later.



:peace::peace:

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SilverFire

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Posted : 28 Oct, 2010 05:47 PM

You don't sound like you're doing anything wrong. Low response rates are just the name of the game. There's not much that you can do to amp up your game, either. You just have to keep at it.

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Posted : 28 Oct, 2010 07:17 PM

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. As Silver said - it is par for the course.

Be yourself, write something polite and ask at least one question, or two. Someting about her and her profile, so she knows you read it and are not confusing her with someone else. Humor is always a good thing. There ARE a lot of dead profiles on here, and it is hard to know which they are.

Keep trying, keep trusting God.

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rainbowian

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Posted : 28 Oct, 2010 08:23 PM

I get the same thing. I haven't gotten one response to all the messages I've sent out. Women are very picky. Not just here but everywhere else.

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NamelessMe

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Posted : 28 Oct, 2010 08:27 PM

It is very difficult to get back to single life especially after being with one person for over 20 years. I have to admitt things have changed a lot over the years, including me. I have matured and grown closer to God. A friend told me one day I had to stop blushing and start flirting. I have not flirted in a long time and to be very honest I am not sure I remember how. I pray I begin to walk the path God has planned for me each day. I also pray he has that path highlighted so I can never doubt what way I am to travel.

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Posted : 29 Oct, 2010 10:18 AM

Phlp 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presents your requests to God.

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Posted : 29 Oct, 2010 10:57 AM

You are correct, twosparrows, that we are not supposed to be anxious. But, there are also times that we need advice or help on an issue. Personally, I am getting a little tired of people acting as if everyone should just naturally know what they are doing when it comes to dating, and if you ask any questions, people start slamming you for not being �spiritual enough� or �not trusting in God�.



Some of us really don�t know what we are doing and could seriously use some help instead of condemnation.

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Posted : 29 Oct, 2010 11:38 AM

@Gobbled

Ok., advice well noted and now time for *practical application*



@Taylor

Ditch the profile pic. You say you are a" big guy" but a pic of you sitting down at the kitchen table drinking pepsi and smoking marablo reds only accentuates that fact. Also your arms are crossed which can give the allusion that you are not open. The profile pic creates a atmosphere of unhealthiness , of body and heart.

Ok. , I know by reading your profile you are not that kind of person. So how do.we fix it? Easy ; all you need to do is to change your profile pic to a pic where you are doing something you love.

No worries you are young and have lots of time yet, but I still stand by my original post ; prayer is paramount in what ever endeavor you under take.

sincerely

2s

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