two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 10 Jul, 2010 09:23 PM
Part 1:
I have been on this site for awhile now and I love the chat forums and look forward to the great advie and knowledge from other believers, however, when it comes to the purpose I'm here for, which is to find a Christiand woman...I always seem to find someone who is far away and never someone that is close. This would be okay except that the relationship always seems to fade away. I'll meet someone and we'll both think that the other is very interesting and attractive. We'll email back and forth for awhile, maybe send a few winks but eventually, I think because of the distance, we slowly stop emailing as often or the responses get shorter and shorter. I feel it is because we both come to realize that because of the distance...we could never be more than friends. Just wondering how often this happens with others on here and how can we change that?? What can we do to attract local christians??
Part 2:
This kind of goes with the before mentioned segment. I have met a beautiful young lady on here and when I say beautiful I mean she seems to be as gorgeous on the inside as on the outside but she lives way over seas. We email each other on a pretty regular basis and I'm always looking forward to recieving her emails...yet because of the distance both of us have come to realize that we may never meet. We both have made comments of wishing we lived closer together and how we'd like to have a deeper relationship but we just simply can't because of the distance. A part of me thinks I need to continue looking for that special someone God may be calling me towards and another part of me thinks that may be she is it and for some reason this is just a bad practical joke from God...I have never had luck with the ladies so to speak and it just seems more discouraging than ever when you think you might have found someone but you'll never be able to meet....I asked for advice and I'll still take some but maybe what I really need is some encouragment from my brothers and sister. I know that all of us on here are lonely and looking for that special someone but I have lived 26 years of my life single and never knowing that feeling of love...whether or not it was false and I thought it was love or whether it was the real thing. I feel like time is running out for me.
two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 11 Jul, 2010 08:28 AM
A friend of mine once told me that if you want something to happen badly enough, you find a way to make it happen. Is there any way you can talk to her and find some way to work around the distance, like, say, take a couple of days off work and take a road trip?
Also, don't feel rushed. I'm sure that 26 might feel like a long time. But again, others have told me that when you finally meet the right person, it'll be worth the wait. If you think she might be the one God you to have in iyour life, why not find a way to meet her and find out? ^_^
two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 11 Jul, 2010 09:35 AM
Well, if you think you have it bad, I have a friend who was single until he was 36. He is great guy and he spent all his time supporting and taking care of his mother and grandmother. He just got married to a great girl last year. So my advice would be to take care of your life and your walk. God doesn't play cruel practical jokes. Maybe the exact reason you're alone is because you're wishing for something so much that it's making you unhappy and God is trying to point out your dissatisfaction and distrust of His plan for you. When you learn to let it go and let God's will be done...when you find peace...then maybe that's when you won't be alone anymore.
two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 11 Jul, 2010 12:08 PM
I can feel your pain. There are essentially no guys on here that I would be interested in who also live within a reasonable driving distance. I've talked to a few who live farther away, and though they seem like nice guys, there is just no hope of being more than online friends. The emails and IMs fade to nothing after a few weeks.
There is one guy, though...well, you can read about it here: http://www.christiandatingforfree.com/forum/forum_details.php?topic_id=5920&forum_sub_cat_id=4&start=0
He's the only person that I've actually stayed in contact with even though there is seemingly no hope that we will ever date. Oh, I'd be lying to say that I don't want to date him...I'd welcome that opportunity. But it isn't likely to happen because of the distance.
A couple days after I met him, I started struggling with confused feelings. I asked a close friend "Why did God let me meet him online, then finally in person after a whole year, if he doesn't figure into God's plan for me somehow? Our friendship seems to have more significance than most of my casual friendships, but to what end?" She challenged me to pray boldly: yes, to pray that things will work out with this guy, but above all to pray that God's will be done. She also challenged me to focus more on God than on this guy, so that I wouldn't miss God's guidance because of my own desires. So, that's what I'm trying to do.
I would encourage you to do the same. If this girl is "the one," God will work it out somehow. Seek His will first, and let Him guide both of you according to His perfect plan, whatever that may be.
two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 11 Jul, 2010 12:22 PM
Do not be concerned about another country.It depends on the country.I married a woman from the Ukraine.feel free to email me for details.
My money went further there than it does here.Everybody should travel to a different country.Have you thought about missions work?Just questions.Dennis
two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 11 Jul, 2010 03:01 PM
Stormy -- I can't answer your first question. I have had the exact same problem, and have not come up with a solution after much searching and praying.
For the second --- all I can say is pray, pray, pray. Ask others you respect for advice, such as you are doing. What I have found in my life is that time will out. What I mean is that if you wait and pray, God will lead you in the right path. God will close doors and open doors you though were firmly shut. Borders and water barriers do not mean anything to God. So pray and wait, brother.
two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 11 Jul, 2010 07:36 PM
@bcp - nice port reply....
Storm... walk it out and trust God. You know what you want. Trust God as you relate to women. Do not worry however about the distance. Take each encounter as a learning experience and allow God to do only what He can do. Do not let distance be a deterrant. If God is in it, all will work out. I believe that. ~ GraceMae :glow:
two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 11 Jul, 2010 09:21 PM
Everyone thank you for your thoughts and words of encouragment!! I t means a lot to me!
@feather89- if taking a road trip do the trick I would but she lives in the Phillipines.
@dennis-yes I have thought about missions and feel like God wants me where I'm at...my church is struggling and I feel God is calling me there to reach out to those in the surrounding community as well as those who regularly attend...that's another topic/prayer concern in itself!!!
I really do like this young woman and I know that God doesn't paly practical jokes...Its just that she seems to be happy over there doing her thing and her ministry that God has called her to and like I told Dennis, I feel my ministry is over here right now...I'm not sure what God's Will is for my life...I just wish I had a little bit of insight into it...any more words of advice/encouragement??? Please feel free to send them my way....
two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 15 Jul, 2010 07:18 AM
Don't lost hope... try to find a way to meet that girl personally if you really love her.. but if you think that there's no way to meet her personally then don't commit her into a relationship that has no happy ending. You must be true to each other. It would only cause pain if you keep her hoping that someday she could meet you. Just keep your relationship into friendship only, no commitment.
two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 25 Jul, 2010 01:58 PM
Hello Storm.
I can understand your situation. Dating sites can be a good source of social networking but also hold a lot of frustration. I would caution you on the long distance over seas connection. All though they can work out there is also a lot of things you might have over looked. Also the internet can be full of predators. It is easy to hide bad traits that might come out once you are legally bonded. There are a lot of stories of men that have been taken by over seas women that are looking for a free ride. You bring the rest of her family over and she divorces you once she can legally stay in the country. If it looks too good to be true then it probley is.
People are always expecting God to do every thing. Find me a spouse, pay my bills, make my children listen. What did God give us a brain for if not to use it? Sure we want to ask him if we are making the right choices but be expected to work. After all every thing in life does require work. If you are not prepared to do the work to find a good wife you will not be willing to do the work to keep her.
You have probley had some good choices cross your path already. Remember there is no perfect person in the world. You just have to find some one that meets enough of your needs and then be prepared to do the work. Possibly your expectations are too high. Maybe you are not confident enough. Just because some one is a christian does does not mean she is not attracted to the same things a non christian lady would be. One big thing is confidence. Taking the initiative and starting some thing.
My advice to you is get your self out there and meet real women. If you find some on sites like this make sure they are close enough to meet. Don't waste your time on communicating for ever. Just go meet for coffee or some thing light.
Yes God does help us along our journey but we do have to do work also.
two parts....has this happened to you / I need advice!
Posted : 25 Jul, 2010 02:27 PM
One more thing...
True deep love takes time. Love is like a seed. It takes a while to develop grow and be deeply rooted.
When you first meet some one you are excited! You are in love and feel on top of the world. Unfortunately that does not usually last and then comes the dislike. You start to notice there faults and they start to notice yours. Have they changed? No you just did not really know them. It takes time to actually know some one. No one is perfect and every relationship will require work.
If you have not even meet and you are thinking you love them then there is a problem. That is why it is much better to meet people close by that you can go out on many fun not serous dates with. Then when you do decide you want to commit to them don't rush things along. If they are not ok with waiting about a year at least before getting married then they are not patient. It will come out in other parts once you are married.
