Author	Thread: Nice
Admin	Nice Posted : 14 Feb, 2010 06:29 PM Kinda bringing back a topic that would get broached on for a while, but was never officially discussed. Nice: What's good about it? What's bad about it? Do nice guys finish last? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Nice Posted : 14 Feb, 2010 08:32 PM Nice guys don't finish last in my book. Yeah, the "bad boys" are fun for a while, but in the end it's the nice guy that will have my heart. Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	Nice Posted : 14 Feb, 2010 09:18 PM Nice guys come out on top when.... the spiritual, intuitive woman, who has experienced the "other side" ... know the difference. Bcpianogal speaks the truth. Bad boys trigger the dangerous, impulsive side of us women/gals... but the lasting, wholesome, worthy, true, loving men will come in the "NICE" packaged category! There is something at first about "touching fire"..so alluring and appealing, yet dangerous in the end. We women don't often recognize the gift of a warm, (not HOT), presence of the cool, also appealing offering of a warm extended presence of the one who comes yielding himself with nothing but who he is and standing by until we are ready for him... Often we women expect and want the more tantilizing effect of initial romance. Nothing wrong with that, except that we don't always have our eyes fully open to see the full dynamic of what's before us. I guess I need to stop here. I given enough of the picture for most of us. ~ GraceMae Post Reply
View Profile History	Nice Posted : 14 Feb, 2010 10:38 PM well, something to keep in mind is the opposite of bad isn't nice. the opposite of bad is good. bad can't exist without good, and good can't exist without bad. it's the contrast between the two that makes them what they are. nice is like good without bad, and bad without good. it's disfunctional and will inevitably fail once people get tired of hesitating, throw their editing equipment out, and say what they're really thinking. which may not be nice, but at least it's honest and direct, which is what i'd like a relationship to be built on anyway. nice just seems to = higher and higher expectations where the meaningfulness of good and bad is diminished and canceled out. for example: it's nice when some one says they love you, but if they say it all the time, it starts to lose it's meaning. from there you can either 1) maintain the status quo and let the relationship stagnate, 2) one up saying 'i love you' all the time whether you mean it or not, then one up that when it loses it's meaning too, or 3) be honest and actually address and talk about something meaningful. in that way, i think nice comes from a place of weakness, avoidence of, and being apologetic for what you think and feel, and even falls under the white lie catagory (aka lying) to keep everybody happy, due to the fear of being vulnerable to being rejected for who we really are. which is why both guys and girls go back and forth between wanting nice and bad. there is a time and a place to be nice, just not all the time. and on that note, sorry for going off on such a freakin' long post. hope it made kinda made sense. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nice Posted : 15 Feb, 2010 12:44 AM i don't mean to put ya'll on the spot, but it sounds like you are describing door mats. no one with any self esteem or self respect should stand for that. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nice Posted : 15 Feb, 2010 02:05 AM I guess everyone has a definition of the nice guy. To me there's the good guy, the bad guy, and the nice guy. Nice guys tend to be doormats who have people walk all over them. They have a tendency to be passive. They have a tendency to want to please everyone around them. They don't know how to say," No." Bad guys...well can't really say much for this crowd. Good guys...they know when to be nice. But they know when to be stern. They're not a walking doormats. They're not afraid to compliment someone. But they're not afraid of a confrontation either. They give credit where it's due. But always gives the glory to God when credit should really be due to them. They know what it was like to be bad, and want nothing to do with rebellion. Just my .02 cents. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nice Posted : 15 Feb, 2010 02:30 AM Every woman started out as a "little girl". It' a fact...go check it out. Most every woman will have memories of Dad picking them up off the floor and being raised up "high" in the air and that "scary", yet exhilarating feeling of those powerful arms holding them. This feeling of being "helpless" and of having no control, yet they felt safe because the one that was in control was so powerful. That "little girl" is still in every woman. You may not get them to admit it but...they still like the feeling of strong arms taking control of them...of relinquishing control and of being "helpless". They like the "bad boys" because the bad boys take what they want...they have no fear of authority..they like being in control. Things like that will "quicken" a woman's pulse and it will entice them. Problem with the bad boys is that they are...well...bad boys. Things like Respect...Honor...Duty...Dignity, do not fit in with their "game plan". What we are failing to see here is that those same "qualities" that you Ladies find attractive in the Bad Boys...are things that if "refined" and "filtered" through a Christian Filiter -- can make everyone's life a little more "exciting" and pleasurable. I mean...look through The Bible! There were some Bad Boys (David for one and Solomon!) that eventually became Very Good Christians. Just because we are gentlemen does not mean that we cannot growl every now and then. God made us men bigger and stronger for many reasons. We need to let our Ladies know that we are MEN and that they will be safe in our arms and in our presence and that the only thing we fear is losing them!! We may be a little too old to wrestle with a bear but there are many more ways to let our ladies know that we will Die for them if need be...that is being a "Bad Boy"! No Fear! ("coming dear! I was just talking to that Nice young man...") Post Reply
View Profile History	Nice Posted : 15 Feb, 2010 06:28 AM Welcome back arch. I agree with some of what you all wrote. But being good or nice does not always work.You have to know when to kick the tar out of a person to keep from being a door mat. there is a time for peace, a time for war, and a time to rebuild. Dennis Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Nice Posted : 15 Feb, 2010 09:31 AM Well...I consider myself one of these "nice guys". I like to promote a little hope for the nice people though. Do what is right, you can never lose. Nice people may seem to finish last in this world's race....but don't live in this world, it'll just depress you. We're waiting for the next one.:rocknroll::purpleangel: :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Nice Posted : 15 Feb, 2010 10:11 AM Hmmmm... Nice..... everyone has their own definition of what this means. In general, the "nice" guys I have met have been proud of their niceness. They trot it out and let everyone know how nice they are. And they usually have not had a date in a long time. Why? Because they are busy talking about how nice they are and putting down all the ladies who pass such a prize up. Now, I have also met men who were confident and secure and also very humble and giving. A man who I considered "nice" but never referred to himself that way, preferring to serve his family and church and neighbors and use the gifts God gave him to bless others. He encouraged others and was not afraid to play with little kids and pray for people. Just my take on "nice". Nice post btw :waving: Post Reply
View Profile History	Nice Posted : 15 Feb, 2010 10:50 AM one area where being bad, or good, or nice works is it gives him/her something to respond strongly to. and if she's upset it's not the end of the world. it's like a game, or dance, or highstakes poker. i think what i'm starting think is like others said it's knowing when to be bad, when to be good, when to be nice, and when to take a chance. as guys our nature is to compete and conquor and move on to the next thing to conquor. and where we go wrong is when we go along with that nature instead of holding out and keep it going and keep things exciting. godslamb: that's a good man. arch: glad to see you back. Post Reply

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