Author	Thread: Self control
Chioniso View Profile History	Self control Posted : 31 Dec, 2018 01:47 AM I met a guy on this site about a month ago. He stays about 12 km from my place. He is about 14 years older than me. After a week old communicating on this site and whatsapp we met and we were interested in each other. The following day he asked us to be HIV tested. I sked him our next move after the tests. He told me he wanted to avoid his previous mistake of marrying a woman who was not even interested in sex in bed. I reminded him what the bible says about sex,since he is a christian. So far we had 2 clashes on this subject of sex out of wedlock. He insists on having sex some time before he decides to marry. He explains that he can only decide about marriage after 2 years in relationship because he has some other responsibilities. Then last week he came at my work place and the following day we went out. The following day he talked to me on whatsapp in the early morning. The whole day he was quiet, although I called him several times without answering. The following morning he sms me saying he realised the last two days we met that he felt nothing, no sparks , no emotions no chemistry. He explained that we should take our time out and see if there is any change. My friends, can you tell me if there is still any hope of being joined together with this guy. Post Reply
Jayzeee View Profile History	Self control Posted : 31 Dec, 2018 05:20 AM Good on you for sticking to your principles, it's very easy to be strong about remaining chaste, when you don't have someone your interested in romantically. I think one month in its still early days, I'd keep an open line of communication, and providing he's prepared to accept your boundaries, you may well have a chance all the best. Post Reply
View Profile History	Self control Posted : 31 Dec, 2018 10:44 AM Either he gets over his obvious trust issues or it's best not to join with him. His ways of testing does will not work. Post Reply
View Profile History	Self control Posted : 2 Jan, 2019 07:35 PM I'm going to be blunt, from reading your post why are you even bothering? He sounds like a sinful jerk and bad husband material. I'm sure there more to him but I know I would drop someone like that in a hart beat. then aging not everyone can be completely heartless in their decision making like I can be. My advice, find someone that supports your christian views and respects you. Post Reply
Chioniso View Profile History	Self control Posted : 7 Jan, 2019 04:11 AM Thank you so much for all advicess. Infact you are all building me up. Let me keep you with an update. After expressing his negative feelings upon me, I told him we should kiss good bye since there was no more love between us. He then explained that he really loved me but did not want to keep on hurting himself. Few days later we met and talked general issues. Last week he asked that we should go for HIV testing and that he respected my christian values. I accepted his request and I asked him not to bring sex subject until I am through with my prayer programe, that is up to mid January. We went for HIV testing last week and we were both negative. Now what I beleive is that I am not going to give in to the devil. God is my strength and I think I need a little extra mile with my patience. More advices are welcome saints. Post Reply
View Profile History	Self control Posted : 7 Jan, 2019 07:00 AM Only one bit of advice, for now don't tempt either of yourselves.... and being alone or suggestive together for too long can easily count as temptation. Post Reply
Chioniso View Profile History	Self control Posted : 8 Jan, 2019 02:35 AM I understand, thank you Post Reply
Chioniso View Profile History	Self control Posted : 28 Jan, 2019 12:31 AM Hello saints. I have now realised that the guy is a sinful jerk and not marriage material for he is not accepting my bounderies. I have tried to make him understand my christian values but he is always emphasizing that our real love will only start after we have sex. Hence I have decided to end the relationship. I thank God for all wisdom you shared. Post Reply
Chioniso View Profile History	Self control Posted : 28 Jan, 2019 12:37 AM At first you are so excited you find a partner with most of the qualities you need. Eventually you find out he is not even marriage material. Its so dishaertening. God help us. Post Reply
View Profile History	Self control Posted : 29 Jan, 2019 09:39 AM Sistren, there is no hope there. The guy just wanted to have sex with you. Period. Move on swiftly. Do not compromise on your values. Post Reply
Chioniso View Profile History	Self control Posted : 30 Jan, 2019 03:21 AM Its so touching to note that you are so helpful. You are very correct sister. Now I got rid of him. I will stick to my values nomatter what. Post Reply

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