Author	Thread: Question on Sex
Shunammite View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 16 Jun, 2009 04:28 PM I believe we are all adults here, so I will just put my question out there! No offence intended � please, pardon any! I think that if you�ve never had sex, it is easier to stay chaste unto God in a love relationship. However, I feel after you�ve been married once, it�s a different challenge to handle, should you fall in love again. How do people handle this? That is, if you found someone that you fell in love with, how do you ensure purity in that relationship? My question is premised on the fact that this site is for Christians who believe in scripture � including the many cautions against fornication/adultery. But I also know we are not perfect, so please share your stories of faith and fall/restoration. But please don�t bother telling me �Everyone does it�. Everyone doesn�t ;-) Post Reply
View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 16 Jun, 2009 05:10 PM dear shuna, i have often thought about this. i think youre right it is easier for a virgin to stay pure for the simple reason they dont know what theyre missing. i mean the total package that comes with bein married to someone, not just sex wise. and ive also thought that i should never be with a virgin because to me that is a very special and unique gift for a woman to give to her husband on their wedding night. to me id feel as if i was dirtying her as i am not a pure man. ya know what i mean.. if theres any folks out there that are pure.. remain so cause folks thats one thing you can never get back once done. and if you dont wait for marriage to become a non virgin it is my strong belief that you will regret it.. the good LORD clearly tells us that that act is for marriage..and any act of disobedience will not be properly blessed. nothing good can some from starting out a relations in sin. as paul said it is better to marry than to burn with passion.. maybe thats why i been married so much hehe.. but folks who have been married before do face a huge temptation. the best thing to do is dont put yourself in a situation you cant back out of. remember GODS watching always.. even where others cant see. ole cattle Post Reply
prairiewriter View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 20 Jun, 2009 10:17 AM Dear ones, I would ask this question in a different way. There were many issues that drove my EX and I apart and one of them was that we were of a very different temperature when it came to sex. I personally think that sex is important in a marriage and I certainly would like to get married again, but I don't want it to become a stumbling block. So how do you know that you are of a same mind about sex? I will answer my own question this way. There shouldn't be any topics that can't be discussed if two people have fallen in love and intend to marry. Just do the discussing in a place where you won't be tempted to prove your point. Any thoughts on this. Steve Post Reply
ian777 View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 20 Jun, 2009 03:17 PM Good point Steve, in fact, I had two friends who got married, they lived about 5 hours apart. Temptation obviously wasn't much of a problem, so they reserved discussions of sex for on the phone where they talk about it without any temptations. They found it helped a lot. Ian Post Reply
tessa330 View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 20 Jun, 2009 03:35 PM Good question Shunammite, and since we are all adults here, what I'm going to say about this might answer questions that I've seen in other posts! I have put an age limmit on my profile for this reason. I got saved almost three years ago and have been sexually sober for over two years! But before the Holy Spirit dealt with me on sex before marriage, I had a very big appetite and had trouble finding men who could keep up. And the Flesh didn't like waiting for the viagra, etc. to kick in! But as I said the Holy Spirit dealt with me on this and informed me that I was looking for an intamacey that only God could give me! There is a Giant God sized hole in all of our spirits that we try using all manner of things to fill, and none of them work, cause God is the only thing that fills that space! G.B. Tess:prayingf: Post Reply
View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 20 Jun, 2009 04:32 PM dear tessa, well now a big amen to that.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 20 Jun, 2009 04:40 PM dear steve, i dont think a couple should be talking about that stuff before marriage.. to me that talk should be left for them and their wife or husband.. thats openin the door for satan to waltz right in... and if you think about it ive never had any bad sex. its all been good . so why need to discuss it ahead of time.. ? sex is important in a marriage but marriage is not all about sex as ive come to learn.. and if its all good then i have no need to know if were on the same page or not.. cause we will be .. if things are done in love after marriage.. just dont open that door before its time.. that is my belief.. ole cattle Post Reply
Shunammite View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 21 Jun, 2009 07:44 PM Interesting! So my new question is - To discuss or not to discuss? I married my previous husband in purity. Sex wasnt much of a temptation at the time since I hadnt tasted the forbidden fruit yet. After our separation and divorce, I have remained 'sober' - again relatively easy since my heart was tucked away peacefully :) But now, I know that I may find someone that I love soon and engage in a love relationship, and 'am somewhat concerned. Please keep the replies coming... ...In the multitude of counsel, there is safety! Post Reply
prairiewriter View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 22 Jun, 2009 02:20 PM Shummi, You may have answered your question. In multitudes. Just do group dating. It seems to work for most of the teens I know.:applause: Steve Post Reply
View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 22 Jun, 2009 03:40 PM dear steve ,, you make a good point there in your above statement.. dont be alone with em.. as most christian folks are doing right and waiting..and some of us its been quite awhile.. therefore the temptations is greater as we have waited..and we do know what were missing and it wouldnt take much to make us stumble.. hehe.. you both have got to be accountable ..to keep from it. and by never being alone you never have the chance to slip.. ole cattle Post Reply
Shunammite View Profile History	Question on Sex Posted : 22 Jun, 2009 04:23 PM How realistic is that though? I mean group dating. Keep in mind this is not just during the 'dating' phase or whatever it is called. Adultery is still adultery until you tie the knots, even in courtship or 1 hour before the wedding. It is still adultery. So do you also 'group-court'? Post Reply

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