Thread: I've asked God for a mate - where is he/she?
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I've asked God for a mate - where is he/she?
Posted : 4 Jun, 2009 06:17 AM
:waving:Hello brothers and sisters - family! I promised to address this topic a while ago, but as you know life can be quite busy! I hope what you are about to read will have been worth the wait for it is God's will concerning each of us as we wait patiently to meet that "someone special". Enjoy and feel free to crack open your Bible and engage!
Before I begin, just a few housekeeping notes for those of you who are unfamiliar::glow:
First question, who is Elisee and why the goofy dog picture?:goofball:
Elisee = Elise E. I used to have pictures posted but thought better of it because (a) I didn't like the shallow responses it garnered (b) As a business owner, involved in evangelism and working on a doctorate in theology discretion is tres importante!lol. People tend to think if you're involved in ministry you are supposed to be "perfect" and hold it against you for possessing the full range/gambit of human emotion. I did not want to "give 'em something to talk about" :devil: (in the words of one steel guitar strumming singer) and finally(c) I found sharing pictures once a person's honor, integrity and character (things that are paramount) to be a better way!! I don't care to have my face determine whether or not someone stops to say hello or not. Personally, I am attracted to men from the inside out because of the God in them...I want a man attracted to me the same way! To each his own, do what you want and please afford me that same right! Don't let the doggy distract you from what follows for it will help you on your journey. It is the pure unadulterated Word of God specifically addressing dating issues and answers.
:rolleyes:Ever wonder why the mystery surrounding God's will? Simply put: GODS WORD IS HIS WILL! Every aspect of our christian lives today are addressed by Gods word for His word IS his will for our lives! The only mystery concerning God's will is what we have not studied and hidden in our hearts!!
Fianlly, what follows is a series addressing modern day dating and God's plan for christian singles . Forget about me. I am not your focus. What follows are answers to questions most singles have entertained at some point or another. This study of Gods will - His word concerning your singleness will bless you if you are open to be blessed. At its conclusion you will not only know what God plans for you - but will understand just how much he is in the seemingly "meaningless" details of your dating experiences! Your perspective on yourself, Gods will and plan for your "mating experience" will absolutely change your life and how you go through this season of your life. Promise!
Ready? Ok hurry, grab your Bible and lets go...
PART I - The hardest lesson of all:
God isn't so much concerned about who we marry as who we are!! What?:excited: Its true! Look at Romans 12:1. We are strongly urged (beseeched) by Paul to present OURSELVES a living sacrifice - holy and acceptable to Christ...Paul goes on to say this is our REASONABLE service! As christians we must discard the garbage thrown at us by the world: fornication, lust, selfish pride: Sex was created by God to be wonderful and beautiful - the world has turned this most precious gift between a married man and a woman into a billion dollar a year porn industry that even exploits children! Paul cautions however that as christians (followers of Christ and not of the world's system of values) that we are to be transformed by the "renewing" of our minds. Why? So that WE might prove what is the good and acceptable and PERFECT WILL of God!! We're supposed to not only know, but prove Gods will...how? by being transformed. How? Thru the renewing of our minds - daily, hourly, minute to minute if necessary!
Don't miss this point: God's will is not a mystery to the christian whose mind is renewed - look at that scripture again: Romans 12:1-4 "Be not conformed to this world...but be transformed by the renewing of your mind ...that ye may prove the good, acceptable and PERFECT WILL OF GOD. God has a plan for your life that is not a mystery that you can only tap into if your mind is renewed! Furthermore, check out I Cor 7:...if you are not bound to a wife/husband - don't seek to be (paraphrasing)! I can already hear: "Come off it sis - we're on a singles site and so are you! We want to be married"!! :MrT: I get that, and thats not a problem...the problem comes when our desires- our mental playground changes our spiritual heart: We want to be married or coupled so badly we forget the lesson God is trying to give us: Don't want marriage/coupling so badly that you throw out my perfect will focusing on your desires sooOOO much that you step over my perfect will for you which would be manifest if only your first priority was the renewing of your mind rather than mating/coupling/marrying!!
Priorities are important to God! God is saying, I am not nor is my will for your life a spooky mystery. I reveal my will concerning your singleness when you transform your mind through renewal. Otherwise partnering with someone is simply a "shot in the dark" for you and I want more/ better than that for you"!! See it? Paul says if you're not married - don't seek to be...another scripture says: Seek ye first the kingdom of God...and everything else (husband/wife) will be added to you! (Matthew 6:33). Get it? If we seek God first we honor HIS counsel, and HIS will for our mates, is made manifest. That is respect that comes with reward. The choice is ours...we can fail to seek God focusing rather on seeking a mate but we will create a mountain to climb that God never intended. By renewing our minds thru prayer and submission to his priorities we are saying to God: "Lord I trust you wholly and completely" setting us up not just for marriage but successful marriages founded on Godly principles of honoring God rather than leaning on our own understanding and pitiful counsel!
Conclusion: If we follow Psalms 37:4 (Delight thyself in the Lord and HE WILL give you the desire of thine heart), and prioritize God's calling in our lives to FIRST PRSENT OURSELVES TO HIM alone, our minds will be transformed thru renewal of the Spirit so that we better understand God's perspective on finding the RIGHT MATE!! We will have the mind and will of God moving us towards the person HE intends for us to marry and we will no longer be moved by silly things like physical attraction missing the person GOD HAS FOR US! :toomuch: Why do you suppose the divorce rate is so high...even in the church?! People have failed to prioritize, substituting their desperate desires for GODS PERFECT WILL HIS will is made so simple and plain:
1. Understand God's perspective - I Cor 7
2. Know God's calling in your life - Romans 12:1-4
3. Align your priorities with Gods - Matthew 6:33
4. Transform your way of thinking by renewing your thoughts about singleness - lay yourself on the altar and make a living sacrifice of your will to HIS.
Hope you enjoyed and got something out of this...Part II will look at God's timing for bringing lasting love into our single lives:laugh:
If I might offer this: Learn to pray the word. Gods word is HIS will and when we don't know how to pray, we give HIS word back to HIM and He honors it because His word is true and He is not a man that he should lie amen? Try inserting yourself in the above referenced scriptures and watch God work it out!
Till next time may God richly bless you my beloved family!
Deal is, this simply isnt the same as, I am hungry, I am going to go find food to eat. I am lonely, I am going to find someone and mate.
I have alot of freinds who are older (35+) and are single, and are COMPLAINING about being single. they are actually voicing very disturbing things to me, like * I would settle for someone to just BE WITH* etc etc. No No NO.
See, your going to pick out a car, you have specific needs. you need it to talk you a long time, and for it to be dependable, and not too costly to care for, etc etc.
so you settle for a guy who will just *do* for a while, well, like a bad choice in cars, what happens when he starts letting you down all the time and you are *late for work/ and break down on the highway* all the time, etc. Now your paying the price for your impatience.
Its better to have NO car at all and just use RELIABLE public transportation (something that might not be ideal, someowhat inconvienient or as comfortable as you want, but you can count on it) until you get the right deal on the right vehicle.
Because as we all know, once you buy a cruddy car, they are never worth as much as you pay for them and are much more of a pain to get rid of.
The most fulfilling relationship that I will ever have is with Jesus, He alone satisfies, He does not disappoint, and I am never alone. If I am to spend the rest of my life single, I am content. If He blesses me with a husband that is great, but only if we can serve the Lord more effectively together. If a husband will be a distraction in any way from my walk with the Lord or from ministry, I would rather be single.
Php 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
I believe that the time is short and we need to use it wisely, people are perishing all around us! We must be more focused on Kingdom business and less focused on our own. If a spouse will go out with us and share the good news with a dying world, then God bring on the spouse! If not let us remain single and serve without distraction.
1Co 7:32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
1Co 7:33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
Hey guys thanks for joining me in this journey through Gods word! Lydia I always enjoy your posts - so insightful and wise! 07 and Ian glad you stopped by!
This is not just another conversational/opinion post. It is annointed and literally a walk through Gods word that will not only answer this frequently posed question "I've asked God for a Mate-where is he/she", but will grow us spiritually. WARNING: It is not a journey for the faint of heart or for those simply wanting to kick a topic around. Engaging in this discussion will not only answer this question, it will change your life - how you view yourself, your God and in the end you will fully understand Gods plan for your life - single or otherwise! If you are serious about knowing where your mate is stop right reading right now. Go get your Bible and lets go!
If you didn't get a chance to read the opening post (yesterday) check it out. In the meantime, here is a very brief recap of some startling truths uncovered in God's word:
1. Gods will is not a mystery; His word is His will.
2. God's plan for our lives (marital status too) is plain.
3. Understanding God's plan for your life requires:
a) Replacing our perspective with Gods - I Cor 7
b) Understanding that God expects us to become
living sacrifices - offering our lives to HIM fully!
" God here I am. I want YOU more than a spouse"!
Romans 12:1-4
c) When we do this we honor Paul's truth about not
conforming to the things of the world but rather
we can then be "transformed thru the renewing of
our minds- and that family is not a point to pass over
lightly!!! Heres what it means: When we are baptized
into Christ, when we ascribe - conform to the things
of God. When we are concerned about what God
is concerned about we cross over from the laws of
natural into the laws of the Spiritual...that means
we align ourselves with Gods word and will for our
lives! Hallelujah! We no longer think of marriage
and sex in the garbage way the world thinks of it.
Rather, we can then (once transformed) "PROVE
WHAT IS THAT GOOD AND ACCEPTABLE PERFECT
WILL OF GOD! Do you see that? God is saying,
"I have a perfect will for your life and it is not a
mystery...I want you to know it but you can only
know my will concerning your life - life partner or
when you are transformed by the renewing of your
mind!" In other word if you you can either be
conformed to the worlds way of living - happenstance
hit or miss, with worldly values like "that ones pretty"
or you can choose to be transformed and KNOW
His will for your life and your love. The choice is ours!!
If we make the right choice: We then become subject
to and beneficiary of laws that only apply to kingdom
believers! We will begin to see ourselves as God
see us in all things - marital status too! Too many
of us are born into the Kingdom of God but never
partake of the nourishment required to grow in
love (natural and otherwise) and grace. I mean
seriously - think about it. We become "christians"
and never move beyond that point!! Its like an
infant being born and never moving beyond that
stage- never crawling, walking ....If you think about
it, its almost ridiculous! Every other faith - Hinduism
Buddism, Judaism has steps of growth expected.
Here, the great God of heaven, invites us to not
only know HIM but HIS PERFECT WILL FOR OUR
LIVES! Still, we would rather sit Sunday after Sunday
on church pews "in the dark" mourning WHATEVER
God's will might be when HE invites us to know!
People often point to the prayer example Jesus gave
when He said..."Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done.
A little perspective here? This is not Jesus saying,
"you don't know what my will is so just throw your
hands up"! No, no, no! I don't want to get side-
tracked here so we'll save it for another topic but
for the purpose of this dicussion and context: This
example of prayer actually bolsters the fact that
we are to know Gods will! How?
"Thy kingdom come" is a request for God to rule our
"Thy will be done" is a request TO KNOW God's will
because HIS WILL is being done in heaven - just
let us glimpse what that is and let it be done here
on earth! See we cannot pray Gods will unless we
know God's will right? We can only know God's will
if and when we get to peek into heaven- we only
peek into heaven when we think like Christ...when
we are transformed by the renewing of OUR minds!
**See we do not pray to change God's will, we simply
cooperate with His will - when we know it that is!
God's will is right. God's will is just. God's will is
complete and God's will is best! We don't tell God
what is right, just or best...HE KNOWS who needs
to be healed, touched, married. We simply align
ourselves with Gods will using the example Jesus
gave us in John 5:19. Jesus looks to the Father,
and recognized His will is being done in heaven as
we speak (or write,lol) and prayed it would be
done on earth - miracles were performed! See?
Bottom line? You want to be in on some miracles?
inquire into the heavelies - know whats going on
in heaven, and you will know what Gods will on
earth is! You can only do that thru transformation
of your natural mind!
Finally yesterday we shared this thought: Matthew
6:33. Prioritize - seek His kingdom FIRST...before
consulting friends, your own desires...seek Him
FIRST and all else (mate...) will follow! Amen? Psalms
37:4 tells us to delight ourselves in the LORD. If we
do this, finding a mate will not be the burning thing
that haunts us day and night. Our passion will be
discovering God and that is when tranformation
happens opening the door to knowing God's plan
for our lives right down to the minute mating details!
Now I've spent more time than expected reviewing yesterdays post...but that is as it should be I suspect it may be a blessing to someone...for today, in the interest of time, and space I will make only the following observation/point:
Once we get in tuned with Gods will for our lives we have to understand that God's timing for our lives is not ours... Scripture says one day with the Lord is as a thousand years right? In other words Gods timing is not our timing and we must be ready/prepared for the long haul should it take that long. Once you commit to trusting and believing God for your mate or whatever...the devil is going to hit you with the kitchen sink!! If God doesn't show up yesterday, doubts and questions and depression will overtake your mind if it is not renewed! Lets look briefly at examples of those who trusted God for a mate in the Bible and we'll talk more about it tomarrow...k?
Isaac and Rebecca > DO NOT NEGLECT TO RE-READ THIS GREAT LOVE STORY FAMILY! DO IT NOW!! Isaac was in his late 30's when his father (like our heavenly Father) decided it was time for him to wed! His father, Abraham, sends a servant out to find a wife for Isaac...Isaac never got to say, I want her to be a coke bottle with green eyes and purple hair, he trusted HIS father to have his best interest at heart! Hello brothers? lol Anyway the servant takes instruction from the father (gotta read this!) and sure enough this chick shows up and gives Nahor (the servant) all that he wanted...ALL THAT HE WANTED of water...which was the sign that she was the one that would marry Isaac! Brothers get this! Sisters get this: Not just the age of Isaac, not just the timing of God for the planned meeting, or the fact that Isaac comfortably rested knowing HIS father would choose best - but get this:!!! the woman shows up and UNSELFISHLY GIVES ALL the water this man wanted not just for him but for his animals as well! Listen, I don't wanna go to deep here but let me share something with you...this lady had to haul water up out of that well weighing over her body weight time and again....Don't rush into relationships, don't move ahead of God, HE knows best and who best will suit you and will give to you unselfishly and she/he may not look like a magazine cover either!
Enough! Tomarrow we'll look at some other Biblical singles yielding to God's will and patiently waiting and hopefully won't be as long winded! Still I hope somethings been said here today that blesses you!
Love, peace and honor - your sis Elise.:rocknroll:
Loved your posts and agree with you completely. Some very good and biblically backed advice that I for one will take to heart. The great thing is, that it doesn't just work for dating/marriage it works for every concern in our lives. Thank you and I will continue to follow your posts.
:waving:Amen, brother! I'm so glad you stopped by...and thank you so much for pointing out the fact that this goes well beyond relationships and marriage! Such a good point to make! I didn't get a chance to complete it but will work on it tonight or Monday! God bless! Elise:applause:
Ok so today is Sunday...just a few moments before church so I'll pick up where I left off the other day - without a really brife review!lol If you have missed the first and second part try to read them because we're building on something vital to single christians here and answering the question:
"I've asked God for a mate - where is he/she?":excited:
Part I > Gods will for our lives is not a mystery! We can and should know God's will (including marital status) if we simply do it HIS way making HIM first and being transformed thru the renewing of our minds which allows us to know HIS will.
Part II > Reasons not to be alarmed/overly concerned
about being single: Understanding and appreciating God's timing rather than our own - Bible examples>
First example: ISAAC AND REBECCA
What we learned from their great love story the other day:
1. Isaac trusted his father (Abraham) completely to know not only WHO to choose for him, but WHEN and HOW. We need to do that family! We need to trust God knows WHO
WHEN and HOW.
Isaac was in his late 30's before he married!
Isaac did not say, "I want a real looker Dad" He let Abraham choose his bride completely confident in his Father? Hello?
Isaac reaped the benefits because his patience paid off!! His father (like our heavenly Father) chose a woman who was completely giving and unselfish...Isaac busied himself enjoying the present day - as we should live in and experience our todays! Tomarrow will come soon enough. In the meanwhile I Cor 13:4 clearly states:
:angel:"Love is patient" - Could it be that God wants to perfect patience in singles before expecting them to implement such a required skill in a relationship? Is it possible that God wants to work complete selflessness singles before allowing them to wreck a holy union called marriage never having learned selflessness? Could it be....(cliff hanger music playing, lol)
Think about it...in the meanwhile lets look at todays example of a single person found in the Bible that will help to increase our understanding of the answer to this all important question:
"I've asked God for a mate - where is he/she?":MrT:
I gotta hurry here folks, church today!lol
JACOB AND RACHEL
Ok so you're a christian...read the Bible and know the story right? Hello?lol
Alrightee then: Jacob like many men, sees this chick - Rachel. Shes so "da bomb" so "phat" so whatever kids say these days...oh yeah "ugly" or is it "sick"? Whatever, anyway...
Jacob sees Rachels beauty and is so overcome he runs up and flat out kisses her! :prayingf::dancingp::boxing:
One kiss and the guy turns into a blubbering mess: Bible says he kisses her then he - get this "wept". What? That ever happened to any of you modern day gents? Anyway Jacob goes to her dad (Laban) and says I want to marry your daughter! Laban says, "Really"?..."uhm..you want to marry my daughter Rachel"? "yes, yes YES!" Jacob cries...ok little dramatic but it happened. Ok so Laban says:
"If you want to marry her, you'll need to work seven - excuse me 7 - SEVEN YEARS first...and then we'll talk about it! Say what? :ROFL::goofball::MrT::winksmile:NO WAY!
Yes. Way. Laban worked seven long hard years but the days probably seemed like only a few because brother was - shall we say inspired, sprung...whatever...Most men especially today would have laughed, scoffed, coughed and well boogied on down to Nineveh! (so to speak - just kidding about Nineveh, lighten up!)lol But guys, seriously would you have agreed to such a thing?
Jacob did and he proved a point... a couple points actually:
1. God wants singles to understand COMMITMENT so that this holy union is honored.
* nearly 98 percent of church couples are in marital counseling at some point or another because they made a commitment to a marriage before building the proper foundation which goes back to our first post dealing with prioritizing God and having our minds renewed so that we can know the will of God concerning our lives and get that proper foundation. PREMATURE COMMITMENT BEFORE THE PROPER FOUNDATION IS LAID IS DIVORCE DISASTER!
2. TIMING - oops there it is again! Picking a flower before it blooms kills the flower. Building a house on an incomplete, shoddy foundation equals major problems later huh? So God desires to build the house - laying the foundation will take some time...but if done right, the house will stand. Amen?
So today, once again we look at examples of single people in the Bible. They teach us and encourage us that this question: " I've asked God for a mate - where is he/she?" is both viable and demonstrably telling of our walk with and trust in God to work out the details.
K? Next time we'll take a peek at Moses...you'll love this!
We're going somewhere here and hope blessings are coming your way. Please jump in and let me know your thoughts and share observations from your experience.
Til then - Peace family, gotta get to church!:yay::peace::dancingp::applause::prayingf:
Thank you for the biblical insight on this topic. What a blessed post to have on a singles site. I have enjoyed reading everything that all have contributed thus far regarding this topic.
Great posts Elisee--You are a dynamic woman of God.
Tristan--Right on brother! Thank you for contributing a Godly man's insight as well.
Lydia--Always a pleasure to hear your Godly wisdom, you bless my spirit woman of God! I'm glad you are back spreading His Word and Godly advice!
Praise the Lord for HIS WORD and direction to singles and how we should conduct our daily lives for HIS Kingdom's sake! Thank you Elisee for 'hitting the nail on the head!'
I thank the Lord for this time of singleness. He is worthy to be praised! :yay:
