Brethren...do you feel sharing intimate details about your past experiences/relationships being unveiled to a potential suitor during the early stages of communicating, or should it be wiser to discuss things after there's a commitment?
I know timing is of essence and knowing that particular individual well enough to determine when to do this is critical, but from your experiences when was it more successful to do so?
Thank you my sister! Placing ALL things in God's hands is a given in any situation! But with that said...after seeking God's guidance and direction, my true interest is in the application person's would use regarding my OP.
Getting other's take on this, gives a variety of perspectives one could possibly use and incorporate in their own strategy of the "when" and "how" to be transparent with that potential suitor! It's something that could make or break the prospect of a healthy, life-long commitment! Something that I believe, though it may not be as rewarding as the journey we are all on thru and in Christ Jesus...is why most of us are here on a dating site(smile)!
Using God's wisdom, after it's imparted, is still left up to us to be used wisely!! In Him ALL things are made possible...
I understand sister! The "application" is important and how info is applied can "make or break " it with a potential suitor!
IMHO what you just said only cements what I said!
People can be well meaning and people have good intentions. Does that excuse the fact that it can be bad advice. (smile)
Well actually maybe so because it wasnt given unless it was asked of...
To me , the word intimate implies that it is very private information and something that is kept close to the vest unless one has developed some trust of the other party . Intimate implies that it is not ordinary, everyday, run of the mill info!
Intimate implies that if divulged; you could be hurt if divulged to one that didnt deserve your trust in him.
Only you know the nature of this intimate information! That is why the "when" and "how" to spill the beans should be at Gods leading. imho
Ask God to guide you and teach you in the hour. Gods knows this other persons heart and God already knows what is going to happen.
God tells Moses in exodus 4:12:
Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say."
God was concerned for Moses because he was self diffident. God set it up that Aaron would speak. God directed the mouth of Aaron because God is concerned about all things in his childrens lives. In light of Moses sloth to do what he needed to do, God still came in and helped him through Aaron.
God knows if this man is whom you will marry . God knows if you do not ask him to lead you in this situation that what you say and when you say it and how you say it >could all be in vain!! Maybe it wont be! I guess that it my point. Leave all the details to the one who is all knowing. This is called perfect faith!!!
May The Lord continue to guide us and teach us in the hour...
All we have to do is ask. I do it all the time. It is absolutely amazing what God does when I am praying this in the midst of a situation where I need guidance.
God is into the details. His say is final or at least it should be!
Obviously situations differ, but my rule of thumb is that most personal information comes out in the first several conversations. Things that I realize some women will not want to deal with ... I want them to know after a few phone calls.
By the time we actually reach a commitment ... where we're adjusting our plans for our lives based on future prospects ... if she doesn't know about my basic beliefs, my past relationship(s), my prospects and desires (or lack thereof) for more children ... then I haven't been fair to her.
By the time we've talked several hours, I would like to know whether all a lady's kids have the same dad. How long she's been a Christian. What kind of church she attends and why.
There are plenty of fish in the sea ... and we owe it to ourselves and one another to be careful fishers.
Well said my brother! Please correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to have simply stated your version of Godly wisdom imparted to you thru your life experiences, whether knowingly or unknowingly, it was ultimately Him guiding your path upon...am I close(smile)?
And your right, there will always be different interpretations based on a persons, personal encounters...I respect your need to be as upfront and as honest about certain aspects of your past with someone of interest, as soon as time allows! Others may handle things differently...but what works and brings the best results that clearly edifies and pleases God, is truly all that matters! Thank you for sharing.
...by edifying "you", the Church, the unsaved...anyone who would listen to The Word of God that has been embedded in my spirit, planted in my heart, lived thru and in my life, which I pray "edifies" many, thus pleasing God!---
Ephesians 4:12-16--(12) For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: (13) Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ: (14) That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; (15) But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: (16) From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.
My sister, I'm here not only to allow The Lord to use me whichever way He pleases, but because this is a "dating site" and I believe not a site for a "war of words", I'm focused on positioning myself for that extraordinary soul God has prepared for me and me for him(smile)...I have nothing to prove to anyone but to The Lord, daily, of how much I need and love Him!! Stay blessed and well kept in Him.
