Guys, what are some of the things that keep you motivated in your desire to be with that special one? For me, lately, it's been just pure curiosity of who that person may be.....possibly a person whom I would have least likely expected to be the "one" or someone that I've considered just a friend, but later discovering it was more....ummmmmm, just thinking out loud(smile)!!
My ego, I guess. Just the challenge of seeing if I can figure out how to get some one I'm interested in to be interested in me instead of having to settle. Other than that there's no real fun in any of this whatsoever.
I sense sadness in your reply...Is that all there is to you on this site....just a ...a game??? surely not...fun to win...fun ...Chasing ...a silly and pointless game of get someone interested and then...what...walk away??? There are a lot of wonderful women here who could see you as the finest mate that God could grant to anyone...and you want to satisfy your vanity/ego
What can I say, I've been let down too many times to have any sort of hope or see it as fun. It's just negative re-enforcement and yet I'm too proud (my ego is too big to allow me) to quit. Only an idiot does the same thing over and over expecting a different result, especially if it involves a lot of time, effort, and focus on their part. Eh, I don't know, maybe I should give up all together or at least take a break and build myself up again, but then what's the point if it's just going to be so I can come back on here and get torn down all over again. You do see my point by now, right?
Have you considered approaching ladies in person, maybe you'll be more advantaged inperson than online. Inperson your smile as you break the ice with the lady can 'earn' you her smile back. A joke that may not be funny can make her laugh at your facial expression as you said it. Few things through body language can work to your advantage versus here when one may not know how you meant what you said, and may not even ask but rather move on to the next profile.
I personally don't think its as bad as you make it to be friend. You've been lucky few different times. Can I tell you what I think your problem is....? Can inbox you if you not comfortable hearing this here. Should I.....?
Part of my negativity comes from when I did ask some one in person. And it just makes me realize every single time I ever did try to approach some one in person I just regret it. I really envy women and how easy it is for them to find people who love them and how they can laugh about all the idiots who ever thought they were good enough to be with them.
"Part of my negatively comes from when I did ask someone in person. And it just makes me realize every single time I ever did try to approach someone in person I just regret it..."
Ok friendship how about trying a different strategy then. Since online dating is just as 'bad' for your personal experience as approaching inperson. How about that tip that I gave you earlier in how Rebekah was found on behalf of Isaac. Abraham's servant and God had a heart to heart conversation in agreement of signs she was gonna be recognized with as the 'suitable mate' for Isaac.
Yes the bible doesn't really say if there were plenty ladies there by the well... I by no means intend to add my own words, though at times when reading with an imaginative mind, you can try figure out as making a scenario in your mind of how the situation could have been there. Chances are there were other ladies that would have confused the servant in recognizing Rebekah hence he asked for God's help through signs of how to recognize her.
How about asking God to send you someone for a change? Have your requirements and values mentioned to God and see if He won't send you a 'suitable person' to complement you. Through it still goes back to what I wanted to warn you with as a friend. Can I kindly ask you to make time and go read my question to Amstel in a forum of "Suggesting new topics and subjects" Its a long question I asked him about ladies initiating a relationship that can lead to marriege.
Here goes my observation of what I think your 'problem' is: You lose interest very easy and quick. The two of us with this attitude are not going anywhere.... Yes friendship it makes the two of us or else I wouldn't have noticed the signs if I wasn't in the same boat with you. With me atleast I've made peace with relationships not being my search. With you its a lot different cause you searching and you're the guy to make things worst, should be on a driving seat here. How will you master that being the one losing interested easy? Most probably you gonna be the 'pursuin'g part which may require you to be more persistent before the lady may come around and partake in your idea of 'us' moving forth together.
There was Sissy from another dating site who postponed on a last minute. I asked you not to react to it. Atleast she hasn't changes her mind about the date, something came up. I asked you to show understanding. Few weeks latter when I checked on how things were going between the two of you, you were no longer responding her massages. Now the lady's putting effort, you no longer around to embrace.
A month later (could have missed calculated, could have been more than a month) I checked on you. There was a new lady that I forgotten her name... Think she's Jessica. You were excited and a little concerned that she was taller than you. We had our discussion about it, you seemed ok after. Some time during early December I asked you how were things going with the new lady?
You've stopped reaching out, you've lost interest in her. I didn't ask you in details but that confirmed your problem to me. You do meet wonderful ladies on dating sites. In a short space you lose interest friendship.
Now can you be entrusted with a solid argument without pulling out and walking away, if a lady was to test you if you can step up to your ground and still find your intimacy afterwards through resolving what got the two of you arguing from the first place?
(By argument i'm not referring to yelling, but rather your differences where you must just agree to disagree and still see to it that when departing after your meeting, both parties are still on the same page of 'us' moving forth together)
I really could be wrong here,
I'm open for your side of a story my dear friend. You welcome to inbox me if you don't wanna talk about this here.
I do lose interest very fast because of how flaky and inconsistent women are on here. Over time, the conclusion I arrived at is the more interest I show the less likely she'll be interested in me and the more likely I am to get hurt. So it's lose-lose. I'm tired of setting myself up for a hard fall that will leave me in pain weeks and months later. I'm tired of playing the fool. Now I do my best to show as little interest as possible, just enough to get by, knowing any day the wind is going to change directions and they'll change how they feel and that's where they'll be going. How interested I am and how hard I try just doesn't matter and isn't enough to change how they feel. If there's even the slightest hint or hesitation on their part, I'm bailing because I know exactly what's coming next and I'm not going to be the one left holding the bag. Better them than me. Besides, they'll be fine anyway. They're women and always have guys who are interested in them and it's not like they cared about me or how I would feel anyway and even if they did, it still wouldn't change anything.
Anyway, that's pretty much my situation and mindset.
Maybe you need time off from dating hey, so you clear your mind by focusing on constructive activities that are gonna inpact your being for the better..... Only you know what those activities are friend. Something inline with God that you love doing, and feeling good after you've done it. You'll be amazed how rewarding it may be. May inpact on your confident too when the intention was not to work on rebuilding your confident. After all we discover our selves when spending time with God.
Out of interest sake,
Can I ask you to share your thought on what I asked Amstel please. Wanna hear your view on it.
Its a little tricky question that can be easely misunderstood if one misses what inspired me to ask that question. Its less about a woman cheating her husband when she was the one who initiated a relationship from the first place.
Its less about how big or small her fault is... Could have been any other sin she may have committed,
Its even less about 'Why has she done it?'
Its rather more of how far will a husband go in demonstrating Christ's kind of forgiveness..... Especially if he was approached only to be treated unfairly, with the expectation of being forgiven as unconditional as Christ forgives the church.
Should a woman initiate or a guy must choose a woman for himself that his gonna be willing to lay his life for her like Christ does with the church?
