Author	Thread: Marriage
dmaxwel1 View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 08:52 AM The thing is that the concept of marriage in the bible is much bigger than the world's interpretation. Maybe some pastors miss the mark on this topic at times... Our mother the Church (Revelation 12:17) is preparing to meet her husband really soon... This marriage will be the culmination of thousands of years of the human experience. Human marriage is a microcosm of a much bigger story and vantage point. We have the opportunity to learn about it individually, but many fail (including myself) to appreciate and also persevere in marriage because the definition and purpose at the onset is not fully understood. And as you know, the waters are becoming even more muddy as time goes on... Just know that the saints are the seed of that woman and she is going to marry her groom. And as we know that husband (who is God and is in God) will come for his wife and they will become one flesh. We will all then be all in all (1 Corinthians 15:27-28)..." An approach to this issue based on the word of God... The original design of the husband and wife relationship had included a mutually dependent relationship. God did not believe man should be alone, as a matter of fact he said everything in creation up to the point of creating woman was good. But it was NOT good for the man to be alone. God intended for man and woman to work together to achieve a purpose or vision. God gave man the vision and gave the woman the job to support (or help) to accomplish this purpose. Men and women were designed to compliment one another and the relationship was supposed to be one of a perpetual cycle of giving... Each filling the need of the other continuously... However, this cycle (circle or spiral) has been broken due to many factors. In western society and with the advent of the feminist movement, there has been a redefining of status in the male/female relationship. Instead of Godly intent, emphasis has been placed on economic standards and other standards that undermine the principals of cooperation and mutual respect... Adversarial relationships have become more common place and the pursuit of independence from one another has caused a rift or divide that can only be mended by returning to the fundamentals of God's intent for the foundation of the family. No home should be without the family vision that was provided to the man by God. This statement of purpose will help to guide the relationship to embrace the precepts that God has set forth. A woman should not accept a man without a Godly vision and they should not embrace a man who's vision they cannot support. Meaning your personal goals, and aspirations should be able to be accomplished within the vision of your spouse. If this is not the case, you are in immediate jeopardy of living outside of God's original plan for marriage. A true vision should not be able to be accomplished by yourself. This fact helps to facilitate the cycle of giving. A vision should encompass your entire life so there is no excuse for the cycle to be broken. Post Reply
View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 09:03 AM People who want to stay independent in marriages have always puzzled me. The whole idea behind marriage is to give up independence for co-dependence after all. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 09:57 AM I don't think co-dependence is healthy and maybe that's not what you actually meant. I feel like it should be total dependence on Christ, and only co-operation in marriage. If you depend on anyone else, I feel like it's doing Christ a disservice, and depending on another human for anything is a veritable breeding ground for unhappiness. I've only experienced two relationships, one was the epitome of dependence on another person and it turned toxic like so many of those kind of relationships do. She "depended" on me, and expected things from me, and when I couldn't/wouldn't deliver, or failed to meet her desires, then the relationship would take a nose dive, and it happened a lot. The other has been like a breath of fresh air. Two independent people, no judgment, no expectations, just a couple like-minded souls that love each other, enjoy each other's company a whole lot, and work together well. It's very stable so far, and I think the reason is because I don't depend on her or expect anything from her that she doesn't want to freely give me, and I love to be around her because she treats me the same way. Be someone that finds their strength and confidence in Christ. Find someone that finds their strength and confidence in Christ. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 10:02 AM Matthew 19:4-6 ESV He answered, �Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, �Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh�? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.� The way I see it. On our own we are not whole individuals anyway. When a man and woman marries the two halves starts to disappear and a new whole starts to form. I becomes we, in the fullest sense. Note: this is only for marriage, not dating. Post Reply
View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 10:10 AM And yes I also believe that once unmarried people sleep together they are obligated to marry. While we are on the subject. Post Reply
dmaxwel1 View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 12:24 PM From a biblical standpoint, I am not sure how one can come to the conclusion that parties in a marriage are to be independent of each other... Again, the ultimate marriage is Christ with the church. Clearly the body cannot be without the head... This is a goal. It is not going to be easy, but it will be less difficult if both understand and agree going in... Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 03:27 PM Ummmmmmm........to be independent, yet not co-dependent....to know that though God made it clear in His Word that the two are to become "one flesh", there will always be differences in opinions, personalities, thinking! How do you incorporate "the individuals as a whole", that each feels their personal contributions, their gifts, their likes and dislikes.....their person, without neither feeling that, in some instances, left out.....not being able to give that "100%" of what they have to give.......just asking...... I think, believe it or not, that coming together as one in Christ is the easy part! The challenge is becoming like minded, willing to agree to disagree, willing to compromise and make unselfish sacrifices.....that, from my experience or lack of, takes a great deal of patience and a whole lot of faith, trust and prayer(smile)! Post Reply
View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 04:45 PM Codependent vs interdependent? Post Reply
dmaxwel1 View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 04:49 PM No home should be without the family vision that was provided to the man by God. This statement of purpose will help to guide the relationship to embrace the precepts that God has set forth. A woman should not accept a man without a Godly vision and they should not embrace a man who's vision they cannot support. A woman's personal goals, and aspirations should be able to be accomplished within the family vision. Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 4 Dec, 2013 05:11 PM @cph.......exactly! For the two to meet......only if we can truly let go and let God! Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Marriage Posted : 6 Dec, 2013 12:59 PM Interdependent sounds better. Co-dependence or dependence doesn't work so well, not from what I've seen. When I hear "dependence", I think like "on drugs", something you need, something you obsess about, something you can't function normally without, and I don't think that is what a godly relationship is like. That might be what RomComs promote, but I don't think they are quite up to par on biblical relationship advice. I don't want to be married to someone who is links their existence to me, to my every action or every mood. I want to be married to someone who is stable because they are built on the Rock, and nothing I do will shake them from their position. In that sense, I want my wife to be very independent from me, and extremely dependent on Him. Also, unity of the "flesh" is not what I'm talking about. Spouses should be one flesh and, more importantly, of one mind, but not each other's mind. Christ's mind. From what I understand of the bible, God wants to be the most important and most powerful thing in our lives, and I don't think He wants us to be dependent on anything else from this world. :peace::peace: Post Reply

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