Thread: How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Admin
How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Posted : 3 Feb, 2009 11:04 AM
I don't mind letting God be in control cause I want it to be ordained by God himself and not just thinking I can do it in myself or anything. What should a man do before considering getting into a serious relationship?
How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Posted : 3 Feb, 2009 11:36 AM
ASG,
Since God can use any means to accomplish His will, I would pray and ask Him to send a godly woman for you and at the same time you can be on a website such as this one. Just maybe the one that He has for you is on here too.
In the mean time you can be in prayer, asking Him to help you to be that strong man of God who will love, lead, and guide his wife in her walk with the Lord.
How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Posted : 3 Feb, 2009 11:42 AM
God will help us find a mate, but He won't do it for you. He will make sure she is there for you to find, but you still have to pursue her. Prayer is our greatest tool for this.
There is a joke about a guy caught in a flood. He is on the roof of his house with the water rising, and he is praying for God to save him. A boat comes along and asks if he wants a ride to safety.
The man says no, God will save me. Another boat comes along a little later with the same results.
Finally, with water lapping at his feet, a helicopter comes by, which he also sends away. Then he drowns.
When he gets to heaven, he asks God why He didn't save him?
God said, I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter, what more do you want.
Sometimes we get caught up in that mentality. We expect the heavens to open and the glory of God to shine on the one He sends, when in reality, she is probably the lady that smiles shyly at you at church every Sunday. Or the friendly cashier at the convenience store where you buy your coffee every morning. Or maybe even that nice friend that you have known forever and don't even consider a woman, but a buddy.
God will put them there....it is our job to know them when we see them. Open your eyes, and your heart, and you will be surprised at how many beautiful Christian ladies are all around you. This site is full of them. Look around you, you probably are not here by accident.
How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Posted : 4 Feb, 2009 10:00 AM
So true Lydia and Leon,
God has already told us to ask, seek, and knock. As well as to search the land. Waiting on God does not mean to do nothing, and you can't very well do any of these things sitting back and not putting forth any efforts of interest.
Faith is the substance (an ingredient) that goes into the things we hope for(confidence), and is the evidence( facts about God's promises) of the things we do not see.
How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Posted : 4 Feb, 2009 11:47 AM
You mean we can't just sit at home and watch TV and expect that there will be a knock on our door and poof there appears the Federal Express man or woman with an Angel next to them and say..."Here is THE One for you"? Oh my...what was I thinking. LOL
You know all kidding aside the Calvinist concepts of Predestiny have permeated many Christians thinking in that God has someone already picked out for them. That He has "Predestined" someone special just for us. How utterly absurd! Yes God will help us and guide us but He does not pick our mates for us. He can and will bring viable candidates across our paths, but so will Satan. You have to be wise and discerning.
1Cor 7:39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. NKJV
Notice who's will it is that chooses the mate. It is not God's will but your will. God only requires that they be a true Believer. "Equally Yoked". God gave us His word so we can know Him better and His standard of righteousness. So we can learn to be discerning and have wisdom to make proper choices.
How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Posted : 5 Feb, 2009 11:48 AM
Lydia, FINALLY! I found the post.LOL, but we've already spoken about things.
Walter, sometimes I wonder about you. That was too funneee! But you know what?... My sister has a friend who is a good christian woman, who use to always pray for God to send her a husband for years after her husband left her. She also went in seacrh of a husband and for years she never could find the one person she thought fit the bill...
So her testimony is that one day she was cleaning her carpet, and a UPS guy came to her door to deliver a package. She said, she at first wasn't going to answer it, because she was dirty in her cleaning clothes, but went ahead and answered it.
She states that something happened, when she opened the door, the guys smiled at her, and she at him, and he started teasing her about her cleaning clothes. So they joked back and forth, and he asked her why she had be working so hard cleaning her carpet, and why she didn't have a man doing it for her. She explained that she was singles, and told him if he was so interested and concerned about a man cleaning her carpet, he should come and help her.
Well, he asked her if she could wait until he finished his rounds for the day, and the time he would be off, and he would come back and help her. Of course, she said she didn't believe him, and they laughed and teased each other about him returning. So she continued doing her work, but left one room unfinished just to see if the guy would return, and sure enough, around 6 PM that eveing, the guy came back.
Long story short, they started dating, and after about six months, got married and are still married. This happened back in 1974. So I suppose we must be on the watch fight and pray mode at all times... because we never know. He just might come by Fed EX or UPS, or even the mailman or mailwoman:yay:
How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Posted : 5 Feb, 2009 04:43 PM
Walter,
I knew it wouldn't be too long before we bumped heads again on Calvinism. LOL. You know I can't let that go without a comment.
I have to ask, why would you want to pick a spouse without seeking God's guidance? The Bible tells us there is nothing good in us, so I don't think that would lend itself to making proper choices. Or is it that you think God would not help us if we ask?
I am not sure how far you can carry your idea of Calvinism, but let's think about it for a minute. Do you think God would have let Abraham pick anyone but Sarah? What about the story of Rebekah? You don't think God may have had His hand in that? What about the wives and maidservants of Jacob? Do you think he accidentally produced the fathers of the 12 tribes? Who chooses Jesus' bride?
I would think that God's sovereignty would override anything we want ourselves. If things are not preordained, does that mean the books of prophesy are useless? Because if they are not preordained, then all that would have to happen to change it, would be for one person to decide they didn't want to do something.
It seems to me that Calvinism is the literal translation, and Armenianism is trying to find another way by logic. God is sovereign, and will do what He wants, with who He wants, when He wants. It just seems abundantly clear to me that no one but God is in control, as He always has been.
That is an accurate description of Calvinist theory. The only thing I see wrong with it is that people try to twist it to cover their own shortcomings. Calvinism is not about you, or me, it is about God's sovereignty.
How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Posted : 5 Feb, 2009 05:25 PM
Amen! Leon,
A good answer based on the word taken at face value. I agree with you completely. I do love the exchanges between Walter and yourself, always thought provoking. Thanks, you guys.
How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Posted : 7 Feb, 2009 02:14 PM
Well Walter,
You have just shattered my hopes and dreams. Here I was thinking that the guy would knock and there would be a monster arrow over his head and a flashing sigh saying....pick me, pick me while angels sang the Hallelujah Chorus. Sigh. Another one bites the dust.
Thank you for the laugh and smile. Humor can explain a serious situation somtimes better than anything else.
How should a man persue a christian mate? Should he ask God to send him a woman or should he go looking for one?
Posted : 7 Feb, 2009 11:01 PM
Sometimes I really wonder if God meant for me to be with anyone though. Like I have a huge heart and I think I could offer a woman all of it, could treat her right. But I still have this huge fear of letting anyone that close and honestly I've never been the close type. I've never had a best friend, never had a real girl friend, and I've never even been close to my parents either. It's like I've lived my whole life as a rogue. I want to trust people again and open up, and let God use me for whatever purpose but I have all these fears. I'm afraid to let anyone close, I'm afraid to even try. I just want to be happy but everyone keeps telling me what I failure I am, that I don't have a girl friend or wife, that I am not working a good job, that I'm still living with my parents, that I'm not in college. I'm just so afraid to live. I want to do better and I want to be what a woman would want but there just seems to be too much heart ache in relationships. Should I forget women and die a virgin, or ask God?
