Author	Thread: the right way??
Admin	the right way?? Posted : 6 Feb, 2011 03:17 PM I know this is kinda redundant, cuz i put it in the relationship advice group, but i need some help explaining to a woman that i need time or she needs to find some one else to marry. we had only been seeing each other casually for a couple weeks before she started making comments about when we get married, and it really creeps me out. i thought us guys were usually the ones going too fast.... please help!:prayingm: Post Reply
View Profile History	the right way?? Posted : 6 Feb, 2011 03:30 PM Billy--- you are by no means the first guy I've heard of having this problem. I don't think some women realize how wanting a relationship to progress towards marriage so quickly definitely creeps a guy out. The only advice I know to give is be honest with her about how you feel. Deborah Post Reply
View Profile History	the right way?? Posted : 6 Feb, 2011 03:33 PM You do just need to tell her that you think it is too soon to be even talking about marriage. Also, it might not hurt to mention that it takes time to really know someone before thinking about marriage. Good Luck! Post Reply
View Profile History	the right way?? Posted : 6 Feb, 2011 03:40 PM thanks to you both... it feels kinda like emotional blackmail lately because we didn't get to know each other as friends first... scary cuz i want to get married after only a few weeks.. maybe counselling with our pastor would help... Post Reply
Elisa View Profile History	the right way?? Posted : 6 Feb, 2011 05:17 PM the old axiom, act in haste, repent in leisure comes to mind. take your time and pray. Post Reply
View Profile History	the right way?? Posted : 6 Feb, 2011 05:25 PM I get the opposite problem, women who want to drag things waaayyyy out. Just curious, is she specifically stating that she wants to marry you, or is she just �thinking ahead�, looking at what might be IF the two of you were to marry? I am a planner, I like to take things and think them through to a logical end. Is she just thinking out loud, or is she just desperately wanting to marry someone? Just something to think about. Of course calling you 22 times in one day is a little creepy. Post Reply
View Profile History	the right way?? Posted : 6 Feb, 2011 07:35 PM The irony of this sort of situation is that the most influential and inspirational couples that I've known in my life actually wed after only four months of knowing each other. I've known four such couples who've been "happily" married for well over fifty years. I've listened intently to their stories through the years. And in all cases, it truly made, and still makes my heart yearn for the very thing that they have or had together. Had I had it my way many years ago, I would have been married to the woman I fell in love with 'at first site' when I was in my early twenties. I was very much prepared for something like that to happen. It didn't. These days it's just so much different. Our generation has produced a divorce rate of well over fifty percent now. Most of the ones now who move 'too fast' have quite a lot of emotional drama, wounds, and unresolved issues. Distractions outside the marriage are pandemic in proportion. And while it would be nice to assume that one who would start talking marriage after two weeks would be emotionally healthy, unfortunately, history has shown me that there is the potential in being hitched to a 'bunny boiler' in the end.... It's sad.... but it is what it is..... Post Reply
View Profile History	the right way?? Posted : 6 Feb, 2011 08:51 PM Hi, I think you should be honest, tell her how you feel and then create some boundaries if necessary. While I know a wonderful Godly couple who married after only 8 months, (both divorced related to their spouses' infidelity) it depends on the relationship each of you have with the Lord. Both people in this couple I mention have been serious Christians forever and I believe God brought the two of them together after they sustained such a blow. The Lord was who each of them depended on and who they had at the center of their lives. If your friend is pushing to get married, then she could be trying to fill a void that the Lord should be filling. I would love to get married again, but only if it is God's will. That doesn't mean that I don't get impatient, but I always come back to the Word, which states that God's timing is perfect and His ways are not my ways. If His will is for me to remain single then I will. May God Bless You and give you direction. B- Post Reply
View Profile History	the right way?? Posted : 7 Feb, 2011 08:38 PM Tough one, but honesty is the best way. I've had to do it and it was not easy or pleasant. Most people will get the hint and back off but some may need the silent treatment after gently telling them the truth. Pray tell....what is a "bunny boiler?" Should I be cautious of this, too? :rolleyes: :bunny: Post Reply
View Profile History	the right way?? Posted : 8 Feb, 2011 03:34 PM Thank you Joey for asking that question! I'm curious about the "bunny boiler" too. Is that fun way to say psychopath? Post Reply