Author	Thread: ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE?
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 10 Oct, 2010 06:41 PM If God felt we were ready we would be married right? Are we our own worse enemy? Do anyone you guys and gals feel you are sabotaging your goal to be married? Post Reply
View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 10 Oct, 2010 08:15 PM That's difficult to say for sure, DeeDee ... depends on each person, God's sovereignty, and His particular working out of His plan and desire for each of us in finding, as Paul McCartney noted in his love song titled ONLY LOVE REMAINS: "the right boy for the right girl" who is His BEST for us ... I'm tired, it's time to get to bed, and my thinkin's getting a little "fuzzy", so this may not be as "wise" as I'm thinkin' it is ... anyway, it's some thoughts that came to me. Steve Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 10 Oct, 2010 08:38 PM I feel like this...God can move in any way to bring our spouse. I think most of us here dont really go out and feel this is the best idea to meet people. well, that's my reason anyway. I just work and come home, go to church and that's basically it. when I got out, it's with girlfriends so...although God can do ANYTHING...I dont think my being here keeps me from that type of blessing. when I get my hands involved, like dating everyone that comes my way and not using discernment THEN I would say yes...I'm getting in the way. when we begin to "settle" or compromise on important things, yes...we're getting in the way. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 06:58 AM I don't know, of course, but I don't think so. At least, not in my case. It's not like I'm a hermit who never goes out and never meets people. I have a full-time job that puts me in the middle of a lot of Christian people. I go to my own church most of the time, but I do piano/organ subbing at several other churches as needed, so again, I'm around a lot of different people. I go to a young adults Bible study every other week, and meet new people there. I'm naturally a fairly shy person, but I really make an effort to be friendly and talk to as many people as possible. In spite of all that, though, I don't feel like I meet very many single, Christian guys between the ages of 25 and 35. That's why I joined a dating site...to broaden my circle of friends/acquaintances. I figure that God can use any situation and any circumstance to bring along the right guy for me...I doubt it'll be through a dating site, but I'm not going to limit God in that respect. Neither am I going to sit around the house and assume that God will bring the guy along without me putting forth any effort. Post Reply
View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 10:44 AM I will go out on a limb and state that if you are single and not called to full time ministry, then you are outside of God�s will. I don�t believe that God is waiting for us to become perfect before we are married (although he or she might want you to improve). The very first command that God gives is to be fruitful and multiply. None of those commands have ever been rescinded. Even the verse that I use in my profile speaks to singleness. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 (NASB) 32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. To me, if you have seriously spent several years looking for a spouse and have failed, then you are doing something wrong. I am very guilty of failing. I just have no clue as to what I am doing, and all my request for help have been turned down. It always comes down to me just going out and blindly trying to figure it out on my own. I think that the modern church has failed single people. They refuse to help those of us who are having trouble finding someone. They throw out the lame excuse of, �you just have to wait for God�s timing�. That is just an excuse to get away with apathy, plain and simple, nothing more. So, the answer to your question, can you sabotage your efforts at getting married? Absolutely. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 11:01 AM One important question to ask yourself is, "Am I the kind of person that the kind of person I would want to marry would want to marry?" We can build our relationship with Christ, grow in our faith, and grow personally, but we can't hurry up God's timing. Seeking to be completely satisfied in God can only lead to good things, and so what if you don't find a spouse? I think it's wrong to assume there's something wrong with you if you aren't married after a couple years. I mean, my dad didn't get married til he was almost 30 because he had to graduate college, get a job, get moved to the Chicago division, and meet my mom there. God has different things in store for different people, and the timing is all different. Post Reply
View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 11:52 AM Yes, it did take him a while, but was he ACTIVELY searching for a wife, or was he waiting until he was ready to support a family. I am speaking of those who have all of the traditional things out of the way, education, ok job, and are actively seeking. I think people use the excuse of "it's just not God's timming" as an excuse not to make the necesary changes to find a spouse. They would rather selfishly stay the way the are not not be married. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 01:50 PM Well, he already had a girlfriend when he met my mom, so I guess you could say he was actively looking. Sometimes people need to make changes and grow before they're ready to settle down with a spouse. Sometimes the spouse has to be made ready for them. While there are changes behavior-wise that often could be made in people, we need to be careful not to suggest there must be sin in their life they need to deal with simply because they're single. Post Reply
View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 02:24 PM Oh, I completely agree with you on the sin part as far as God "perfecting" us before we find a spouse. I hate the mentality that God must be keeping a spouse from you because of some sin in your life, especially when their only �proof� of that sin is that you are still single. Goes right back to apathy. If my only problem is my sin in my life, then they don�t need to help me understand what I am doing wrong, it is all my fault and my problem. Then they can wipe their hands clean and walk away without helping. I am speaking of more practical things such as: For women: Not keeping a healthy weight and expecting guys to just like them anyways. Expecting guys to have a great job, buy a house all on their own instead of working together on those things. For Men: Not being responsible and work on getting the education or learning a trade to support a family. Focusing entirely on appearance and not looking for a Godly woman. I know a guy who is 53 now. He is miserly, doesn�t like it when kids make noise, run around the house, wants a wife to keep the house spotless and perfectly organized (he�s not very messy, so that helps), he doesn�t have a paying job (although he has saved enough money to live without a job), but he knows that God will bring him a wife that meets those expectations. You can�t be self-centered, not do the things that most women want from a husband, and then expect God to just drop a wife in your lap. You have to start doing those things that will attract women. I�m not saying becoming some cookie-cutter kind of guy, but there are basic things that almost every woman wants in a husband, and they are not wrong for expecting them. And it is the same for women. You don�t have to read the forums for very long before you hear people complaining about having to change. �Why do guys always have to focus on appearance?� �Why are women so picky, they don�t want me because I don�t have a job.� I just get frustrated with the church because I always get the mentality that they don�t want to help. They expect you to find someone on your own, figure out how to build the relationship, and then give you counseling once you are engaged. You go out and do it all by yourself and then we will tell you how to be a good husband or wife. If someone is asking for help, then the church should help them instead of pushing them away. Instead the only thing that the church wants to do is tell you that you need to just stay single. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 02:37 PM Cobbler, I usually agree with your posts here, but I think this is one that I don't agree with (or either I'm not understanding what you are saying). I've felt that I was ready to get married for 4 or 5 years, and I've been actively searching for a husband for nearly 3. Are you saying that it is wrong of me to still be single? I WANT to get married, and it's not like I've been turning down numerous marriage proposals! (Well, except the one I turned down over the weekend from the guy from Egypt... :ROFL: ) I've only been asked out by one guy in all that time...based on how our relationship was progressing, I fully expected to be engaged to him by the end of this year, but clearly that wasn't in God's plans. So just how should a girl go about getting herself a husband? It seems to me like a guy who really wants to get married can at least ask out as many girls as it takes to find "the one", but a girl pretty much has to put herself out there and get to know guys and hope someone gets up the nerve to ask her out. Post Reply
View Profile History	ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE? Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 03:37 PM Pianogal, I just thought of something. Generally women can tell if a guy is being shy. But, when a woman is being shy, men generally interpret it as being disinterested in them. Even though in your eyes you are putting yourself out there, guys could be be thinking that you are truly not interested. Now I have no problem with being shy. I am not going to tell you that you need to change your personality, you just need to change your strategy a bit. Do you have any guys in mind that you wished would ask you out? Try asking a friend to talk to him about you. I have put a few couples together at the request of the women. He still has to ask you out, just have your friend let the guy know that you are interested in him. This is the sort of thing that I am talking about where people in the church can help each other out. Instead we are expected to find someone on our own. Oh, and I don't think you are necesarily sinning, just not doing it right, or people aren't willing to help you. I do think people are sinning if they are not willing to put for an honest effort to find someone. Post Reply

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