Author	Thread: Following up on the "signals" post below, then when would you say ... how soon ... should a guy state that he is "romantically" interested and not just "interested" considering THAT in itself is not a sufficient "signal" to "clue in" some of the gals who replied?
Admin	Following up on the "signals" post below, then when would you say ... how soon ... should a guy state that he is "romantically" interested and not just "interested" considering THAT in itself is not a sufficient "signal" to "clue in" some of the gals who replied? Posted : 7 Oct, 2010 07:30 PM I suppose it's another one of those "complicated" situations, huh? :hearts::hearts::hearts: Steve Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Following up on the "signals" post below, then when would you say ... how soon ... should a guy state that he is "romantically" interested and not just "interested" considering THAT in itself is not a sufficient "signal" to "clue in" some of the gals who replied? Posted : 7 Oct, 2010 09:07 PM I know I'm a guy, but I'm gonna go with yes and no. I've found that just coming out and stating it only works if she's already attracted. Otherwise, things tend to get awkward. Post Reply
View Profile History	Following up on the "signals" post below, then when would you say ... how soon ... should a guy state that he is "romantically" interested and not just "interested" considering THAT in itself is not a sufficient "signal" to "clue in" some of the gals who replied? Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 12:40 AM I don't really know. I think that starting out as friends can be great. It provides a real low-pressure way of getting to know each other without getting too much emotion involved hopefully. But then you can get caught up in the friendship trap and find it hard to progress, I suppose. So maybe it's just better for a guy to state his intentions up front. At least things are clear then. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Following up on the "signals" post below, then when would you say ... how soon ... should a guy state that he is "romantically" interested and not just "interested" considering THAT in itself is not a sufficient "signal" to "clue in" some of the gals who replied? Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 08:17 AM I think the important thing about "friends first" is that you have to be careful to stay away from "completely platonic first." I'm in no way, shape, or form condoning any sort of ungodly intimacy prior to dating, but you've seen those people who there's clearly interest in each other even though they aren't dating, right? Going past "just friends" is so much easier there than if there is absolutely 0 chemistry. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Following up on the "signals" post below, then when would you say ... how soon ... should a guy state that he is "romantically" interested and not just "interested" considering THAT in itself is not a sufficient "signal" to "clue in" some of the gals who replied? Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 08:24 AM Oh, getting to my actual point (funny how I posted it without saying what I actually wanted to say). If a guy is interested in a girl and treats her as more than a platonic friend (I'm not gonna get into what to do specifically. That's too long), it's almost like stating his intentions or setting himself apart from the guys who will only be platonic friends. If the girl likes the guy, it doesn't really matter whether she knows he likes her or not. When he asks her on a date, she'll accept. I have yet to hear of a girl who liked a guy and turned him down because she didn't think he liked her in that way before. Post Reply
View Profile History	Following up on the "signals" post below, then when would you say ... how soon ... should a guy state that he is "romantically" interested and not just "interested" considering THAT in itself is not a sufficient "signal" to "clue in" some of the gals who replied? Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 09:00 AM Thanks, pixy and Tulip!!! Good points that you've shared on this question ... it IS hard to move beyond being just platonic friends with a gal or guy once you started out that way and one of you has developed deeper feelings (hopefully, both of you, but you don't know that for sure yet) and you would like to get out of being just platonic friends but you feel somewhat "trapped" because you've besome so used to and "good at" just being safely platonic friends in a relationship with them where the possibility of rejecting and hurting each other doesn't exist ... but, if you really do have deeper feelings of love now, you need to be brave (a BIG BAREFOOT "GULP!!!", everyone) and take that next step, with God's love and guidance, and share with that gal or guy how your heart has come to feel about them and ask them if they could be feeling the same, and then take it from there, either way, in love for each other. Steve Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	Following up on the "signals" post below, then when would you say ... how soon ... should a guy state that he is "romantically" interested and not just "interested" considering THAT in itself is not a sufficient "signal" to "clue in" some of the gals who replied? Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 01:06 PM I agree with pixy that if the girl doesn't seem to"get" the hint that you want more than just friendship it's best to be upfront sooner rather than later about it. Its always bad when a person is caught in a one sided relationship knowing the other doesn't share the same feelings. Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	Following up on the "signals" post below, then when would you say ... how soon ... should a guy state that he is "romantically" interested and not just "interested" considering THAT in itself is not a sufficient "signal" to "clue in" some of the gals who replied? Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 03:45 PM I think it is important to say you would like to be friends "first" but you would like to eventually get into a relationship. Lest you stay in friend mode..I also think is makes it better you know up front if the person is a potential relationship or just another friend. You may end up building a friendship and the person may be building a relationship with someone else unless you are clear.. Post Reply
View Profile History	Following up on the "signals" post below, then when would you say ... how soon ... should a guy state that he is "romantically" interested and not just "interested" considering THAT in itself is not a sufficient "signal" to "clue in" some of the gals who replied? Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 03:50 PM That's very true, DeeDee. I may be attracted to a guy I'm just friends w/ and be hoping that something will develop there, but unless I feel God specifically telling me to wait for the guy friend to make a move, I'm going to be looking and exploring other possibilities. Post Reply