Hmmm... That is really difficult to say, and perhaps it is not the same for everyone. And I'm not sure I have enough experience to really say anything here, but I will anyway! :goofball:
My first boyfriend was my freshman year of college. I had just turned 19. He was the instructor for my writing class, and he asked me out a week or so into the quarter. I was completely dumb about that type of thing and saw nothing wrong with our little fling. And it wasn't that disastrous or anything... I broke up w/ him when he wanted to get physical and I didn't. What was REALLY stupid of me is that is that I broke up w/ him right before I left for Spring break, before he had posted grades... And he was mad at me for breaking up w/ him and claimed he didn't get my final paper, which counted for like 1/4 of my grade.
But anyway... I am rambling...
I wasn't in love w/ him or anything, but I was very fond of him and I got this little rush of excitement every time I saw him or the phone rang. And it was so simple and nice. None of my relationships since then have had that same quality. Things seem more complicated now... More mature, yes... But life just get more complicated as your get older, and relationships are w/in the context of that. When you're younger, you have less life clutter and so the relationship shines brighter and seems bigger and more all-consuming, I think. Maybe?
But, I was WAY too immature to get married back when I was 19, and up until the past year or so probably actually... haha...
i have been wondering about this lately, as in yesterday and today. i do not have the answer only observations; like you i'm looking forward to the responses. c'mon people, speak up!
personally, i don't believe i will ever truly grow up in the worldly sense. i wonder to myself; do sheep have calenders or watches? if Jesus is Lord over all, and the Good Shepard, why should i "grow up"? i identify "growing up" with worrying about car loans and mortgages etc thank God i'm still young, i don't plan on figuring it out though, only following God... still doesn't keep me from wondering though. thinking about it, i hope as i grow i learn to trust God more instead of growing up.
i realize i strayed from the topic, but it opened up a paradox, for me anyway. does mature love = self assured love and the other one totally dependent on trust? if it's the latter then i'd amend it to read "totally dependent on trust [in God]". my jumbled two cents:dunce:
Hmmmm...... you seem to be asking two questions. I've had crushes -- the first boy I was head over heels with in High School I still thought of daily way into my 20's.
I fell deeply in love with a man right after I gave my heart to Jesus (late 20's). I was told to guard my heart, but having no idea how to do that (and no one to tell me) I didn't. And ended up getting very hurt. I was still loving him up to five years later.
I have never had a "pure romantic love", so I can't comment on that.
I don't know which is stronger. They each have their own strength. As for "growing up"? HA!! Nope. More mature - yes. I do mature as I get older. But grow up? Not for me! :laugh:
In My experience.. i just have 1 formal relation.. and it was when i was 17, he was 25. Before i was Christian Catholic but he is still..
I met him in Germany.. He is a great guy, with real christian values and he is a good person im sure of it. I met him in the World Youth Day 2005 in K�ln with the Pope. He was so perfect for me.. you know the soul mate hahaha.. Really was Love at first sight and our relationship least just 2 years and half more than less... but... God doesnt want us together.. he didnt fight for our love.. and i couldnt return to Germany... was very very hard for me.. cuz I really loved him so much that guy... This relationship changed all in my life. everything... He never sought me but i thanks God for that experienced.. was really great =)
Many people claim that "First Loves" are extra special. I tend to agree with that, even though in hind sight, my first love wouldn't have lasted in a marriage situation (He's been married 4xs so far and told me he gets bored in relationships).
I am hoping to experience one mature true love to last the remainder of our lives. I think with combined life experiences and wisdom from God, that 2 mature people can have "true love" that surpasses what either one has dreamed!
I have yet to experience that older, more mature love first hand. However, I did see a couple that personified the purest and most romantic love. They helped nurture me and showed what was possible.
The couple was in their 80s. She could not put on her support stockings and so every morning, he would rise before her in order to kneel at her feet when she sat up in bed. He would then carefully and with much deliberation gently roll those stockings over her feet and up her legs. One day I asked him why he spent close to 20 minutes putting those stockings on her that way. His response was that her skin was very fragile, like a newborn baby, and she needed to be treated with tenderness to keep her from bruising or her fragile skin from ripping.
The woman would then rise and painfully hobble into the kitchen to make his breakfast. She waited on him hand and foot, ensuring his coffee cup never went empty and that everything was just right.
After breakfast, they would head to the living room to collapse in their chairs to recuperate from their morning activities. It was very common to walk in and see them holding hands and watching the birds frolic outside the window. After 45 years of marriage to each other, 3 prior spouses, and five boys all told between them, they were still in love. Their little acts and gestures spoke volumes of love.
On his deathbed, the gentleman thought more of the wife he was leaving behind than the trip he was about to take. He worried about who was going to put on her stockings in the morning, hold the door for her to get in the car, and keep her company. Over the years they had argued, fought, and raised a houseful of boys. Life was not always serene. Love was not always a passionate affair. However, when the end came and burned away all the chaff, their love was revealed to be so strong and pure.
Without all the life experiences to strengthen the love, I am not sure the strength would have developed. Just as a tree planted on a windy hill must dig deep roots into the soil to withstand the tempests, so did their love.
I believe that your first Love is by far the Strongest most Enduring Love you will probably have in your Life because
it is a Love that has not been Tarnished by the Hurt of Deceit or Betrayal. You are Head-over-Heels in Love! You don't know any better. You've never been hurt...you've never felt that Pain of Loss...of being Rejected and the two of you are Blissfully unaware of Life's Downfalls.
It is only after being hurt that you start to become a bit more cynical and jaded and just a weee....bit leery of Falling in Love again.
Love after the First One is just not the same.
You can still have a Wonderful Love...but it will never match that First True Love. It may still come close though (if you're Lucky).
