I'm just curious how women prefer to be contacted here. Are the early letters supposed to be filled with questions about you or should the man just be telling about himself? Not in a bragging way but kind of a 'this is me' so you can learn and maybe have more questions to ask?
How are you approaching your time on here? More of a just chatting or starting out seriously investigating? lol
I am just interested in learning of different perspectives. It would be nice to know the age bracket you're interested in also.
Okay, so, I'm 31 and not currently looking around. But 41 is about right. I like older men... or, should I say: mature men. Not all men mature with age.
I am on here to enjoy the forums. I needs lots of intellectual stimulation. And humour. And I need people to challenge me spiritually and encourage me to grow. When I first joined, I was sort of casually looking for someone, but not really seriously investigating. To be honest, I was sorta flooded with messages at times, so if I went to my inbox, it was to respond to guys who had initiated contact with me. After dealing with those messages, I really didn't feel like trying to interact w/ anyone else.
That said, letters are preferred over winks. And the first letters should be a mix of asking questions and talking about himself. But DON'T make it sound like an interrogation and don't ask really personal, serious questions at first. Keep it light and fun and playful. And don't go on-and-on for so many paragraphs that she'll feel weary just thinking about replying to you. Compliments are nice, but ought not be excessive and should be more about just her appearance. Make her feel like there is something about her that you are drawn to and that is worth cherishing.
Contact preference: A nice note that is a balance of conversation openers-including questions and comments about my profile (which proves the person actually read it), as well as possibly some things that, based on my profile, we might both be interested in or that really interest you or will give me a better idea who you are. Be conversational, but don't leave me sitting at the computer thinking, "ummm, what can I say?"
I start out just getting to know a person. To me, getting to know you is serious, though, or I wouldn't be on here. If I don't see us becoming serious, but do enjoy visiting, I'll tell you that up front. Generally, it's because either a person is much older or younger than me or lives in another country.
Age bracket: generally 36-43, but it really depends on the person.
Here is a bad intro note:
Hey babe, how are you? I'm fine. I liked your pic. Call me at 213-123-1234 :winksmile:
Here is a good intro note:
I noticed your profile and really like the country scene picture. Your name on this site is interesting. Would you mind telling me how you decided on it?
I also enjoy outdoor activities. Do you prefer kayaking or canoing? I prefer kayaking, myself. Never flipped a boat. I'm planning a youth trip for a group of 12-15 year olds. It would be nice if you could come!
I noticed you'd been on some missions trips. Where have you been and what did you do on them? I was in Mexico two years ago assisting in building an orphanage.
Bob
That tells me he viewed my picture, has read at least part of my profile, and gives me something to easily respond to, either with questions about his trips and activities or with answers to his questions. It also gives me a little information about him. And he signed his name. So I don't have to figure out how to pronounce his pseudonym if I like him!
bamak.... I, like Pixy... have to admit, I need mental stimulation. People that I can exchange my mental thoughts with who can appreciate what may be going on in my mind, and are spiritually on the same page, somewhat, as I.
I said enough in my profile to encourage or deter most... so, a nice, honest, simple PM works for me. Winks I appreciate, but so really signify a mans' real interest in me. Some of you men are into looks, could care less about the content of what a woman writes in her profile. Others take the time to read the profile, and wink, saying nothing at all. So, winks have no real meaning for me. I usually always write back something out of courtesy, but that's all actually.
I like a man who can see the little that most can interpret from looking at pics in a profile, or even taking the time to read a profile, and actually take that and just relax and say "Hey, I would like to be in communication with you. Nothing heavy, just simple, slow, that's ok with me". Now, that raises my eyebrows! Thanks for the post! You've partially revived me! :applause: ~ GraceMae
Show interest. If you really want to get to know someone you definitely have to send a message. To me, a line just to say "Hi'" and that you are interested in getting to know that person. If they are interested at all, they will make a reply. Then start asking questions to get to know someone better.:winksmile:
Well, I was going to give you some wise advice but it looks some of these younger gals beat me to it. I love marikashome�s advice. Her example is great.
I can�t stand a guy to call me babe or sexy in a message. That is such a turn off to me. I am first his sister in Christ before I am anything, and I appreciate being treated as one.
I have some articles on my website that may be a blessing to you - www.solidfrontworshipcenter.org point to the �Single But Not Alone� page.
