Author	Thread: Satirical Tips for Profile Writing
Tulip89 View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 09:25 PM Well, it was done in the guys' side, so it's only fair that the girls get a little teasing as well. Profile Picture: This is the very first thing anyone will notice about you when searching. Make sure it's zoomed in so close on your face that I could never recognize you if we met in real life. Now take three more from slightly different angles that reveal nothing new about how you look. Profile Information: You are too unique to be fully described in a box. Instead of giving us a good summary, give us that statement and only another line or two. Make sure to mention that you're not the average girl, that you like having fun, that you don't like drama, and that you're looking to meet the love of your life. After all, so many other girls have said that they hate having fun, when I find your profile, I'll be absolutely thrilled to see that, uniquely, you enjoy having fun! Finally, spell check and proper punctuation are for the birds. Make sure you do without. In the even that you choose to forgo the traditional profile, make sure you pack your entire life story into one incredibly long paragraph. Leave as little mystery as possible, and be sure to act annoyed when the guy only read four of the seven pages you had typed out. Not only do you not need spell check or proper punctuation, but you only need one paragraph too! First Date: Say you want to go to dinner, and that you don't like going to movies because it doesn't give us a chance to talk. Be sure to drop plenty of "subtle" hints that you expect it to be a fancy restaurant. The more heavy handed, the better. Physical Attributes: I have no idea exactly what curvy means, and I'm pretty sure neither does anyone else. If you aren't entirely formed from jagged edges, be sure to check this box. Otherwise, describe yourself as average, which totally isn't ambiguous either. Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 09:31 PM :ROFL: That is just as hilarious as the other one. The difference is you may get jumped over here. :laugh: Post Reply
Elisa View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 09:46 PM Grin, so......the ladies who modeled for Picasso during his cubist phase are the only ones who don't need to check curvy? Too funny. Thank you for the laugh...and as was mentioned previously...beware. Ladies have been known to be a wee bit on the vicious side. But don't worry, we don't bark....that just leaves the bite. :purpleangel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 10:32 PM :ROFL::ROFL: i hope your delicate tulip petals don't get bruised :laugh: take it easy on him ladies! nyanda:purpleangel: Post Reply
InHisHonor View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 2 May, 2010 11:00 PM Tulip - You forgot Profile picture - Wear a low cut shirt while taking the picture from a high angle and show as much cleavage as possible to show us how Godly you are, that will really attract a Godly man. :ROFL: Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 3 May, 2010 04:53 AM Uh oh! Tulip has some back-up! :bouncy: :boxing: I know what you mean, InHisHonor. But I will tell you why women do that. We've gotten enough whistles, googley look you up and down eye stare examinations and numbers slipped into pockets to understand even before yall said it, that you are motivated, impressed and moved by what you see. I don't know the numbers, but out of curiosity, I look at the number of women and men online at different times. There has been over 600 women here online (the highest number I've seen) at any given time. There is a sense of competition here. Women often feel like they have to do rather than say things that are going to get your attention. Just like I read in one thread how you all often feel like you have to be original to grab a ladies attention. There is a sense that you all don't read the profiles as much look at the pictures. In all honesty, do you bother to read the profile of a woman you know you would never be with and don't want to get to know because her picture(s) don't appeal? Not saying it's right, it's just part of the reason some women try to lure with their attributes. :bouncy: Post Reply
Brandy774 View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 3 May, 2010 10:53 AM ok *runs out to buy a micro mini dress with no front* and I need to put on the first date...desert must include flakes of 14 ct gold!:peace: Post Reply
InHisHonor View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 3 May, 2010 07:59 PM I understand what you're saying Babygirl, yes the competition may be tough but that shouldn't give way to a woman bringing herself down to a worldly level. A woman doesn't have to show skin to attract a man's attention. They can have an interesting background, a great smile, a sparkle in the eye, a funny face, or even a tilt of the head. When I'm looking through profiles can I be attracted by a woman's picture because she looks pretty? Absolutely. But after the first picture I look at the next pictures she has posted and if I find shots that are of a seductive pose I don't bother with the rest of the profile. Do I look at profiles of women that some men my not find attractive? Yup, and I do read their profile. For me it depends on the way they take the shot I guess, I like to see a person that looks comfortable in their own skin. Post Reply
aceets View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 9 May, 2010 07:10 AM Bravo Tulip! You have picked on all the stereotypes found in female profiles on this site! Blessings Aceets Post Reply
View Profile History	Satirical Tips for Profile Writing Posted : 13 May, 2010 06:24 AM uhmmm.... it's very helpful, thank you, but what would you mark in the body type box if you really were "curvaceous"? My figure is very feminine. Full stop. So what'd be the right word for that? Lol of course I had to look it up myself because (exactly as you had said) I had no idea what curvy or voluptuous meant (I'm not a native speaker anyways). So what? If I put "avarage" it won't be entirely true as I'm so much better than average :P and I'm not gonna put anything like "few pounds more" as this sounds really bad. Not to mention "big". And I'm not athletic. Could you maybe check out my pictures and give me some kind of a hint? I don't want men to skip my profile only because they don't know how to use a dictionary :P cheers Post Reply