Whether you're being blunt, straight-forward, forthcoming or brutally honest, the truth is always the best policy. Granted we should always speak the truth in -LOVE-, but without the truth, there's really no reason to speak.
Anyway, my question is why will some ladies give a description of what they are looking for, admit that they find those exact qualities and still reject a guy? Yes this has personal application to my life. Why will some ladies just not be honest enough to tell the guy exactly why they are not interested. If a guy fits your criteria and you still don't think it's a good match, what hidden criteria did he not measure up to?
Hard to say, exactly. It could be that they just don't want to hurt your feelings. They don't know how to say it with grace.
It could also be their text is full of baloney and they don't really believe (or want) the things they say.
So hard to discern that online. Time tells all in the end, is my way of thinking. A person can only "fake" it so long online. Once the face-to-face starts it is really hard to "fake" their way through a relationship.
Sorry to hear about your troubles. Not all women (or men) are that way, I assure you.
Well honestly I know exactly what you are talking about....I myself am in the situation with a guy that I know. He is more into me than I am into him.
Basically we were set up through my aunt who knew him. He is a really nice guy. A gentleman, kind, loving...all that jazz that a girl would die to have BUT as I have stated in a different post on a different thread he doesn't have that Personality I think I need to make myself break out of my shell a little more. Since September we have gone out 3 times maybe?? My parents know him...my mom loves the guy...but the thing is...he talked more to my parents on the second date then he did with me! I don't know...guess to me he just doesn't have that adventurous, outgoing, talkative personality that I have that I feel is needed. I think we would be good friends but right now I don't see it getting anywhere close to us dating. He keeps trying to go out with me again and typically i have something else to do. I haven't gone out with him since November and he is still trying. I haven't lead him on in anyway shape or form...well that I know of. I don't want to tell him I'm not interested because I don't want to hurt him and lose any friendship I might gain from it. And who knows...maybe farther down the road he will come out of his shell a bit more and we have our friendship to build from.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that yes sometimes we might meet a guy that fits all of the basic criteria, go on a date and then discover that we just don't click as we might have thought, that there is a lack of personality (in my case that is)
Sometimes I wonder if a guy can be too nice? Like he is so scared to just be himself (which is what I want) he ends up being the "Prince Charming" with no personality because he is too focused on opening doors, giving the girl all of the decisions on what they should do, and on what not to say. I much rather have a guy just be him self. Yes I do love a guy that opens doors and is curtious (spelling?) to others...but if the guy has to lose his true self and personality in doing so...I don't think its worth it.
I hope this helps...sometimes I find myself talking in circles....I'm still trying to figure out how to not hurt this guy who is really nice...but boring in my eyes. Because he is all into me...but i'm not that into him...UGH...doesn't dating stink??
I agree with what has already been said. A girl might not have been totally honest when she stated what she was looking for, so when the guy who fits that criteria actually shows up, she realizes her mistake.
Or sometimes a guy can have all the right qualifications, but somehow there is just no attraction. For whatever reason. I've had guys contact me who seem nice, the profile is good, they seem to meet my criteria, but there is just SOMETHING that doesn't click into place. Even after a few emails or IMs, something is still wrong. Other times, there is that connection right away...it's wonderful when that happens!
Thanks for the replys. My question then is wouldn't it be a good idea to tell him this? Even if you think it's going to hurt his feelings. I may not like the truth, but it's a lot better than having to guess.
Well, yes, a woman could tell you that you just don't seem to "click" with her. But how to say that? Would you really be satisfied if a woman told you she saw some things she liked in your profile, but something about you as a whole just didn't seem to fit? Would you not want to know more - something specific? What if she couldn't provide it?
I'm just sayin'. Yes, we all should be loving and honest with each other and just say what we are thinking (in a nice way). But life .......... doesn't work that way.
i do agree sometimes u talk to someone and think we have so much in common then u meet and o my goodness theres just nothing there.
its not really anyones fault it just is.
i have guy friends and we get along great but there is nothing there.
Not long ago i went out with this guy and he was and still is very nice and we had fun but ther was just nothing there we decided friends would be better.
Being honest with someone about things like that r very hard but it is best to "rip the bandage off fast" and get it over with. Of course that is me if u like the bandage i guess u can leave it on.....:ROFL:
Sometimes girl just can't tell, cause she doesn't know. Sometimes you just feel it. You can't know person after short time of dating, but you can feel that he's not the right one.
Second point is that not every one can handle the truth. It could sounds like criticism. And if criticism said with no love it can be damaging for his personality and self-confidence.
And also if i don't like something in you it doesn't mean that something wrong with you. Other girl could love it. You know what I mean?
I'll give you one example.
One guy told me that he thinks I'm in love with material things. :) He made this conclusion after looking at my picture with the car. Not really knowing me or talking to me before.
