Author	Thread: would you respond to this message
Admin	would you respond to this message Posted : 4 Feb, 2010 11:53 PM Hi I've been a member here for about a month and am having a hard time getting a response from other women here. It seems like trying to get a women to respond is like trying to get a job now a days non existent, sorry but its true. So I wanted to give an example of the type of messages I sending. Any advice is well appreciated. "Hi. I read your profile and like that we have some things in common. I'm here just to make new friends and see what happens from there.What are some spiritual qualities are you looking for in a guy?Also are you open to dating guys outside of your race? Thanks" Post Reply
View Profile History	would you respond to this message Posted : 5 Feb, 2010 07:25 AM Hello Brandon!! I've been a member for over a year, and I haven't had any luck at all. I haven't exchanged more than a few emails (except for friends I've met) and I certainly haven't talked to anyone on the phone. But that's all ok because I've found some great people in the forums and that's why I keep coming back. Honestly, I don't get excited about messages like you posted. It seems like a "copy and paste". As I believe another lady suggested in another forum, include something from her profile in your initial contact, something that's special about her that caught your eye (but not about her photo). That let's her know that you actually read her profile. Read some of the other threads in this forum. There are some wonderful suggestions! Just be patient and try not to get frustrated. With love, T Post Reply
View Profile History	would you respond to this message Posted : 5 Feb, 2010 08:02 AM yeah, seems in the realm of copy and paste and boring. Gotta add something to acknowledge you've even read her profile. :boxing: Post Reply
Intellectual_4Play View Profile History	would you respond to this message Posted : 5 Feb, 2010 08:34 AM It's bland and generic and you can tell it could be written to anyone. If I got it an e-mail like this my thought would be something like this: Okokay why did you pick my profile? What interested you? What caught your eye? What did you notice that we had in common? Was it the activities? What it something more intangible like the qualities? Show me you actually read my profile and your interest if more than generic. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	would you respond to this message Posted : 5 Feb, 2010 09:04 AM [QUOTE] "Hi. I read your profile and like that we have some things in common. I'm here just to make new friends and see what happens from there.What are some spiritual qualities are you looking for in a guy?Also are you open to dating guys outside of your race? Thanks" [QUOTE] I have received similar messages before. I usually answer them, but it might be with just a generic "I don't think we would make a good match" reply. While there is nothing really *wrong* with that message, it doesn't really make me especially interested in you. About 5 months ago, I responded favorably to a very similar email. Turned out, the guy was super nice, kinda cute, and we became good online friends. We still talk on Facebook and Skype, though we've never met in person. So that sort of message doesn't mean an automatic NO. But if you want me to be completely honest...let's assume I found that message in my own inbox. First, I would want to know what exactly it was that you think we have in common. Yeah, I might be able to look at your profile and figure that out, but is it really so hard to just say that we have similar backgrounds, share a love of music, etc.? Second, you say you are just here to make friends. Well, I already have plenty of friends in "real life" and online...I don't really feel the need to make another online friend. I'm here to meet a potential husband. Third, you asking questions like those would be fine with me. It gives me something to respond to, should I choose to strike up a conversation via email. Fourth, the email is well written and easy to read and understand. That's always a good sign! Anyway, I hope this helps. Good luck! Post Reply
View Profile History	would you respond to this message Posted : 5 Feb, 2010 07:04 PM Brandon: I agree with the other posts. I may respond to a message like this, but I would be really cautious. You said "we have some things in common" -- but I'd have to check out your profile to know what you were talking about. Try picking just one specific thing. You asked an opened-ended question, which was good, but it was kind of a deep one for an initial contact, I thought. Try something a little lighter. Maybe something about their city or pet or church or something. And for me, if someone said they were looking only for friends, then I would not be interested. I have friends, what I'm looking for is a husband. Other ladies might feel differently about that. On the good side, you have all the spelling and punctuation right! It is a huge turn-off to me to get a message that does not even use capitals or punctuation. Hang in there -- it has only been a month. Keep looking, and keep reaching out! Post Reply
View Profile History	would you respond to this message Posted : 6 Feb, 2010 09:52 AM Thank you i do read the profiles and mention something about what they said. So what am i supposed to say? Post Reply
Veggie View Profile History	would you respond to this message Posted : 6 Feb, 2010 01:10 PM Hi Brandon. I find that most women here are looking long term relationships and marriage partners which are basically the same--bottom line, they are seeking commitment of which you email seems to be totally void. Don't be afraid to say what you want. People who say they are looking for anything aren't really being totally honest. I regret that anything is a choice. If you go to buy a car, you tell the dealer exactly what it is that you like. You would never tell him anything because he will probably sell you a nothing--a car that is absolutely no good that he has been waiting to dump on some one. So look through her profile and tell her what it is about the profile that you like. The most important thing is that you respond prayerfully because a true Christian woman will be able to pick up on it because she will be following the guidance of God. I must say that you do have courage and humility to expose yourself in this thread the way you have. That being said, I hope that we have been of some help to you. Praying for you to have a good return. Veggie Post Reply
Veggie View Profile History	would you respond to this message Posted : 6 Feb, 2010 01:16 PM Meant to mention this also. You can drop the race question. No matter the race, a women interested in you will respond. She knows your race because she can see your pic. You will be able to tell by the response if it matters or not. Chances are that if it does, once she peeps your profile, you will not hear from here except for maybe some type of thanks but no thanks, and maybe not even that much :) Veggie Post Reply
View Profile History	would you respond to this message Posted : 8 Feb, 2010 07:34 PM If you are looking for something specific to say..... I can only point you in the direction. You'll have to customize this for the individual. When you see something you have in common, mention it. "I see you like tennis. I like to play at least once a week, but I'd like to get better at it. How often do you play? "I see you live in Denver. I visited a friend there two years ago and I really liked (fill in the blank). Have you ever been there (done that, eaten there, etc - depending on what is in the blank" "I like your picture of you standing in the woods. There is a good hike near where I am that I like to go on. Do you like walking in the woods?" Other things you can say are "What a nice smile you have!" or "I really like seeing pictures of women with their family members" or...... something along those lines. Give it a try, and write back if you still get stuck. Good luck! Post Reply
View Profile History	would you respond to this message Posted : 10 Feb, 2010 08:41 PM so what do i say then Post Reply